Shelly

And my junior high years, I was in with all the bad girls.

It was just party time through seventh and eighth grade.

I guess so.

One friend just saw me sitting at a table and came up and said, you're mine now.

And I just went with it and then drank and smoked and made out with boys and bushes.

When it was time to go to high school, I had this big epiphany and decided I didn't want to be around those people anymore.

And I switched to the other high school in town.

So then I was with more good girlfriends.

It was my freshman year of high school and I'm hanging out with my good girlfriend, Ashley.

And suddenly I see one of my old bad girlfriends come storming across campus looking for me.

And she's like, Shelly, our other friend, Teresa, she thinks she's pregnant and she's grounded.

She's like DEFCON 5 grounded.

She cannot leave the house.

She needs a pregnancy test.

I know.

So it's up to us to get her a pregnancy test.

And the school I go to is down the road from the grocery store.

And God forbid, a bunch of 14-year-old girls actually buy a pregnancy test.

So we decide that we're going to steal it.

There's a reason that they store them right in the same area together, right underneath the big window where the manager can see, which you don't think about when you're 14.