Russell Howard
Appearances
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Okay, okay.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Things evolve, my friend. We need a new word specifically for the podcast so that we can get through it. How about... Sockball?
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
That's a really good point, actually, isn't it? Because it means we don't have to wait to the quarterfinals for those kind of red-hot games. So the fact that Liverpool, like, we've got Real Madrid, so already I'm so excited. The idea that Bellingham and Mbappe, Vinicius Jr., I'll get to see them live. I met Bellingham. How cool is this, right? Okay. It was such an insane moment.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
He saw me at Heathrow Airport and he asked me for a photo because when he was young, he was a fan of my TV show. And it just blew my mind. But my phone was going through the security. So I didn't get the opportunity to also have my photo with Jude Bellingham. So I told my friends and none of them believed me.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Yeah, but it was, you know, one of those moments where you meet somebody so impressive and it just happens in a kind of a blur. And I kind of got very formal. And when I met his mom, I was like, you know, I think I said... Mrs. Bellingham, lovely to meet you. I think I did. I went, Mrs. Bellingham, your son is an absolutely phenomenal footballer. You should be very proud.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
I kind of, maybe that's what ruined it. Maybe he was like, I think he's cracking on to my mum, which I wasn't in any way. Any footballer who would you like to meet?
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
It would be weird. He's a terrifying guy. He's really funny as well. And he also has the look of a man who could break into a zoo and fight a gorilla. Do you know what I mean, Blake?
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Again, it's a challenge. So we need to get a photo from Jude Bellingham and we need to find a way Zlatan, he's not busy, he's not playing. Let's get him into a zoo. Let's get the right gorilla and let's make that happen.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Do you know, I've never thought about the locks before. Of my nation. But you're right. I think Italian men have the best hair.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
That's what the English are known for. We have bad teeth. But is it our hair as well? Is that what America thinks of us? That we have bad hair? Jack Grealish.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Yeah, he's probably fair. I was just thinking that some of our great footballers, except for Beckham, do look like they were kind of something happened in the laboratory with a potato. From SmartList Media, Meadowlark, Sirius, and Paramount+, listen to Goalless wherever you get your podcasts. The first episode premieres on September the 19th.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
And I'm Russell Howard, a stand-up comedian from Great Britain. Welcome to Goalless. Of all the unimportant things in life, we're here for the most important, football.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Istanbul! Istanbul! For the best goals to the funniest player trolls, disastrous decisions to disastrous haircuts, Goalless is your new favorite football show by fans for fans.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So I do love it, and it's so lush, and it's so green, and the people, there's a real, I don't know, it does have a different culture than we have, but it was just a delight.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Then I grew up, I spent 13 years in Arizona, and then Colorado. And then my parents moved to Texas. So I moved around a lot.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And probably that I dated a hockey player for half a second from Colorado. That's probably what you remember.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So I was a dancer in – like with all my little dance friends in Colorado, you know, like –
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
pre-teen teenage years and that was my sport and that's all I did and a bunch of my friends went to like a giant casting call and we stood outside of like the Denver Convention Center with thousands of little kids and their moms or something and we just stood in line some dude like said hey do you want to read a little script of a mermaid brushing your teeth with chocolate or something
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I wanted to, I mean, I don't think I knew what it really was. I just went with a bunch of my... best friends, pals who were, you know, going. And they're like, let's go do this thing. And by the way, I can't sing. I had never really been an actor. And so they said, do a little dance, like do a skit and sing a little song.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And because I think they wanted kids who weren't so, yeah, they didn't like it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well... I think, well, number one, I don't work all the time. I like long breaks, and I spend a ton of time on my own. I like to be alone a lot. I have amazing friends. I have a group of core friends that I love, and we do stuff all the time. But other than that, I work. I have a ton of downtime. So, for instance, The Diplomat.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm not going off to do tons of movies in between or on a Broadway show or something. I don't. That's my time to just be home and, like, wander and read books. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what keeps me sane.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Teenage years. Yeah, teenage years. And this seriously is the truth. Whenever the girls looked like they were having sex, they were like, get that one out of here. And the boys stayed until they were like 25. They're like, that one, she's out.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
She looks like a breeder. Get her out. Yeah, she looks like a breeder. Yeah, get her out.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, but it was so fun. I mean, it was so cheesy looking back, but it was so fun.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, I mean, from that, like, because you're under this old school, like, Disney contract, I had to do some movie, like the sequel, Honey, I Blew Up the Kid, which was a sequel to Honey, I Blew Up the Kid.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know, it was like the old school system, like, we hired you under this umbrella, so if you record an album, if you make a movie, like, you are ours, you know?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know, like the kids now. Like all those... American Idol kids and whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever all those new Disney shows are.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
First of all, the reason the show was so good was what JJ and Matt did. It was so sweet. It was like such a sweet little something of a show. And it was their writing that was so good. But yeah, for... Luckily, I can't imagine the kids now with all of the social media. Back then, it was just occasional paparazzi weirdos. But yeah, I am sort of a nervous person anyway around people I don't know.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I mean, people were generally pretty nice to me, but I just think if you're an anxious person, it doesn't help like, yeah, having more people looking at you all the time. So I think that was something to sort of navigate a little bit. Um, but then it all worked out because after that show ended, I took a big break and I didn't, um, act anymore.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I thought I was going to go back to – or go to school because I hadn't gone to school. Because I graduated early from high school because I was on the Mickey Mouse Club.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. Because when you're on the Mickey Mouse Club, like if you're a kid, you're tutored on set so you can finish as quickly as you can. Same with Mr. Bateman. Yeah, we know about that.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, so doing that show, that was back in the old days when we would do 22 episodes. Now, you know, the nature of television tends to be like eight or 13 episodes, but we were still doing network, 22 episodes. Especially back then, we were working, because Matt Reeves was one of our first directors and set up the show, we were shooting it like film. We were shooting on film in the beginning.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Really? Yeah. Shooting on film? Yeah. We were working 18-hour days, five days a week. So my Friday as a 21-year-old would end about 5 in the morning, and then I would start again at 5 on Monday. Wow. I loved that job, and it was great, and I'm so thankful. I'm still really close with a few of those people. But in many ways, it was life-arresting.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Like, I wanted to, you know, be with girlfriends and, you know, whatever, kiss boys, or, you know, like, do simple, stupid things that I knew I was sort of missing. So when it ended... I had no time to spend any money or do any of that. So I took the money I had saved and rented this amazing apartment, one bedroom apartment in the village, which was really great still back then.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I had no furniture. I moved to New York with two giant boxes of books. I got mattresses. I put them on the floor and I did all those things I wanted to do. I had to...
