Sarah Koenig

And I just cannot do that right now.

For many, many months, we tried to contact Hye's family to tell them we were doing this story and in hopes they might want to talk to us about Hye.

In my 20-plus years of reporting, I've never tried as hard to find anyone.

Letters in English and in Korean, phone calls, social media, friends of friends of friends, two private detectives, Korean-speaking researchers, people knocking on doors in three different states, calls to South Korea.

We never heard back from them.

I learned a few days ago that they know what we're doing.

My best guess is they want no part of it, which I respect.

About Hay, I can tell you only what I've heard from non-family members.

That she was cheerful and light and funny.

That she loved the movie Titanic.

That she sometimes put nail polish on just so she could pick it off.

She wasn't insecure, seemingly ever.

Sprite was her favorite soda.

The Dallas Cowboys her favorite team, not because she cared about football, but because she liked the colors blue and silver.

That she could charm you without trying.

That she was a good friend to her friends.

She took in their problems and their pain and tried to help them if she could.

At the sentencing, listening to Hay's mother, that was the first time a nun understood how people on Hay's side of the courtroom saw him.

He'd never felt hated before.

In his June 14, 2000, letter to Krista, he writes, quote, on the one hand, I feel her pain because I cared about Hay and how sad she is.