Shane Parrish

This isn't effective.

It's not moving you closer to what you want to get.

You just have to deal with it.

The longer you're arguing with it, the more you're putting off dealing with it.

Often, we just don't deal with it at all because by the time we've

We've maybe like toned down our emotions a little bit.

We've come to realize that we might have had a contribution to this whole thing playing out the way that it did, including me.

I mean, my contribution was escalating at the grocery store, right?

Like I totally, I had a contribution there, but I couldn't see my contribution because my ego and my emotions are in charge.

And by the time that those sort of like dissipate and I felt them and I can see the situation more clearly for what it was, well, now I've moved on to the next story I'm telling myself.

So I never really go back and sort of address to reality.

That is a very interesting angle to positioning, right?

Because it makes your relationship better, makes it stronger.

And it means that you're open to sort of being right in a different way.

right?

It means you're open to getting a better outcome.

You're open to, it doesn't have to be me that's right all the time.

And not only does that make you more vulnerable, it makes her more vulnerable and it makes your relationship more vulnerable and more powerful and it makes it stronger.

So we talk about unexpected events.

You can't predict the future, but if your relationship is stronger, you can withstand a lot more possible futures.