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
really great girlfriends there and we would go out dancing and get drunk and like walk home drunk in the snow and we would watch The Bachelorette and eat shitty food and like I mean it was it was everything I wanted it to be and I got to just fucking be a kid and yeah that's great and I think that's what I wanted did you end up going to school uh I didn't so I thought that's what I was gonna do and that's probably what I should have done I still think about it um but I think I just sort of
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
did it myself. Like I just read what I wanted to read about and, and took all that time off. I took, I think a couple of years and then just slowly started inching my way back in. You know, I took a job where I wasn't the lead. I took, I was like a part of a family. And actually we shot in London with Mike Binder and I was just a part of these sisters and Joan Allen was the lead.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. And I was like, you know, she's cool and smart and classy. And if I can watch her, if she's managing her life okay, you know, maybe it's possible. And she was. And so then I slowly dipped back in.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, God, I don't know. I think I just wanted to learn. I think I wanted to just go to school. I think I'm interested in every—I feel like I could do lots of things. Right. You know, I'm curious, you know, but I'm generally agreeable. You know, I'm curious about a lot.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Wait, wait, Jason, wait. Have you read, because I actually, speaking of the creepy kid actors, which by the way, all kid actors, the whole thing is so creepy. But there's this amazing book that someone gave me, which I loved. Are you familiar with Sarah Pauly at all?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Now she's a director, but, you know, kid actor. She wrote this book called Run Towards the Danger, which is a collection of stories. And it's sort of unraveling her time and the kind of understanding what that was all like. Of being a kid actor. Yeah. And a lot of other things.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But I do think it affects you and speaks probably to a little bit of what Will is saying, like what he's seeing as like work ethic. But I just think when you're a kid actor, you know, you have to show up.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You're not allowed to have the flu. Right. You're not allowed to... Yeah. You fucking show up and you do it and you, you know, you don't complain.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I wake up in the morning and I do something immediately. You know, I do hopefully like something outside, even if it's cold, some kind of physical activity really helps me. Even if I'm, you know, sometimes it just overtakes and you're like, fuck it, here I am. You know what really helped me?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
One of the first times, this is absolutely true, right at the beginning of Felicity Times, before I had ever had to do any of that stuff, I had to go on a talk show. My first talk show was, Rosie O'Donnell had a talk show back then. I think it was like a daytime talk show. Yeah, it was. I had never done anything like that. I kind of am a nervous person in that situation anyway. Oh, wow.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And it's like, it's a lot of energy coming toward you and the stage and all the people and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah. I got back there and the stage manager is like, come over here, come over here. And I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh, it's overtaking me. Here it comes. And the stage manager must have told Rosie O'Donnell, who was so lovely, like she's nervous.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So she came back and was like, hey, are you nervous? And I was like, oh, no, no. And so I went out. This is really absolutely true. I went out. She was being completely nice. But as I was answering questions going, yes, I'm from Colorado, a tear rolled.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I watched the interview. I'm smiling, and I just gently wipe it away. I'm from Colorado. I'm having a full panic. I go back to the hotel, which was, you know, they flew you to New York and did the whole thing. And I locked myself in the bathroom, and I was just mortified that I had done such a bad job and was so embarrassed. Wow. and beating up on myself.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And my awesome friend, Canadian friend, Will Arnett would love, we had gone out for drinks after or like maybe the next day. And I remember Alana said, I said, oh my God, I did such a bad job on this thing. You know, I was so bad. And she said, you know who I just saw on David Letterman? Kim Basinger was on David Letterman. And she was so nervous.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I remember I liked her so much because I thought I would be nervous on that thing, too. It's very real. It made me, like, stop hating the nervousness about myself so much. And I went, I'm nervous. Like, what are you going to fucking do? Yeah. And people who are like so – no offense to everyone who's so funny and – but, you know, because you guys are all so good at it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I mean, I know it's a way of life, but can you imagine? Yeah. Sending your kids?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, The Americans was just a... The writing was so... I have to say, even in the beginning, it was a slow burn. It was, you know, I really think the show became good about episode five in the first season. And then it started becoming this other thing, which was really this dark... kind of unravel of a marriage.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I always thought the spy stuff was just a way to push and pull the marriage, like sleeping with other people.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, I didn't know. I was like, first of all, why do you want me like to play this like tough Russian spy? What? Don't you want like Rocky's wife, that like lady with the short blonde hair? Yeah. I'm like, me? What the fuck? I was like, oh, God. That's hysterical.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It saved my life. It really did. So that was just lucky. Total luck just getting to do that show and then meeting Matthew and all of that. That was just good writing. So fun to be a part of something that was well-received. And then I took another long break. I feel like... That's what keeps me in it is I go in and out.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I take little pockets where then I'm just home doing laundry and, you know, seeing my friends and taking the kids to school.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
We had met, which he reminded me about, which I don't know if he told you guys on the show.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. We had gone to fight training or something in the first week. Well, you know, we screen tested everything, blah, blah, blah, did the fight training. And so I'd known him just like that, you know. And then we were having lunch after doing some kind of crazy fight training. And he said, we've met before. And I said, no. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah, we have.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And he said, we, you know, we were at that kickball party in Rustic Canyon. Yes. We were the last people at the barbecue or whatever. And I was trying to get you to stay. And so I was trying to open a beer without a beer. He tried to do it with his thumb. And I knew exactly. I said, oh, my God. God, of course I remember you left a drunk message on my machine. And I was moving to New York that day.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And so it had been 10 years had passed. And then, yeah, and then game was on.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Who knows, Sean? Okay, I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. No, you don't have to answer.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Number one, you know, I don't ever want to go back to my 20s. I'm not saying... There are certain things about our bodies now as they're aging, but I like who I am so much more now. I look at my girlfriends, I think they are so beautiful now. I don't ever want to go back to 20s. I love our age now. And I think in our 30s or when I met him again,
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
