Rusty

Putsu his phone on airplane mode when we hang out, and he's a huge Playdate fan. Green flag to the max. Airplane mode when you hang out is like, that's love. That's kind of an awesome move. Like letting her know, like, I'm very present. Oh, I thought of it the other way, that he's trying to hide notifications from other girls. Uh, fuck. Fire hazard. Fire hazard. Aneurysm. Wait. Yeah, aneurysm.

Ehkä, kyllä. Se on pahaa. Voitko googlailla, jos toinen osa on totta? Pilottasi ei, mutta sitten googlailla hänet. Kyllä, katsotaan. Olin aiemmin sanomassa, että minun pilottani olisi viimeinen henkilö, johon haluaisin mennä loppuun, koska sitten hän ei toimi minulle enää. Hän antoi pilottasi 10 miltä, kun hän kuoli. Kuoli. Lisäksi luulen, että pilottari...

Jos tiedän jotain mieheni Jeffista, ajattelen, että hänellä oli jotain... En voi kutsua häntä mieheni. ...kirjoittamista, joka teki häntä onnistumattomaksi. Kyllä, kyllä. Paljon ihmistä teki kirjoittamista. En tiedä, kuinka hän saa rahaa. Miten hän on tullut ystävien kanssa?

Pilotti ei voinut, mutta hän voinut vuonna 2008. Okei, Valentine's Day themed confessions. Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I once googled why does my girlfriend have acne at the start of our relationship. When I was breaking up with her two years later, she revealed she saw it on my search history way back when. I think about that every day.

Yep. Forgive me father for I have sinned. One time when I was 17 I was a lifeguard. Me and my best friend used her period blood, she was using a menstrual cup, to make red velvet cake pops to feed to my ex at work, except the next day we forgot them in the fridge, so we thought nothing of it until one went missing and apparently her grandma and little sister shared one.

All right, next one. In school a guy in my friend group moved away. It was before social media so we had no real way of connecting with him. I found out later he had a crush on me. I told some of our mutual friends that he reached out to me and that we were doing long distance. This was not true. I was just texting myself and then sending screenshots to my friends. This went on for an entire year. During the summer I forgot about it. Next year his parents got divorced and he returned to our school. I just never mentioned anything to him.

Mä tykkään siitä, kyllä. Mä tykkään Disney Channelin elokuvasta, kun vanhemmat sanovat, että me jatketaan. Ja hän sanoo, että on kiva, että minun koulujeni haittaa kaikkia. Ja hän laittaa kaikkia heikkoja tehtäviä, jotka hän haittaa. Ja loppujen lopuksi isäni sanoo, että me ei jatketa. Ja hän täytyy käsitellä kaikki asiat, jotka hän teki. Se on elokuva? Mmhmm. Mitä se on? Antti? Kyllä. Mä en vielä voi mennä periaatteessa. Onko siellä ihmisiä, jotka tekevät sitä?

Tai Githead. Kyllä, se olisi hyvä. Se olisi hyvä. Seuraavaksi. Pidä minua vanhemmat, sillä olen onnistunut. Se on ollut aikaa, kun minulla oli viimeinen kokemus. Kun olin 12-vuotias, rakastin kokemusta, ja isäni osti Ferreiraa Roacherista isäni valentiaisena päivänä.

but they were willing to share with the family. Sneakily throughout the day I would go and eat a ball from the fridge and hide the evidence. At the end of the day my dad realized that there was way less chocolate than he had put in the fridge in the morning. He asked who ate the chocolate and we all said no, I have three other siblings.

My dad was so upset we had eaten them during the day. He lined us all up on the couch and asked who ate them all together. And we all said it wasn't us. And my youngest brother was giggling and smiling. So he took the blame for looking guilty. Everyone jumped on to hit since he was a little overweight as a kid. And he ended up taking the blame for eating them. To this day my family still believes it was my youngest brother who ate all the chocolate that time. And 15 years later I still haven't told them it was me and I might not ever.

It's kind of like the universal... The clef?

But isn't that weird?

No, that is funny.

Yeah, you're probably right, actually.

I insist.

I don't know.

I don't want to talk about it.

Um, no, uh, I didn't have anyone on my like shit list.

What did he have against bikers?

How sore are you?