Rosebud Baker
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Yeah, no, I guess I left something on the table there.
saw what I did. Yeah, no, I should have thought of that. I really should have.
Yeah, a lot of blood, so. Yeah, we saved the people. Kind of pulse focus. Totally. Plus, you don't want the baby to upstage you. Right, yeah. What's important is that the spotlight stays on me. That's exactly right.
Yeah, I just, I wasn't sure. I was someone who wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not. And I kind of tortured myself with the decision. And I also wasn't sure that I had an hour that I could confidently put out. So... It was, you know, necessity is the mother of invention type of a situation.
But also, I just, when I watch it now, I think of, like, my child-free self and how I wished that I had something like that to watch so that I didn't have to torture myself. Something that was, like, really, really honest about what it took to get pregnant, even. Because, you know, they tell you... Just like if you're not double condom, you know, everything, your life is over.
And you can get pregnant like one day a month, you know? Right. Yeah. Like upside down. Which is how you did it. Yeah, which is how I prefer to do it.
How long do things stay on the internet? Oh, no one will catch it. No, no, I don't regret it at all. I mean, listen, every day, it's like, I've definitely changed, you know? I was a huge bitch before, and now it's worse. Yeah.
So I can say that. Yeah. You know. But no, I don't regret it.
I honestly... I think that the whole notion that women, like, are soft or that they're not on their game, I don't think motherhood does that to women. I think bad husbands do that to women. Yeah. I think... I think bad husbands are the problem.
Yeah, so my husband and I are both recovering alcoholics. I'm ADD, he's depressed. I think comedy's like the least of her worries. She's good. Yeah, it pains me to say this, but it might be the best case scenario for her.
Therapy's helpful. It's like, you know, you know what's better than laughter is medicine. Yes. You know, I mean, I feel like Patch Adams was goofy, but he still gave those kids chemo. Yeah.
I'm asking for a friend. Well, it's helpful that they pay me. Yes, that does come in handy. But I will say that this is a good tip. Just focusing on yourself, breathing. When I go into work, I'll just take a deep breath, I'll center myself, and then I'll just kick one pigeon as far as I can.
Kick a pigeon.
We have tomatoes. We have, um, how do you say it again? Cucumber. Cucumbers. What? Whoa. How do you say cucumber? Whoa. You grew up in Massachusetts. Whoa.
You live in LA now, by the way?
You still, okay, all right. Yeah, I'm born and raised.
I just did the punchline in Atlanta. Oh, nice.
That was rough, yeah.
They were fucking getting up to go do coke in the bathroom during the show. Wow. You hear that dumb diner register? Because they told me. They were telling me, which is shocking. But I was like, I made a joke about, are you guys going to do coke? And they were like, yeah. And then I started to notice. I was like, oh, they for real are doing coke in the bathroom. Which is a crazy way to do it.
I'd rather do a Thursday than a Sunday, though.
They have young uglies?
I've never been to Claremont, but I have wanted to go.
And they have them stripping.
It's like Magic Mike meets Pink Concert.
That's fine. Where is that, Atlanta?
He loves being called that, too.
I already spoke to him today. Uh-oh. Oh, y'all got the same gay consultant?
Mateo's a hilarious comic.
Wait, hold on a second.
We're filming a podcast right now. We're filming a podcast. Hey! I'm here with Miss Pat and Mark and, oh, sorry. I know him.
They are real. No. What did he say? Are constellations real?
Oh, yes. Yes, they're real. They're absolutely real.
Nick, I don't have time for this. That's ridiculous.
We're like, hey, is this gay if you... Yeah, actually, we're about to ask something just as ridiculous, but Sam put water on the... Why don't you say it?
And constellations are real. Okay. Why y'all got to call them constellations?
That answered that.
That was so fucking pathetic that we're all doing a podcast at the same time.
Just a whole group of unemployable people.
Is scissoring real? She said, I don't go looking.
They all fuck each other's exes. Oh, wow.
Yeah, no, it does. That feels different.
Come on, you and I.
You went to private school?
Oh, okay. Can't you tell how sheltered he is? You went to private school. I did. Yeah. Your whole life?
I would have guessed Norman was public school.
What was the problem?
That's so funny. She's committing.
You guys should have gotten Glenn Close for this.
Glenn Close was in that recent movie. Oh, the white woman, the white woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know anyone who's like a person of color that calls themselves like a POC.