which would have been in my mid-30s or about then, I just was a different person. You know what I mean? I was... And I wanted something different.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, JJ never wanted me to reveal my face. I never wanted to reveal the face. And then at a certain point, I think it was the studio or someone said, you have to show her face. And JJ was like, no, it's my whole idea. It's like, it was like that girl. There was some cartoon with a girl on a motorcycle from when he was a kid who always had a helmet on.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And then he was like, well, what if we just show her eyes? And so that was, but I think they wanted me to take the helmet off and
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It's so stupid and crazy and nuts and Margo Martindale is... I mean, you guys, what she did, it's ridiculous and wild, and it was just an antidote to COVID and everyone being stuck in their houses.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, she just called me. She was pitching me this completely other... legit serious really good idea for this limited series and um you know we're just on with these writers and having these serious conversations and then text me the next day just says hey um or i've got this do you I'm talking this crazy movie called Cocaine Bear. Do you want to read it? I was like, sure.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I told my girlfriends, I have these few girlfriends in New York here, and I was up in the mountains with them. And they said, I told them, I pitched them the idea for the story. And they said, if you don't do that movie, we're not going to be friends with you anymore.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And it was so fun. Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Margo Martindale, and I traipsing around Ireland out of control. We were out of control having the time of our lives. Why did you guys shoot in Ireland?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Because the COVID numbers were down. Right. And because it's an island, I guess. And because it's a good match for that forest we were looking for.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
When I read Cocaine Bear, that next day, she texted me, and it just says Margot, and she says, are you fucking doing this movie? I was like, are you fucking doing this movie?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm going to—we made our first—it's kind of chilly here in New York this morning, right? Yes. So, we made our first fire, and it was nice.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
My kids start school for the first day tomorrow, so I'm going to make a nice dinner, family dinner, early dinner for everyone, early to bed.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
We could have you. We could have you. We could have you. There's great restaurants.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
We will. I would love to see you. We have chance encounters from mutual people, satellite people, but I would love to see you. Okay.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Please, please, please. Please do. Please. I won't hesitate. I would love, love, love it. Okay. Bye, guys. Thank you. Bye. Thanks, Carrie. Bye, Stacey. Bye.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Hi. So nice to see you. It is so nice to see you. So nice to see all of you.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I just got home. I've been filming in London and I just got home just a few days ago. So I'm home getting kids ready for school. My teenagers helped me set all this stuff up. Oh, they did?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm jet lagged, but I really love the early mornings. So even though I'm still getting up at four, it's like such a quiet time in my house. So I love just like pitter-pottering around.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It was that. Well, no, she's like a really intense teacher. She did like Al Pacino and stuff like that, right?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Good crazy. It was behind in her house. Not Venice, but like kind of adjacent Venice, right?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I have no idea. Maybe a movie or something that, I don't know. I mean, I did it like once or twice, probably.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, so it was probably like just once or twice because a friend of mine was going, anyway. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So I've spent the past three summers filming there, which I know is, you know, a little bit of a unique existence. Like, you have a nice place to live, you know, you're working, you have a job. So there are a lot of things... That are extra nice, you know? It's not like you're... But it is... London in the summer is a delight. I mean, it is so, like, breathtakingly beautiful.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I tend to live north and, like, by the heath. And I wake up early morning and I just walk through the heath.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And we've... I've loved it. I've really, really loved it. And actually... I don't think – well, I don't know. I don't think I'm telling tales out of school. But my last week there, we had this – so I'm on this show called The Diplomat, and it's about the ambassador in London who's – I'm friends with the real one, Ambassador Jane Hartley, who's just – Wow.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
amazing and smart and cool. And the last week she said, we were like, let's go to dinner before I leave. And so we went to the River Cafe and that great actor, fuck, what's his name? On the Bear, who plays the cousin, Eben.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Eben joined us and we just had this, like, it was just such a fun, raucous dinner. And Rufus Sewell, who's on my show too. And it's just full of love. everyone who was, everyone was at this restaurant that night. It was like one of those magic, wild moments. And so I love London.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I don't know because I wonder if it's, you know, I love coming back here too. You know, fall in New York is so good. And I ride my bike everywhere. Are you in New York now?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
They like it. I mean, but they've kind of, like you guys probably, you know, they travel wherever we work. Right, yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I really love it. I really love it. But I have to say, you know, we shot there. When the strike happened, we had to make up for things, so we shot there over the winter. And it's different in the winter. Because New York in the winter, even if it's snowing or it's freezing, it can be sunny and it's bracing and you can still ride your bike. London's just gray all winter. But it's raining every day.
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I don't know. I honestly don't know. Because I only saw the poster of it when I was in LA and I was like...
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shit is that our robin and he's a monkey now okay you know and so it was but because of the you know the backdrop of horror that was going on in la it just i didn't sort of linger on that but it was kind of in amongst the sort of black smoke i saw that i was like fuck that's odd but yeah i i haven't uh i haven't kind of sat and thought about it but it would be like you know when john oliver got his break to do the daily show if he he came as an animal
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on this episode of The Commercial Break. It says a lot about kind of like male ego that I was kind of delighted. Like as in, like I just can't imagine a world in which like people going off. Is there a girl you fancy but you feel fucking awful?
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The thing is, if you're trying to break America, you have to then stay as the animal. Americans are dumb. If you start off as a chimpanzee, we're going to be confused. I don't know. I think if anyone introduced themselves as a monkey and then went, I'm only fucking around. I'm a singer from Manchester. Then I think the audience is allowed to go, okay, why? Why? Yeah, I don't know.
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But I was surprised how big the posters were because... Yes, they're huge. But it's a bit like, you know, Seinfeld isn't particularly big in the UK. It's just never quite translated, which is mind-blowing to, you know, Americans. But that culture of kind of sitting in cafes talking about cereal, that didn't exist in the 90s.
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You know, and obviously people, loads of people are into it, but it isn't the... it just doesn't have the same resonance, you know, in the way that something like Friends, Friends was massive, you know, or there was a show in the UK called Only Fools and Horses, which is without doubt the biggest British sitcom of all time.
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And yet nobody, well, that's it. But you've got to, you know what I mean?
