Shawn Ryan

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was that planned?

Was that, I'm going to give Jesus the middle finger here?

Why Christmas Day?

Yeah, man.

You know, suicide in teens is an all-time high right now.

What do you have to say to kids that are, or anybody, not just kids, anybody that's getting ready to take that step?

That would have been around 2017, probably.

And yeah, I reclined my seat back in the garage, left the car running.

was ready to go oh my gosh yeah and uh i mean i was drunk as i don't even i don't remember it yeah but uh yeah woke up woke up naked in my room smelling gasoline or something and uh ran downstairs saw my gun not the gun that i carry every day

um a bigger gun sitting on the couch so i knew i was like well that's i wonder why that's out and then i walked out into the garage and uh grabbed the handle still it was hot i walked in

and uh i was like oh shit i think my car's running in there and i was like man if i open this door and there's a fire i'm probably gonna get fucking blown away i was like well that would be good so i opened the door nothing happened and then i saw i stayed i saw the car running smelled like gas big time in there

I was so, it was so, it was, there were so many fumes.

I was like, holy shit.

I mean, I was still drunk too.

So I wasn't thinking right.

But I was like, man, I don't even want to push the garage door button now.

Cause the whole damn condominium building's going to fucking blow up.

And so I, and then I was like, well, wait a minute.