Sean Langan

And he was pulling out the box, like big family size shampoo from, you know, mainly Pakistan, big family size chocolates and,

toffees and he'd be look at this and I've also got you this and I'm thinking how long am I here for this supposed to be an interview but that shampoo like that's like a giant family pack and I'm being very slow like why is it what's the size of those peanuts and they were like pulling bags of and in the meantime he just four minutes to welcome me he says sure he pulls out a sheaf of papers and hands it to my fixer

who's reading this scroll, you know, it's like ancient Greece.

He's reading the scroll.

His face just was drained of blood and white as he's reading.

But meanwhile, the commander's still saying, don't worry about him.

I've also got you toffees from Iran.

Like Iranian toffees, apparently.

Fuck knows why.

And I'm like, Jesus, what's happening?

And then finally, after showing me all these wonderful gifts, what a nice man he was, he just gets up and says, right, read that, and you've got some questions to answer, and walked out.

And I turned to my fixer, and I'm like, what's he saying?

He reads out this, and it's an official Taliban-headed notepaper.

By order of the Emir, Siraj Akhani, you're hereby charged with working for foreign enemy government.

And I go, fuck, we've been kidnapped.

And my fixer's looking at me like I still don't get it because we've been accused in that letter of being charged with being spies, working for foreign enemy governments.

And he looked at me, it hit me like we've been kidnapped.

He went, Sean, you know, we're dead.

And we went into a tailspin of panic and adrenaline, which lasted two days where you're trying to figure out how to escape.

Who fucked you over?