Russell Crowe

Oh, wow.

So I'd have to go out.

People had been listening to these old classic 1950s songs all night, and now there's some young pimply bloke in front of them singing bullshit.

They're like, what are you doing?

But it was a real baptism of fire.

He also...

had me tour with them.

So we would be on Thursday, Friday, Saturday in Auckland, in the big city.

And then Sunday through Wednesday, we're in a truck and a car and everything, and we're touring.

We're going playing in these other pubs and stuff.

And he fancied himself, you see, because it's all an anachronistic thing.

His whole life, this guy that I was working for, was about the 1950s.

He wore blue suede shoes or winkle pickers, stovepipe trousers, drape coats.

He had a Cadillac, probably the only Cadillac in New Zealand at the time.

And he had this thing about, like, Elvis used to have a comedian opening for him, so somebody should go out and tell jokes before I come on, right?

And so part of my job was to walk out and tell a joke that he had told me to tell.

I couldn't make up my own material.

And these jokes were fucking terrible.

They were just trash and trying to make that thing work.

And one night I said to him, why don't you let me just go out and say something actually funny or whatever?