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As an American, you have to find it. You have to understand what, what does Peckham mean? Like, how does it fit here? You know? So it's, I don't know that it's, it's, it's an interesting thing for Robbie Williams, but then he does like stadiums in the UK. He's so big that he probably just was like, I'll be a bit fun. Bit of a laugh.
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A lion would be funny because the look of fear in the audience. Do you know what I mean? But then when the lion starts doing ballads, that must be really bewildering.
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It's horrific. It was just, you know, and it's still going on. So it was just, it was like just this, I was, I was only there for two days, but it, you know, it suddenly became this, you know, it just disaster. And then I was flying from LA to New York to do the rest of the kind of PR and, you know, there was black smoke and there were people crying on the plane.
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It was, it was really heavy and awful and it's still going on. It's just, you know, it's, these things that happen every so often that are just unfair and cruel.
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for admitting it you know what i mean that's the thing that would be but that would be that would make the press like if people were saying that they so yeah i was kind of i was uh essentially the nation's pity fuck that's kind of what i was the next episode of the commercial break starts now
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I love it because it's kind of like the gigs aren't as big as the ones, you know, not dissimilar to Robbie. I don't put on the Simeon suit, but I kind of, you know, I cover my own skin and there's a better way of putting it than that. But I kind of, I... I'm used to doing certain rooms in kind of, you know, in the UK and Australia and Europe, but... Big rooms.
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Yeah, but still, you know, it's still that thing of like doing kind of, you know, a 500-seater, a 1,000-seater is still wild and so exciting. So... And the electricity. We did a gig in Detroit last time I was there. It was like a 400-seater.
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And, oh, my God. But the audience, it was just... It was so electric in a way that British audiences can be kind of quite tough. They kind of, you know, sort of fold the arms and you sort of know you've got them if they're kind of the tits hang free. Do you know what I mean?
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But I've always had... whether because some Americans have found me out and they're excited that I'm there, but I've always noticed the audience is more than meeting me halfway and kind of, they've seen loads of my stuff on YouTube or Netflix. So I'm amazed at how much they, they kind of know and they kind of get me. I guess it would be a bit like, I don't know,
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Michael Shea or Michelle Wolfe doing gigs in London. If they're doing Leicester Square, the audience are going to know Michelle Wolfe. They're not going to sort of stumble in. So I love it. And I kind of find it... I find it so fascinating gigging around the country. Like it's so brilliant to get that kind of street level knowledge of America. And there's so many different Americas.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's such a big country. But it is the country that the world looks to. And it's in such an interesting state of flux. Yeah, but within that is so much kind of like social commentary and sort of like interesting comedic analysis. And there's things you see, like there's things you see in America you don't see. I saw a homeless man outside a hotel for dogs.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And it was this, like, so the man had no home and the dog was on holiday. And it was this kind of amazing sort of image of decadence that this man would have a better life if he was Kim Kardashian's Labrador. And that is sad and funny and interesting. But as an English person, I've never seen a hotel for dogs before.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
so and and then and that is ludicrous enough but when you see a homeless man being moved along because that's where the dogs like to sunbathe that struck me as funny and unfair and wild and it's sort of it's a brilliant dark comedic um analysis analysis of the kind of weird disparity of wealth do you know what i mean so yes that's the point i make it's kind of
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
That is the story of America. Well, you're absolutely right. Yeah, but then it's that thing. Who wouldn't want to, you know, take part of the kind of...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
you know get on the ride so that's and and then interesting talking because essentially that's what stand-up is i've got a show but you know i might see things during the day and then being able to talk them out with the audience you kind of get this i don't know it feels like every show is kind of unique because american cities are unique like atlanta is such a different place to new york which is a very different place to detroit which is a different place to pittsburgh you know and you kind of
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
yeah i kind of it's beautiful it gives you a layer it gives you an extra layer as an english comic because you're you're on holiday and you feel like weirdly you're representing your country and you're analyzing theirs on top of all the kind of natural stand-up that i have anyway so i love it at the politics of the united states uh do you poke at the yeah i mean yeah i have to bone up on it
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I have to really, because, and by also, I'm really interested in trying to find the middle ground because it feels like so much, you know, so much has been weaponized and, and, and people are, it's so tribal and people are pitted against each other. And fundamentally, most people are, People aren't one thing or another, but they've been forced into it, whether it's politically or comedically.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You've got to be this and you've got to be into that. Whereas it's a bit like a buffer. You kind of pick and choose. There's things that I am really right wing about. There's things I'm super liberal about. And that's everybody, I think. And the brilliant thing about laughter is that it's always... it's so kind of connecting.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Like when you're kind of lost in laughter, you realize like that for me, looking at the fact that, you know, you have homeless people in a hotel for dogs, like that's interesting, irrespective of your kind of political approach. And also here's the big thing. If you voted for Trump, that doesn't define all of your personality, right?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Like, and I think that's the big thing that it's kind of, and if you vote for Biden, that doesn't define, you know what I mean? And I'm interested in moving those things away and trying to find the kind of meat of it, you know?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's because it would appear that religion has been replaced with podcasts. I think that's what's happened. I think people have put down the Bible, you know. But again, it's a really good example of like... Fair enough. Of kind of people... I think with podcasts particularly, you have such a connection with them because people will be going to work with you guys. You're in their ears.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So you're part of their... We hear it all the time. Totally. And it's a really tight, authentic, lovely connection. And I think... Like, if you don't have, you know, if society has changed, and my God, it changed during COVID, it's kind of, it's so, these become the constants, you become the constants, you're the chat, people are kind of listening to you, and it's, I don't know.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yes. Yeah. So I'm basically, my wife's a doctor and she was supposed to come on tour with me and she was having like a career break in 2020. And she had... She was off work and then COVID really kind of escalated and she kind of knew she had to go back. And two of her friends lived with elderly relatives. And this was the beginning of COVID when we didn't kind of know what it was.