Scott Alexander

If nothing else, I want to be able to spend quality time with my kids without turning it into an argument over whether they get the phone or not.

Selfish reasons to do less childcare.

None of this addresses my primary interest in this book.

Am I wrong to feel overwhelmed by childcare?

I was curious enough about this that I emailed Brian and asked him how much time he spent on childcare when his kids were toddlers.

He said about two hours a day for him, one hour for his wife.

Relatives and nannies picked up the rest.

I could complain that, sure, childcare isn't overwhelming when you're only doing two hours of it a day.

But honestly, this is about the same amount of childcare I do now.

And I do feel overwhelmed.

So, advantage Brian.

When I thought about it more, I realised that a lot of my overwhelmedness came from not being able to consistently choose the two hours, and from survivor's guilt about my wife doing her seven to eight hours.

When I talked more with Brian, he recommended hiring more nannies.

Daycare would also work, except that my wife and nanny both have terrible immune systems and get knocked out of commission if they catch anything from the kids.

Any solution which exposes them to more germs probably saves me negative childcare hours.

I'd been resisting this.

Partly it was out of stinginess, something-something tariffs, something-something impending recession.

Partly it was pride.

We're a two-parent family with a stay-at-home mum, a work-from-home dad, and a part-time nanny.

Millions have it far worse.