Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)
speaker
1,179 appearances
40 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
Holy shit. I can't change who I am. That's not... True, okay? Everyone can change. I mean, maybe we can make you beautiful. Maybe add some healthcare subsidies, money for children. Oh, kids? I don't know. Okay, well, let's start with something smaller then. How about you, I don't know, maybe try taking off your glasses. Wow. Wow, yeah, see? And maybe tussle your hair a little?
Wow, maybe you can be beautiful. Hey, you know what? Why don't you tell me three things you like about yourself?
God, I hate you, Ronnie. I'm going to the Senate. All right, the big, beautiful bill, everyone. When we come back, we go to South Sudan, so don't go away.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. If you're mad that President Trump is deporting immigrants back to their home country without due process, well, calm down. He's also deporting them to other countries without due process.
The Trump administration is accused of violating another court order on immigration by putting eight migrants on a plane from Texas. Immigration attorneys say they were deported to South Sudan, which is a war-torn country where the State Department advises Americans not to travel.
Wow, South Sudan. The only place more depressing than South Sudan is Madison Square Garden. That's the last nice Knicks game, right? Yeah. For the internet, we lost. So these deportations might seem cruel to some and legally dubious to others. But that's why the Trump administration released this video to show you that they can be also exciting and cool. Deportation rocks! Hail Satan!
You know, that's the funny thing about being a musician. I mean, one minute you think you're gonna be the next Jimi Hendrix, and the next minute your songs are being used in a video titled Gestapo Hype Reel 3.0. But if you would prefer not to be deported to heavy metal, you can always leave on your own. And in fact, if you self-deport, Trump will sweeten the deal.
The Department of Homeland Security conducting its first self-deport operation called Project Homecoming. 64 illegal immigrants making the choice to self-deport back to their home countries.
Officials handed out food and children's toys for each ride, and each person was given a $1,000 stipend for their cooperation.
What? $1,000 and a sack lunch for self-deporting? What idiot would take that offer? What stupid... Ahem.
Hello, Ronnie. Al Madrigal? Wait, Al, you self-deported? But you're a citizen.
$1,000 is not that much money, okay? It's not going to get you very far.
Okay, yeah, but you're in South Sudan.
Ow, enough about the lunch, okay? There's a reason Kristi Noem isn't talking about what happened to these people. The countries they're being sent to are really dangerous. Okay.
Al, try stabbing them with a Capri Sun straw. Oh, my God. Al. Al.
South Sudan's Al Madrigal, everybody. When we come back, Don Staley will be joining me on the show, so don't go away.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is a basketball legend and head coach of the University of South Carolina's women's basketball team. Her new memoir is called Uncommon Favor. Please welcome the legendary Dawn Staley!
The New York City standing ovation.
I gave it to you. I'm honored. Yeah. Three-time Olympic gold medalist as a player, and you won a gold medal as a coach, a champion in playing at college and coaching at college. You are undoubtedly a basketball expert. So did you watch the Knicks game last night?
Okay, well you left at the right time because I just want to ask you about end game situations here. When you have 30 seconds or less left on the clock and your team is down by three, do you foul to send the other team to the free throw line or not?
Showing 81–100 of 1,179 · page 5 of 59
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