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It was big and scary. Big, scary, masks, didn't, you know, know what it was going to do.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So her two friends came to live at our house and then I was kind of like shipped off like an evacuee. Yeah. To go and live with my parents for kind of two months, which was a real, you know... And I got offered the chance to do my show, you know, just on a computer, on a laptop, and then kind of send it in. So we did that for two months, and... Yeah, it was great.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It was great in terms that it gave me a focus and it gave people something to kind of watch, I guess, because nothing was getting made. So there was a while where, yeah, we were kind of like the only kind of comedy show that was still being made. But it was, I'll tell you what it was, the green room was less cool.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You know, if you do a TV show, normally you kind of, you know, you go into the bar afterwards.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It was exactly that. It was like my mom and my dad, he was really into spinning, you know, bike riding at the time. So, yeah, exactly. So I'd see my dad's sweaty mantis and my mom going, do you fancy a glass of wine? So it just wasn't as...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, we kind of, I think we, yeah, that show doesn't run anymore, but we, God, we did. You do specials? We're just doing the specials. We did like, oh, how many flipping heck? Like, I think we did 10 series of it. And before that we did like eight series of a show called Russell Howard's Good News. So yeah, it was kind of, it was a long old, long old time, but I loved it.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's kind of, there's a weird, I think cause satire has kind of migrated over time. to the internet. It just isn't, the resale isn't there. So that's kind of why they don't really get made in the UK anymore. So we don't, we had an election and we had no kind of topical comedy, which is a bit of a shame.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, there's a lot of it. And what's funny is the news is so cyclical. So you can, you know, it's amazing. Yes, you're right about that. Watching clips of it and going, oh my God, how is this still happening? How did this come back around? It's so fascinating. But that's kind of where I guess I kind of cut my teeth properly.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, you can stream it through my website. So my website is www.russell.howard.co.uk. And yeah.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, I've always loved making people laugh. And my mom's very funny. And my dad is very distant. So it's kind of like the perfect combo.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You're trying to kind of, you know, stop her. You're trying to make her... You make him laugh and her not cry. So it was sort of that, really. But, yeah, I don't know. I was always... I loved school, so I was kind of, you know, I was okay academically, but I really loved...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
you know mucking around and yeah just like everyone was funny at school it just felt like it was kind of like a everyone's chipping in and I kind of loved that and kind of just grew up through that and then through I found stand-up and you're so right it's like when you find it I imagine it's how you know you guys said it's exactly the same for you and you now have um and an output for it.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's probably like being a sculptor or a musician or a filmmaker or a screenwriter or whatever it is. But you sort of, when you find that valve that you can hiss your madness out of. And that's the great thing about standup that when people laugh to me, it makes me feel like that they're going, you're not mad. It's fine. Because yes, that's right. You have, but that's all I do. I just, I kind of,
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
wander around and uh occasionally my brain will whisper to me and i kind of write it down in my phone and then i kind of go on stage and see whether it's it's interesting but i i wouldn't have it any other way it's not a particularly you know useful way to live your life but i am i think bill hicks called it the third eye yeah and it's like squeegeeing the third eye i'm pretty good at the third eye you know what i mean if like even in the midst of something i can kind of
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
sort of observe myself or kind of i remember getting mugged when i was younger and even as it was happening i was like it's gonna be pretty funny like do you know what i mean i do yeah and it's not it's not kind of you know it's not the best way to be but you're it's kind of like the eyes go slightly kind of like cloudy and you're kind of you know that kind of right
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
But, you know, I bet you it's the same with loads of people where we all kind of drift off. And then I'm fortunate that I get into this, you know, place where I can just, like, even the other day, we're on holiday in Australia, which is a brilliant country. And obviously, we've got my son with me. And there was lots of pregnant women and their partners there doing the kind of baby moon thing.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I don't know if you have that. Yeah, I've been on one. The sort of last holiday, yeah, really good fun. And I was thinking, sort of in my head going, because if you were at an adult-only resort and you were pregnant, but you gave birth...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
like would you still be allowed to stay like do you know what i mean depends on what kind of adults only uh well yeah it wasn't it wasn't a swinging thing but i'm sort of like but you know when like kids aren't welcome i was just and in my head i just started like laughing at the image of that holiday's over yeah but that's what i mean of like it's a boy get out what
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Exactly. But the point is, I was just alone in my own head. And then I just wrote it down on my phone. And it's like, I'm sure I'll go to a gig at some stage and see if I can knock that into something.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah. I used to do loads when I was younger, but I don't really like... I don't like picking on people. I've never really been into that of like kind of, you know, rinsing the front row. Like roasting doesn't really, like English people, we're mean behind each other's backs. Like we would never say.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
That's what I mean. But the roast, that culture just, I mean, it's beginning to, it's sort of slightly changing, but I kind of think sometimes there, there is a, there's a fine line between an excellent diss and just being rude to somebody.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
you know what I mean and it just it always makes me feel a bit icky if you're just if you're kind of like the high status comic who's the expert and you you know you're basically calling someone's mum a whore you know what I mean and it just feels very kind of like eh
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
whole podcast filled with people who do that yeah but it's but but I think that thing of when something happens like organically I've always been pretty good at like I was doing a show in um where was I I was I was in uh Denmark in a place called Aalborg um and I said, you know, what's been happening in Alborg? What's the latest? And this lady went, we shot two elephants. I said, what?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And I said, like, what, the Eulot or that? And she was like, no, no, no, the government. I said, why? A zoo. And she's like, why was that? And she went, well, one of the animals, one of the elephants was sick. Okay. And so the other one, like, and she was like, well, we didn't want him to be lonely. So it's so bleak.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So then that became this whole thing of like, you know, you should never work for social services. Do you know what I mean? Never, never, never work a suicide hotline. But the point is it kind of, I love it when you can make something that's happened organically, then it has to become part of the show. So yeah,
