Shelby Boyd

It probably was more... Are you going to say a phase?

Got into a bit of a... Curfew violation when I was 13.

Rode in the cop car.

Yeah, so Texas is weird, at least I think it is, because the other day I was at work and I hear someone around the corner walking in heels, and I'm imagining this tall, beautiful, successful businesswoman, and instead this short, stocky man with a cowboy hat rounds the corner.

It really threw me off.

But I have a couple jokes for you about tortoises.

So my tortoise is like a piano.

It'll kill you if it falls 50 feet under your head.

My brother saw a turtle in Cancun, but I one-upped him because I see a turtle every night when I shower with my husband.

And honestly, I expected these jokes to last a little longer, so that's all I had for you.

Pretty recently, yeah.

In College Station.

Nope.

Yep.

No, my brother-in-law actually got it when he was a kid.

And typical, he doesn't take care of his pets, so I stole it from him.

Yeah.

They live a long time, right?

They're pretty hard to take care of.

You have to feed them once a day.