Roy Wood Jr.

Wait, who the f*** is Chloe? Just... His wife is standing right there. He's just making up new family members. And she does not look happy, okay? I don't know about the Panama Canal, but tonight the Slovenian Canal is closed. Look, it wasn't all partying and disrespecting his wife, OK? He also did some work. Like, actually, a lot of work. Yesterday, that dude signed over 100 executive actions.

Wait, who the f*** is Chloe? Just... His wife is standing right there. He's just making up new family members. And she does not look happy, okay? I don't know about the Panama Canal, but tonight the Slovenian Canal is closed. Look, it wasn't all partying and disrespecting his wife, OK? He also did some work. Like, actually, a lot of work. Yesterday, that dude signed over 100 executive actions.

I mean, look at that. He froze the federal hiring bill, something about genders. Then he said Cuba's a state-sponsored terrorist now. He renamed a mountain. Dishwashers are less efficient. What, he can do that? Look, he had so many executive actions, they had to, like, scroll through the tracks like it was an ad for, like, now that's what I call MAGA.

I mean, look at that. He froze the federal hiring bill, something about genders. Then he said Cuba's a state-sponsored terrorist now. He renamed a mountain. Dishwashers are less efficient. What, he can do that? Look, he had so many executive actions, they had to, like, scroll through the tracks like it was an ad for, like, now that's what I call MAGA.

And being the showman that he was, Trump wasn't going to sign these behind a desk with a pen and paper like a nerd, okay? No, he turned this into an arena show.

And being the showman that he was, Trump wasn't going to sign these behind a desk with a pen and paper like a nerd, okay? No, he turned this into an arena show.

Wow. Whoever caught that pen is so lucky. I mean, that is going to be such a cool thing for those guys to show their kids once they get their visitation rights back. And even after he got back to the White House, he just kept signing. I mean, this guy was so in the zone, he didn't even know what he was signing.

Wow. Whoever caught that pen is so lucky. I mean, that is going to be such a cool thing for those guys to show their kids once they get their visitation rights back. And even after he got back to the White House, he just kept signing. I mean, this guy was so in the zone, he didn't even know what he was signing.

Ooh. He's withdrawing from the World Health Organization like he's hearing the dessert options. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll have the tiramisu and potential measles outbreak with that. I mean, if you could put anything in front of him yesterday, he would have signed it. Melania, now's your chance to update the prenup. Go, go, go, go. But you know... But you know what?

Ooh. He's withdrawing from the World Health Organization like he's hearing the dessert options. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll have the tiramisu and potential measles outbreak with that. I mean, if you could put anything in front of him yesterday, he would have signed it. Melania, now's your chance to update the prenup. Go, go, go, go. But you know... But you know what?

I'm not going to be shitting on President Trump, okay? Okay, sure, he pulled out of the WHO. Who are those guys? What are the odds there's ever going to be a pandemic requiring global cooperation? So I'm going to go to President Trump with an open mind. You know, he won the election, which means he's a great guy who's right. So I'm sure his executive orders are reasonable.

I'm not going to be shitting on President Trump, okay? Okay, sure, he pulled out of the WHO. Who are those guys? What are the odds there's ever going to be a pandemic requiring global cooperation? So I'm going to go to President Trump with an open mind. You know, he won the election, which means he's a great guy who's right. So I'm sure his executive orders are reasonable.

Okay, okay, look, he... I know that sounds bad for these woke liberals, but, like, does it really matter? You know, one year we're in, next year we're out. We've been doing the hokey pokey with these guys for, like, 12 years. They don't even put us in a group chat anymore, okay? Also, news flash, Paris Accord, yo, we're not going to reach the emission goals anyway, okay? This world is over.

Okay, okay, look, he... I know that sounds bad for these woke liberals, but, like, does it really matter? You know, one year we're in, next year we're out. We've been doing the hokey pokey with these guys for, like, 12 years. They don't even put us in a group chat anymore, okay? Also, news flash, Paris Accord, yo, we're not going to reach the emission goals anyway, okay? This world is over.

It's just an excuse to go to Paris, which overrated, okay? So, fine, he's taking us out of anything that involves the rest of the world, okay? I'm sure there's other executive orders that aren't any worse.

It's just an excuse to go to Paris, which overrated, okay? So, fine, he's taking us out of anything that involves the rest of the world, okay? I'm sure there's other executive orders that aren't any worse.

Yo, he brought back TikTok. Just as my brain was regaining its higher order functions. I mean, oh my God, that was close. Now, if you remember, TikTok was originally banned because everyone thinks it gives China too much influence over Americans. And to be fair, before I started using TikTok, I was a white guy from Iowa, okay? But the point... The point is, the people have spoken, okay?

Yo, he brought back TikTok. Just as my brain was regaining its higher order functions. I mean, oh my God, that was close. Now, if you remember, TikTok was originally banned because everyone thinks it gives China too much influence over Americans. And to be fair, before I started using TikTok, I was a white guy from Iowa, okay? But the point... The point is, the people have spoken, okay?

We want China to change our brains. What absolute idiot even thought of banning it in the first place? We're looking at TikTok. We may be banning TikTok. Okay. Yeah, thank you, President Trump, for saving us from that guy. What I'm saying is, all these executive orders aren't bad, okay? I mean, what else is he doing?

We want China to change our brains. What absolute idiot even thought of banning it in the first place? We're looking at TikTok. We may be banning TikTok. Okay. Yeah, thank you, President Trump, for saving us from that guy. What I'm saying is, all these executive orders aren't bad, okay? I mean, what else is he doing?