Sadia Khan

And if I teach women to hate men, that's going to be terrible for parenting.

So it's always kind of finding the balance between the two to get to a healthier home.

Thank you for that question.

Great question.

What happened is, and this is probably why it was so different, is, and I talk about this in my book, I was following, when I first became a therapist, there's amazing resources.

So they'll teach you about attachment styles.

They teach you about Gottman theory.

They'll teach you about love languages.

And you feel so intelligent when you learn all of this.

So when I first started having clients, I was like, okay, as a man, you just need to show her her love language.

If she likes gifts, give her a bunch of gifts.

If she wants quality time, just do that.

And I was following all of the advice that had been written for years and thinking that's going to lead to results.

It never, ever did.

Because the fundamental ingredient, before she can love you, she has to admire you to some extent.

And women can't admire men that have no masculinity.

So if he's super passive, super soft, or if he's on the other end and he's super lustful and he's always like, you know, chasing women, no matter how many gifts you give or quality time, the underlying woman will never be able to submit, respect, or admire you if you're not a truly masculine man.

There's no point of a really submissive, loving man if then he's weak and he's not powerful.

There's no point of a really affluent man if then he's lustful and chasing other women.

So without the underlying pin of masculinity, women were just not responding to the advice I was giving men.