Shankar Vedantam

What's the relationship between not mattering and depression and substance abuse?

Every time I read the statistics on suicide, Gord, I'm really taken aback.

Some 50,000 people die by suicide in the United States every year.

I'm sure the number is high in Canada as well.

And of course, worldwide, I think the statistics suggest that more than 700,000 people a year kill themselves.

Is there a connection between a feeling of not mattering and extreme actions like attempting or contemplating suicide?

And it's important to note here, for anyone who may be struggling with thoughts of suicide, help is just a call or text away.

In the United States, listeners can reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

For those outside the US, there's a link in today's show notes with information on how to connect with support in your country.

Gord, we hinted at this a little while ago, but research suggests that our unmet need to feel like we matter is linked to aggression and violent behavior.

We talked about the Columbine school shootings, but I feel like almost every time there's a report of a mass shooting or a school shooting, it invariably transpires that the shooter was socially isolated or felt humiliated and ignored for years.

So in some ways, people are saying, you know, I feel like I don't matter, but I'm going to prove to you that, in fact, I do matter, and I'm going to do it, you know, at the point of a gun.

You say that once a sense of non-mattering is in place, there are several factors that can make that condition worse.

And one of those is perfectionism.

Why would there be a connection between perfectionism and a feeling of not mattering?

I can also imagine then if people are measuring themselves up to these impossible yardsticks, that a lot of what they're doing then is comparing themselves to other people.

Yeah, I mean, there's always going to be someone who has done something more than you, better than you, faster than you, is richer than you.

You know, how do you get out of that?

Talk about how this feeling of anti-mattering is related to how we can become trapped in these cycles of rumination.

In some ways, you're hinting at this already.