Sarah Wildman

And then we were beginning an experimental treatment. And at that time, actually, she was doing really well. And they were concerned to wait. But they didn't say to us, well, there's a new calculation here, which is to say you're facing a third metastasis. We don't know if delaying surgery will affect our ability to get on top of this cancer. They weren't yet talking about it being incurable.

Right. Instead, they said, we should make sure we do everything we can. And what I would have preferred was to say, let's let her travel. Let's let her do something while she's doing well. Because I actually think they knew then the trajectory wasn't great. And I think there's a way to do that that still allows for hope. Orly's cancer metastasized to her brain in June. And Ian asked providers...

Right. Instead, they said, we should make sure we do everything we can. And what I would have preferred was to say, let's let her travel. Let's let her do something while she's doing well. Because I actually think they knew then the trajectory wasn't great. And I think there's a way to do that that still allows for hope. Orly's cancer metastasized to her brain in June. And Ian asked providers...

Right. Instead, they said, we should make sure we do everything we can. And what I would have preferred was to say, let's let her travel. Let's let her do something while she's doing well. Because I actually think they knew then the trajectory wasn't great. And I think there's a way to do that that still allows for hope. Orly's cancer metastasized to her brain in June. And Ian asked providers...

Does this mean she'll die? People really were reluctant to answer that question. And I was reluctant to hear it. So I think to your question, if they'd given it out in small doses, what they could have said was... This is resetting the table. She won't outrun this. We don't know how much time we have. What are the things you want to do?

Does this mean she'll die? People really were reluctant to answer that question. And I was reluctant to hear it. So I think to your question, if they'd given it out in small doses, what they could have said was... This is resetting the table. She won't outrun this. We don't know how much time we have. What are the things you want to do?

Does this mean she'll die? People really were reluctant to answer that question. And I was reluctant to hear it. So I think to your question, if they'd given it out in small doses, what they could have said was... This is resetting the table. She won't outrun this. We don't know how much time we have. What are the things you want to do?

If they'd started to say that when she was still able to do more things, it would have been terrifying. And I think it's part of the reason why it's really hard to have those conversations.

If they'd started to say that when she was still able to do more things, it would have been terrifying. And I think it's part of the reason why it's really hard to have those conversations.

If they'd started to say that when she was still able to do more things, it would have been terrifying. And I think it's part of the reason why it's really hard to have those conversations.

Yes, I think hope can be a form of denial. It can also be a motivating force. It can mean that you do seek out treatments that do give you days, months, maybe even years. I think that the hope is essential because... Cancer care is grueling. It can be demoralizing to face the consequences of cancer care. The cancer care itself comes with pain. It comes with nausea.

Yes, I think hope can be a form of denial. It can also be a motivating force. It can mean that you do seek out treatments that do give you days, months, maybe even years. I think that the hope is essential because... Cancer care is grueling. It can be demoralizing to face the consequences of cancer care. The cancer care itself comes with pain. It comes with nausea.

Yes, I think hope can be a form of denial. It can also be a motivating force. It can mean that you do seek out treatments that do give you days, months, maybe even years. I think that the hope is essential because... Cancer care is grueling. It can be demoralizing to face the consequences of cancer care. The cancer care itself comes with pain. It comes with nausea.

It comes with, obviously, hair loss. It can come with all sorts of indignities. It must be so hard to watch as a parent. It was brutal because she really tried to live each moment in such an enormous way. She really, really loved living. And she would try to make life different in the hospital. I mean, she... made every single nurse do TikTok dances with her.

It comes with, obviously, hair loss. It can come with all sorts of indignities. It must be so hard to watch as a parent. It was brutal because she really tried to live each moment in such an enormous way. She really, really loved living. And she would try to make life different in the hospital. I mean, she... made every single nurse do TikTok dances with her.

It comes with, obviously, hair loss. It can come with all sorts of indignities. It must be so hard to watch as a parent. It was brutal because she really tried to live each moment in such an enormous way. She really, really loved living. And she would try to make life different in the hospital. I mean, she... made every single nurse do TikTok dances with her.

She would make the music therapist sing Lizzo and Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift. And she would play Taylor Swift and Lizzo in every operating room. And she had many, many surgeries. She would force people again and again to see her not as a patient, but as a person. And to see that she wasn't able to do that as much as she would have liked outside of the hospital. For example, she loved acting.

She would make the music therapist sing Lizzo and Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift. And she would play Taylor Swift and Lizzo in every operating room. And she had many, many surgeries. She would force people again and again to see her not as a patient, but as a person. And to see that she wasn't able to do that as much as she would have liked outside of the hospital. For example, she loved acting.

She would make the music therapist sing Lizzo and Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift. And she would play Taylor Swift and Lizzo in every operating room. And she had many, many surgeries. She would force people again and again to see her not as a patient, but as a person. And to see that she wasn't able to do that as much as she would have liked outside of the hospital. For example, she loved acting.

In the fall of 2022, she'd already had two brain surgeries, and she won a lead in Twelfth Night. And I have videos of her practicing for the part. But by late fall, she felt too tired to go to rehearsal. And it's these indignities as well, to not get these small pieces of joy that are really easy to take for granted, and to not be able to give her that. I wanted to give her everything.