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
the whole kind of evening was interlinked with this kind of sort of knowledge of, you know, of how they dealt with problems. But I don't, I love, I love improvising within my own head and kind of trying to kind of create a bit of magic, but I just don't, I'm not into that whole kind of, you know, slamming people. I don't have, if somebody, if somebody heckles me, fine. That's one thing.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
But I don't kind of go looking for the front row. You know what I mean? Because weirdly, I went to see a comedian. And my PA, Andy, booked me the tickets. And she's lovely, but she kind of got me them. It was like the third row, right in the middle.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And it was really, but what was interesting, it was really interesting to feel that fear. Yes. Like, and I didn't want that. I was like going, God, and I'm a comedian. I know, you know, and yet in my head, I'm going, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. And I just thought it must be so awful for people. Like some people must love it.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And of course, but, but some people must be sat there just praying that they're not going to be eviscerated. So it just made me think.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
okay that's a valid form of comedy but it would kill me but I don't the thing that interests me is how do you sleep because you just at night like my brain does that anyway my brain does that you know who did I hurt what did I do wrong yeah but I'll be trying to go to sleep and my brain will remind me of some thing I did when I was 16 yes do you know what I mean like do you remember that yes I do do you remember that outside the pub yeah what a dick what an asshole yeah yeah and just it reminds you of these cringe moments
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So I can't imagine if you had a career where you were just like, remember that time? I'm pretty sure she was crying. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I already feel bad. And it's just not, I don't know. It's easy, but it's just not as interesting as trying to kind of zone in on stuff. Agreed.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, probably. I'm certainly, yeah, I'm definitely in the top.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I mean, yeah, I mean, you know, people might have faults with Joe Biden, but I can't imagine he's got a questionnaire asking people what they felt of Chappelle's last special.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, he's a great... He hasn't done stand-up for many years. But again, so clearly they've asked a lot of people in the north of England. But he was a phenomenal comedian. He was really like in his pomp. My God. Yeah, he was... He basically played the role of a...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
light entertainer who um ever his life had unraveled and he used to do like live pottery on stage this is kind of like yeah this is like the mid 90s and um he he would have a story about uh how his dad made him eat his pet rabbit it was all like really dark and he was like making pottery as he did it oh Um, yeah, so I doubt, but, but maybe, you know, maybe people had seen him live.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, he's a really, he's a really gentle soul. He's wonderful. He's really, really funny. But yeah, there's, I'm trying to think, there's a great clip of him. He did Just for Laughs, the Montreal Comedy Festival.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I think, you know, you've got to do seven minutes. They have lawyers who check your jokes, all very kind of regimented. And I think he went on and did 15 minutes. And obviously, this was before the, you know, the stories about, no, no, the stories that came out about Bill Cosby, because he kept saying, I could have been.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
the next Bill Cosby but you lot had to fucking play God and it's just this utterly bewildered Canadian audience but it's pretty legendary it's worth a spin if you want to see a great comedian going down in flames then I would recommend it
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Well, basically there's a big magazine called Heat over here, which is like a sort of a showbiz mag. And I was voted the, yeah, the weird crush. So the person that I guess women and some men fancied but felt terrible about. So it's kind of, it says a lot about kind of like male ego that I was kind of delighted with.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
But like, like as in, like, I just can't imagine a world in which like, like people going off, is there a girl you fancy, but you'd feel fucking awful for admitting it. So you know what I mean? That's the thing that would be, but that would be, that would make the press like if people were saying that they, so yeah, I was kind of, I was, uh, essentially the nation's pity fuck.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
yeah yeah so it's kind of like it's kind of weird really because I would describe myself as a famous comedian rather than a celebrity you know and it's kind of so I've never really been to kind of red carpets or anything like that I've been to you know I went to my sister's my sister did a premiere for a film once and I went to the in-betweeners film but aside from that it's just not my thing I don't really sort of so I've never looked in that kind of world of showbiz but
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
But I've been on TV for like 20 odd years and, you know, done arenas. People know you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's kind of, so when I do, yeah, when I kind of do press, then sometimes it kind of like my, during COVID, we were supposed to be going on my brother's stag to, you call it a bachelor party. Yeah, yeah. But obviously we couldn't.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And I was doing an interview with Lorraine, who's a really lovely kind of early morning kind of TV host. And I got out a kind of pint of cider because it was supposed to be. My brother stagged it and just kind of downed it. Just was in the middle of this, you know, like, you know, essentially news more just like drinking like. Yeah.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
like really rough cider and that went pretty wild like it was kind of all over just like how it drinks for breakfast and it was just a joke to my brother and all his cousins so yeah i have to be pretty um you think sometimes yeah it's just that odd thing isn't it of like you know like
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
like even in the special that that is true that line of you know it was in the paper that somebody said that i was obsessed with the idea of running a gym but only for grannies so it's just kind of yeah things i say on podcasts sometimes end up in the press so it's pretty wild well we can only hope yeah
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yes. And it's fascinating. It must go against everything that you think of of British people.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? Like America, it's so lovely to come to America because you sort of regard us as like these...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
regal noble beasts and yet it's because we're far away from you we're close we're close to europe and they know the truth about us the truth is that we have a dating show for people who don't know what naked attraction is where the people meet naked and um you have like five women or five men behind five kind of capsules and um you sort of gradually you know you you lift it up pelvis
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You start from the pelvis, so you'll just, you know, you'll just see the cock or vagina of the, of your potential, you know, fiance. Yeah. And they, they literally kind of talk about their bits like, like.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Clinically, but like, but like in the same way you might talk about like buying veg at a supermarket.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And I think one of the famous lines is, are you a muff man? You know, and, uh, and this guy got, well, you know, I don't mind. I don't mind. However she wants to do it. So it's, it's, it's kind of weirdly, it's, it's like a cross between a porn film and like a Wallace and Gromit episode. Do you know what I mean? There's kind of a lot going on, but yeah, it's,
