Samaiya Mushtaq

And then I remember when we were talking, he noticed something on the mural in the background that... And we kind of made conversation about that. And I just remember that detail because there was this, I'm present. I'm present and I'm noticing things and I'm responding to what's happening in my environment. I'm responding to what you're saying.

And then I remember when we were talking, he noticed something on the mural in the background that... And we kind of made conversation about that. And I just remember that detail because there was this, I'm present. I'm present and I'm noticing things and I'm responding to what's happening in my environment. I'm responding to what you're saying.

And there was a responsiveness that I really noticed right away and that I really enjoyed right away.

And there was a responsiveness that I really noticed right away and that I really enjoyed right away.

He has this ability when he's listening to you to make you feel like he's really just taking it all in and really it matters to him. Like he's being affected by what you're saying. I mean, even the topics we would talk about, they would carry over from one time we met to another, or he would remember something that I had mentioned and follow up on it.

He has this ability when he's listening to you to make you feel like he's really just taking it all in and really it matters to him. Like he's being affected by what you're saying. I mean, even the topics we would talk about, they would carry over from one time we met to another, or he would remember something that I had mentioned and follow up on it.

It just felt like he was excited and curious about life.

It just felt like he was excited and curious about life.

Oh, yeah. He was certain really early on. I mean... How early? I remember him bringing it up like six weeks into meeting. He was like, I want to know where this is going and where your head is at. I think this is one of those things, Anna, where...

Oh, yeah. He was certain really early on. I mean... How early? I remember him bringing it up like six weeks into meeting. He was like, I want to know where this is going and where your head is at. I think this is one of those things, Anna, where...

To somebody who's not in our community, that might seem like really forward because again, we're talking about a different construct because for us, that's there from the beginning. And so it's like, is this heading in that direction or not? But for me, I didn't feel that right away. It just wasn't as straightforward for me as it was for him. Yeah.

To somebody who's not in our community, that might seem like really forward because again, we're talking about a different construct because for us, that's there from the beginning. And so it's like, is this heading in that direction or not? But for me, I didn't feel that right away. It just wasn't as straightforward for me as it was for him. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I would say that was the biggest part of it. I mean, looking back, I don't think there were major reservations. I mean, there was like a couple of things about Mahmoud, like he could be a little bit forgetful or, you know, like I remember he left his phone in the fitting room and I was like, oh, my God, he's going to leave a kid at the park. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I would say that was the biggest part of it. I mean, looking back, I don't think there were major reservations. I mean, there was like a couple of things about Mahmoud, like he could be a little bit forgetful or, you know, like I remember he left his phone in the fitting room and I was like, oh, my God, he's going to leave a kid at the park. Yeah.

Like I would definitely catastrophize these things. I was like looking for the red flags, you know? Sure, sure, sure, sure. But I think all of that was fear. I think I was like, I have to be very vigilant of the things that can go wrong because I miss those things the first time and I can't afford to miss them a second time.

Like I would definitely catastrophize these things. I was like looking for the red flags, you know? Sure, sure, sure, sure. But I think all of that was fear. I think I was like, I have to be very vigilant of the things that can go wrong because I miss those things the first time and I can't afford to miss them a second time.

I think that's what makes it hard is like I don't know that I overcame it and then decided. I think it was like I recognized that I would have to live with it.

I think that's what makes it hard is like I don't know that I overcame it and then decided. I think it was like I recognized that I would have to live with it.

Yeah, I mean, I remember feeling it right up until I said yes. And then it was like it was gone. It was almost like a weight lifted off. It was like, whew. All that fear about doing it and how am I going to do it? It's too scary to do it again. I don't want to do it again because it could go south. And then I was like, I did it. And this is my person.

Yeah, I mean, I remember feeling it right up until I said yes. And then it was like it was gone. It was almost like a weight lifted off. It was like, whew. All that fear about doing it and how am I going to do it? It's too scary to do it again. I don't want to do it again because it could go south. And then I was like, I did it. And this is my person.