Sarah Carey

you know, and suffer.

And then people will start expecting you to get back on the horse.

And if you don't, then, oh, you should have counseling.

Have you tried an antidepressant?

And it's pathologized then.

And it may not be pathological.

You know, you will need whatever time you need and you cannot order your feelings and no one can tell you to do that.

So if there are people listening who have friends who are bereaved, you know,

don't make them feel like they're grieving too much.

Now, some people will.

Some people will go on for years and years and years, and it will get pathological.

But for most people, they just need time.

So, you know, a friend of mine whose wife died and he really suffered terribly.

And I asked him recently, how was he?

And he said, look, it's just now it's a place inside me and it's there.

And I know it's there.

Um,

But gradually he has been able to get on and enjoy things again without feeling like he's betraying her.

You know, so and I think that's a block a lot of people face that if they get over it, that somehow they're they're cheating, you know, on their wife.

One other thing, a relation of mine, her husband died and other widows got in touch with her and gave her some advice.