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's, I don't know anyone who's been on it, but it's a really good question because presumably they know people, you know, so their life must forever be different.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, exactly. And it's just, it's, it's so weird, but it boggles.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It really does. And, um, it's, it's, that is the show, isn't it? You almost want to follow them around afterwards. Yes. Do you know what I mean? And just kind of, you're so right about this.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, I would love to. Whereabouts are you guys based? We're in Atlanta. Well, I'll tell you what, if I get the chance when we're over there, I'd love to pop in.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Excellent. Brilliant. Well, lovely to meet you both.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
We appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me. I'm worried about your sign in the background that looks precarious. It looks like it's going to fall.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
But that's the way, isn't it? The best things in life are rickety, aren't they? Do you know what I mean? That's what gives them spirit. If you see a nice, clean suitcase at an airport, there's no mystery. There's no excitement. Yeah. I want to see bumps and scrapes.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's so interesting because Robbie Williams is a massive pop star in the UK and Europe and Australia, but never kind of made it to the United States. And I thought that as well. I was in LA last week and saw these huge hundred foot posters of Robbie as a monkey. And I thought that's an odd selling point because presumably if America does fall in love with the Simeon version of
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
They're going to be so disappointed when they actually go to see Robbie Williams and go, oh, it's just a man. Because it would be bewildering to see a monkey with the ability that Robbie's got.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Well, this is it. Well, this is the problem I think he's inadvertently stumbled into.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
the the film goes massive there's gonna be lots of really giddy americans rocking up presumably with bananas and tires just to fling them at him to see what tricks he can do but the british uh fans i think we find it really interesting because it's a bit like um i mean he's huge it's you know he's as big as ed sheeran in this country so it would be
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I guess, you know, Ed Sheeran, instead of doing like a straight documentary is like, I'm going to be a flamingo. Just want one leg. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. To kind of make it, to, to make it different. But I guess if people don't know who you are, it is utterly bewildering, but there's something kind of cool about it as well.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
So for me, it's like watching one of my cousins go in. Like, fuck, see? Just, I mean, we're trying to get it up him and then they're fucking defending like that. Fuck me sideways. Anyways, nice to meet you. He's not exactly, his mom is basically Ian Holloway in a wig.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
And John, John was at the top of the stairs looking at me and went, oh my God, it's all true.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
We've got Jesus in the house. All right, Jesus. Oh, praise be. Look at him. Let me run a bath, see if he can do that trick across the water. All right, Jay. So I hear you're going to bring peace to the fucking galaxy. How would you like your eggs? Use a glass of water. Pinot Grigio, please.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
But if you're an old man, go, I don't know what you're looking for. I don't know if you're looking for romance.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
Brilliant. Again. No way. I'm just not having this.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
Shit fucking wanker. Jesus Christ. Imagine that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
Welcome to today's match of the day. So, it's three at the back. Shit fucking wanker.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GOALLESS - The Divine Shadows (Season Finale)
Okay, it's going to be a wonderful two.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
I'll make a run. Yeah, alright, I'll dribble the fields.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
And also look like you're disinterested.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Oh, ja, ich habe alles gemacht.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
That is such a good guess, but you are right. Yeah, it is freezing today. Du hast dein Gilet an, du hast eine Jacket an, es ist, es ist, es ist, es ist, es ist, es ist, es ist, es ist, es ist.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Yeah, this is why you just got to keep guys in sports. And then as soon as they're done, you have to kill them.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
I tour a bunch and I'm trying to tour as much as I can. So I guess RoryScoville.com or if you go to Instagram or TikTok, I think it's just at RoryScoville. That's probably the best way to find out about any... Any product I'm pushing.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Thank you for joining us, sir. Guys, thank you so much. This was great. This was like therapeutic, really.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
I started playing at five years old and then started doing club around like 11, I think. And then that carried me through, you know, club and high school and then college. I started at Central Florida for a semester and then transferred back in state to South Carolina, University of South Carolina, Spartanburg, now called USC Upstate.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
So I went from D1 UCF to D2 and now USC Upstate, I think is D, I know for a fact, they're D1 now.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Es ist nicht langfristig nötig, das so zu tun. Ich denke, sie haben begonnen zu verstehen, dass die Bildung das echte Spiel ist und das Spiel auf einem sehr jungen Niveau zu lernen. Und du lernst es auf einem hohen Niveau und machst das eine Art Akademie, in die du gehst. Aber ja, hier war es wie in der Schule. Und du versuchst, eine Scholarschaft zu bekommen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Du versuchst, gut genug zu sein, dass du sagst, hey, wir spielen auf unserem Team, wir geben dir Geld, um es zu machen. Es ist alles so verbunden. Aber ich weiß nicht, dass es langfristig die klugste Art ist, es zu machen. Besonders, wenn man es auf internationaler Ebene für Konkurrenz macht. Ich weiß nicht, ob es großartig ist, Erfolg zu bauen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Hast du Fußball wie eine Bitch verabschiedet? Sag es mal.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Ja, okay, genau. Ja, ich denke, das kann der Fall sein. Ich war damit sehr besessen. Das ist etwas, was ich mit so junger Zeit angefangen habe. Und dann, als ich mich wirklich auf Fußball, Entschuldigung, Fußball beschäftigt habe. Ich weiß, dass, Entschuldigung, weißt du was, das ist nicht meine Wahl. Es ist okay, Rory. Ich wurde in eine Welt gebracht, in der Leute gesagt haben, Fußball.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Ich würde glücklich auf Fußball wechseln. Es ist jetzt einfach instinktiv. Ja. I started really getting educated around 14 when our club team got a new coach. And he came in and he was someone who obsessed over the game and watched every game he could get at the time. You know, it wasn't so accessible over here.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
