Sarah Shun-lien Bynum

She never neglected me, before or after the divorce, or led me to think that she would.

But I saw what the world was.

I saw how things could get.

Nobody's sweetness could take that away.

I ran away with a boy when I was 16.

He was three years older, and I was enormously flattered that he wanted me to run off with him.

We didn't say we loved each other.

We didn't bring that up.

But my lust for him was great and constant.

Lust was a big deal in the world around me.

People believed in sex in a way that they don't quite anymore.

Did we run that idea into the ground?

Overplay it?

I could not have been prouder of myself in those days to be following sex as my guiding star.

I thought that it was an exalted idea.

as well as a source of beautiful sensations.

I thought that anyone who didn't have my opportunities was living a lesser life.

I should have paid more attention to Brody, the boy in question.

I was much too abstract in the way that I viewed him.

We both worked at a donut shop on West 8th Street.