Shankar Vedantam

I mean, if you tell me that the intern cannot control their stutter, of course it changes whether you tell them the truth or not.

Another situation involves a manager who has to give some bad news to his employees and has to decide whether to share this bad news with one employee who is about to have a very special weekend.

Paint a picture of this scenario for me.

Oh, wow.

So when we look at all these varied reasons that people say that lying is okay, there is at least one powerful through line.

Is the lie the product of selfish intentions or benevolent intentions?

Explain this difference, Emma.

So in other words, instead of saying don't tell lies, is what we really mean to say don't tell selfish lies?

So you found that when people tell these selfless falsehoods, these pro-social lies, that actually these pro-social lies increase trust in the liar?

You know, in some ways, I think many of us simultaneously want two things that are at odds with one another.

We admire people who spare others from needless pain, but we also admire people who say what they think no matter what.

You know, I had a friend in college who always said whatever he thought, and he was like a bull in a china shop, and he caused a lot of hurt.

But over time, people also came to trust when he told them anything positive because they knew that he was telling the truth.

Can you also talk about the idea that benevolent lies sound benevolent, but I'm wondering if there is a thin line sometimes between benevolent lies and selfish lies.

Can't we tell lies for selfish reasons and convince ourselves that we have in fact done so for benevolent reasons?

I mean, I'm thinking about the cheating spouse who is not telling her partner that she had the affair.

And she says, OK, the partner is 24 hours away from dying.

And so I don't want to burden him with this information.

But what if your partner is now a week away from dying?

What if your partner is a month away from dying?