You had to go to a friend's house who had a weird satellite that had access to all these channels. I mean, I remember as a kid going to someone's house and having access to see like an English Premier League game. And that was like kind of bizarre. Bizarre. Du warst einfach so, oh mein Gott, schau, wie gefeiert es ist. Es ist wie amerikanisches Fußball, aber dort.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Und die Leute lieben es und sind über es besoffen. Es ist unfreundlich, dass ich an einem Zeitpunkt kam, als das eine neue Erweiterung war. Meine Tochter lebt jetzt in einem Weltraum, wo es so viel mehr gefeiert wird, zumindest hier. Und wir verstehen es jetzt. Aber ich habe sogar vergessen, die Frage zu stellen. Ich habe angefangen zu rambeln.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Und hier haben sie einfach die beste Presse bekommen. Es war bemerkenswert. Aber wir wissen von Teams. Wenn wir nur Spiele spielen, würde jemand Sheffield Wednesday sagen, aber wir wussten nicht, was das bedeutet, wenn man einen Namen für ein Team oder Arsenal oder Crystal Palace wählt. Diese Namen sind für uns absurd. Wir wissen gar nicht, was das ist. Wir wissen nicht, dass es dort ist.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Wir haben keine Ahnung, warum es die Titel oder die Namen sind.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Do people come out and are they like really celebrating? Like, oh, this is so cool. We have this, you know?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
It's quite cool. Yeah, I think it's maybe because over here you go, oh, whether you cheer for the same team or not, we almost have to unionize in our support of this thing, because that's what sustains these pubs deciding to even show us these games.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
It's almost like, hey, if we splinter off and all hate each other, even though, you know, if I suddenly was like a huge Arsenal fan, I have no ancestral history of like... Here's why, and my dad and my grandfather. I don't have that the way that NFL teams for sure have it. I was a part of a generation that started playing at the YMCA in 1985. And I think now that I'm 44, naturally...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
I think we've come to a place where more and more people started playing youth soccer. Like my dad didn't play youth soccer. That wasn't like a viable thing. And then more and more people are just doing it to where now you've got it where, you know, just a couple of weeks ago I was in Minneapolis and I saw a pub that was open. I got up so early to go get a coffee before my flight.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Und ich ging zum einzigen Kaffeeshop, der um 6.30 Uhr geöffnet wurde. Und der Pub war offen. Und ich dachte, oh, es ist ein Fehler. Sie haben das Open-Sign geblieben. Das ist, wo wir alle gestern Abend getrunken haben. Und ich bin einfach aufgewacht, um in die Tür zu schauen. Und jedes Premier League-Spiel war auf der TV. Und ich war einfach so...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Oh Mann, ich liebe das, weil das in meiner Jugend nicht nur unerhört war. Niemand hätte aufgehört. Niemand hätte gehofft. Kein Pub hätte überhaupt gewusst, wie man diese Spiele zeigen kann. Und jetzt ist es wie in B.C. oder so etwas früh in der Morgen. Hier ist, was im Ozean läuft. Genau.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Oh, she kicked me out again, Jeff.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
In a depressing way, I greatly miss having a team and I greatly miss going to battle as a team and having that camaraderie and being out there for each other. Because you really get that across the board, I think, in team sports. Jetzt spiele ich sogar in der Männerliga. Ich spiele am Sonntagabend. Ich spiele manchmal am Sonntag.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Ich spiele, wenn ich kann, aber es ist weniger so, als das zu probieren. Das kann nur so lange existieren. Jetzt bist du nur ein älterer Typ, der für das Kardio arbeitet. And if we lose the game, I don't give a shit. I'm like, yeah, great, we lost. Nobody's injured. Everyone can still go to work on Monday.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
It's heartbreaking. I want to be in a halftime and I want a couple guys bleeding and somebody having to... Give that cinematic speech. I mean, I was captain of the team on the senior year and I loved nothing more than getting the guys fired up. And I don't know where these things came from, but I knew how to do it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
I knew what to say in the huddle before kickoff and I knew what to say at halftime to get everybody ready to fucking rage. And I miss that so much. Can you remember any of the soliloquies? Anything? I would just say whatever Russell Crowe said in Gladiator.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Ja, und er war durch einen Divorz, seine Frau hat ihn verletzt.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Aber ich meine, die Dinge, die ich sagen würde, wären wirklich und in dem Moment. Ich wollte niemals Dinge regurgitieren. Ich wollte niemals jemandem zu... Und ich glaube, in einer Art und Weise, jetzt, dass ich das so laut sage, informiert es mein Stand-Up. Weil ich fühle mich so, jedes Mal, als ich den Platz nehme, obwohl wir immer wieder...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
und wir wiederholen unsere Segways und wir wiederholen unsere kleinen Momente, die wahrscheinlich aus einem improvisierten, spontanen Moment geboren wurden, aber so gut funktionieren. Du benutzt es jedes Mal und es wird einfach dieses zementierte Show. Ich wollte immer noch immer eine Gruppe haben, die sich fühlt, als ob es das jetzt ist und er es verkauft.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Aber es würde nur versuchen, die Leute aufzulösen, weil sie verdammt müde sind und sie schmerzen. Und es ist halbzeitlich, das ist die einzige Zeit, in der man wirklich sieht, was man in der ersten Halbzeit gemacht hat, alle wieder zusammen in der in der zweiten Halbzeit.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Ich muss sagen, es war deutlich viel einfacher zu tun, als wir geteilt waren oder wir ein Ziel oder zwei runtergegangen sind und wir wussten, dass wir besser machen sollten. Aber das, was ich liebte, war, dass wir uns auf diesem Feld entfernen würden. Wenn du nicht zurückgekommen wärst oder wenn du nicht vorwärts gekommen wärst, Du würdest deinem Kopf verlieren. Wir würden uns aneinander schreien.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Und sobald das Spiel vorbei war, hatten wir ein Bier und einen Lächeln und es war wie... Es gibt etwas dazu, aber ich weiß nicht. Ich würde zu einem Ort gehen und sagen, das ist verdammt hell. Ich würde ihnen sagen, was ich tun werde. Und ich würde sagen, ich gebe alles. Ich nehme den ersten 50-50-Ball. Ich gehe so hart rein. Und wenn ich eine rote Karte bekomme, bin ich fertig.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Und ich habe keine Angst. Ich gehe, weil das ist der Niveau, den ich spiele. Und du versuchst, andere Leute... Zumindest als Kapitän versuchst du, sie zurückzutun, um zu erinnern, dass wir unsere Arschlöcher bei diesen Übungen verletzen. Und das ist wegen der nächsten 45 Minuten. Warum tun wir das überhaupt nicht, wenn wir diese 45 Minuten haben? Und du kannst da nicht sterben.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Es war wirklich nur ein Versuch.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Ich habe es verbal gesagt, du nimmst es.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
You know, my coach would always tell me to be like, was it Ryan Giggs for Man U? So he would always, he always like brought him up. And again, you could only see flashes of these people on a VHS tape where someone's like Man United, the treble. You'd watch that and you'd go, oh, that's who he's been referencing. So I guess that because it was said to me,
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
all the time but i i don't know that i ever had anyone specifically because i in the us any any professional sport you name we didn't have it where i grew up we didn't have a team so we cheered for teams from atlanta all the time but i never cared because it wasn't a part of my in der Geschichte von Familien. Ich hatte auch nie einen professionellen Spieler, über den die Leute reden würden.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GoalLess: A Soccer Show (Feat. Rory Scovel)
Wir würden alle die selben Sachen machen, wie Pele und Maradona, die sich in diesem Zeitpunkt schon in einer seltsamen Art und Weise ausgedacht haben. Und dann Beckham, über den alle reden würden. Ich bin schon lange mit Henri eingegangen. Ich liebte einfach, wie es aussah, als würde er nicht versuchen. was crushing it, but looked like he was just like, yeah, I'll play. Yeah, I'm fine.