Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Oh, oh, yeah, sure, a new low. Oh, my God, it was so crazy. People were holding up signs. An old guy, like, yelled something. Last night was nothing, Costa. That shit was more boring than White Lotus.

Oh, oh, yeah, sure, a new low. Oh, my God, it was so crazy. People were holding up signs. An old guy, like, yelled something. Last night was nothing, Costa. That shit was more boring than White Lotus.

Okay, let me give you some international perspective, okay? Watch what happened in Serbia's parliament yesterday, right? Look at this. There's smoke bombs, okay? This looks like Philadelphia after a Super Bowl or any day. Do you know how many smoke bombs you have to set off to overpower cigarette smoke in Serbia? That is an abandonment of decorum, okay?

Okay, let me give you some international perspective, okay? Watch what happened in Serbia's parliament yesterday, right? Look at this. There's smoke bombs, okay? This looks like Philadelphia after a Super Bowl or any day. Do you know how many smoke bombs you have to set off to overpower cigarette smoke in Serbia? That is an abandonment of decorum, okay?

Especially in Serbia, a country where 80% of the men work as bouncers, okay? How about Taiwan, okay? Longtime democracy, polite Asian country. Look at their parliament last month. Here they are politely barricading each other with chairs in a complete disregard for feng shui. It's like Taiwan...

Especially in Serbia, a country where 80% of the men work as bouncers, okay? How about Taiwan, okay? Longtime democracy, polite Asian country. Look at their parliament last month. Here they are politely barricading each other with chairs in a complete disregard for feng shui. It's like Taiwan...

It's like, hey, Taiwan Parliament, how about you stop fighting and come over and help me move my apartment, all right? I only have three chairs. It would take no time. All right, you know, I get your point. All right, well, too bad, because I'm not done, okay? Look at Italy, okay? Look at this. I don't even know why they're fighting. It's probably because someone voted to add pineapple on pizza.

It's like, hey, Taiwan Parliament, how about you stop fighting and come over and help me move my apartment, all right? I only have three chairs. It would take no time. All right, you know, I get your point. All right, well, too bad, because I'm not done, okay? Look at Italy, okay? Look at this. I don't even know why they're fighting. It's probably because someone voted to add pineapple on pizza.

I don't know. And look, how about the country of Georgia, all right? It's normal, normal. Oh, don't put your face! Someone got punched in the face. That guy just really snuck up on you coming in from the front like that in a well-lit room.

I don't know. And look, how about the country of Georgia, all right? It's normal, normal. Oh, don't put your face! Someone got punched in the face. That guy just really snuck up on you coming in from the front like that in a well-lit room.

No, I'm saying I'm saying we should also be doing that. All right. Yeah. Yeah. America, if you're going to get rowdy, don't half-ass it with like a little whiteboard, okay? Congress should have looked like Walmart on Black Friday or Philadelphia on any day. But Ronnie, if we do that, Congress won't get anything done. They already don't get anything done. You might as well start a Royal Rumble.

No, I'm saying I'm saying we should also be doing that. All right. Yeah. Yeah. America, if you're going to get rowdy, don't half-ass it with like a little whiteboard, okay? Congress should have looked like Walmart on Black Friday or Philadelphia on any day. But Ronnie, if we do that, Congress won't get anything done. They already don't get anything done. You might as well start a Royal Rumble.

Which reminds me, I better get out of here, okay? Estonia has an agricultural committee meeting on pay-per-view.

Which reminds me, I better get out of here, okay? Estonia has an agricultural committee meeting on pay-per-view.

Thank you, thank you all so very much. As the hottest year in recorded history, our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet just to be able to find snow.

Thank you, thank you all so very much. As the hottest year in recorded history, our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet just to be able to find snow.

We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow, and when she gives birth, we steal her baby, even though her cries of anguish are unmistakable. and then we take her milk that's intended for her calf, and we put it in our coffee and our cereal.

We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow, and when she gives birth, we steal her baby, even though her cries of anguish are unmistakable. and then we take her milk that's intended for her calf, and we put it in our coffee and our cereal.

Ronnie.

Ronnie.