Shade Zahrai

and then they start to anticipate that and then they might start to match that as well so that's one piece but the other piece is sometimes there are people who may not necessarily be negative they're not negative energy vampires but when we're around them we start doubting ourselves we feel like our goals are too big we feel like our dreams are not going to happen because of subtle ways that they respond to us and the subtle things that they say

Again, they may not be aware of it.

And this is the power of what's called social contagion, where we catch the beliefs and the mindsets of other people.

And also what's called verbal persuasion, which comes out of the work on self-efficacy, which is that belief of, yeah, I can do the thing.

When you're around these people, you will know because you find that it makes you dampen your goals.

It makes you not want to share your dreams.

It also makes you question whether you want to try doing that thing or take on that opportunity or say the thing because that person has already told me that it's probably not going to work and I don't want to prove them right.

So I'm just not going to do it.

And then you keep yourself small.

There's something called the Pygmalion and the Golem effects.

Okay, so let's explore these.

When you're around people who genuinely believe in you and tell you so, they don't have to say, Max, you're amazing, but it's more like, that's an amazing goal.

Cool, let me know how I can support.

You can tell they believe in you.

When you're around those people,

you are more likely to live up to their expectations of you.

On a subconscious level, you're not even aware of it.

So if they believe in you, there's a part of your psyche that goes, maybe I should believe in me too.

Maybe I can do this.

And then you're more likely to perform.