That's a good way to... I mean, that would have been the people a day back. That was your people.
yeah well uh that's like who was my people king tuck he was probably kidding in new york my people she was foreign she was like drunk enough that she just sort of let it huh what's the people over there african name what's the african people the kings and queens what african people nubian jazz what's the king over there in africa yeah black panther
We never said that. Did you say that?
Really? Where were you raised?
I know that. I can already see the clip from this podcast. It's just multiple takes of Ms. Scott giving you a look.
oh even lovemaking i don't like just i don't like a lot of sweat on some not necessarily when it comes to sex it's a different thing but when just in the workplace yeah it's really sweaty it annoys me i hear you it feels like you get a handle on yourself you really some people can't i know some people just over press bars or whatever it is i'm like whatever your problem is get fix it
That's really wild.
Oh, my God. That's going to be my kid.
You got to lock it. What are you doing?
Oh my God, I'd have beat the shit out of him. My kid's going to end up like that, though.
I'm scared because she's already like, she runs off and is moving really quickly and just won't mind her own business.
yeah gary though yeah has she interrupted sex life yet no they don't have sex no yeah no but she actually stays like she's like she has her own room which is nice um but for a while there we were like this is fucked we're fucking in the same room as our kid wow yeah well you fucked in that same room together
Well, she couldn't even, she didn't, like, know she has hands. Right, right. She was, like, not even.
She's learning to talk. Her first sounds did sound like Forrest Gump, you know, like when his mom was fucking the principal.
It's not really that I was that concerned about what it would do for her. It was like it was just in the back of my mind like she's in here. You know what I mean? Like, it messes with it.
Government cheese, fools.
All that shit went to work.
Medicaid titties is a great title for something. Yeah, that's true.
Is it autism or is he just white?
I'm just curious, were bottles of lube, does that count as evidence?
It's for my car. Huh? He's like, it's for my car.
They were doing that at the Creek in the Cave when I first moved to New York. Wow. Doing what? They were doing like KY Jelly Wrestling in the basement at the Creek in the Cave when I first moved here.
This is before comedy.
Or he's just got a Costco membership. That too. He buys in bulk.
But human trafficking is when you get the sex workers to recruit more sex workers, right? It's like once it once it goes. So why is it not a job?
That's a good question. In this world where a man just randomly runs up and fucking bites your tit, you're...
I mean, look up why this is bad. Is this something you don't want? I think that's the thing that makes it a salt.
I mean... Because if you're yanking your titty back, then it's a salt.
Is that Drew Barrymore?
Well, that's a rookie move.
I've watched enough.
Yeah, because I just finished my tour. I just shot my special last night. Whoa! Yay! Yeah. Who are you shooting for? Netflix.
That's exciting. Yeah. Yeah. It was fucking great. It was here in New York? If it's as good as it felt, I'm happy.
Was it here in New York? Yeah. It was Village Underground.
I did do two. The concept was that I was going to shoot half of it pregnant and the other half a year after I had my kid. And now I'm looking at it and I'm going, I don't know if I need the first half. I think I like the hour that I wrote as it is. I don't really want to fuck with it.
we'll see i'm like i got a great editor and i said if you can make it work great and if you can't then drop the first hour leave the second and we'll use whatever footage from that we can it's very unique i don't think i've ever seen anything like that you could also use the pregnancy stuff and like the credits or something that's what i'm saying i'm like let's not force it you know like a chopped up you know i don't want somebody to go well it was good it was like a good idea i
Right. That's a fucking nightmare.
The weirdest QAnon conspiracy I've ever heard.
I like Man in the Boat. That's fun.
I chose not to breastfeed. I decided not to. Really? Yeah.
I just didn't want to do it.
I was like, it's too much. It's like every three hours for like an hour. It's a full job.
I was like, I got to go back to work.
No, you only pump if you if you breastfeed. Oh, you don't breastfeed and you take Benadryl for five days in a row. All your milk dries up. I read it on Reddit. I just I found a hack and I was like, I'm just going to dry it all up because I'm not doing this.
Yeah, you gotta work.
You got a C-section? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah? I liked it. I found it very relaxing.
Right. Yeah, it's tough. I mean, I chose it. I was like, I don't want to do it the other way. So it was like scheduled and everything. I didn't have to like go through labor.
I was like, I don't trust it. I feel like everything's going to fall out. Is your husband white? Yeah.