Shonda Rhimes

Like, that was what he was for in a lot of ways.

And it's not that I don't love dating and love... I just...

got engaged and felt suffocated in a way that terrified me.

And I was also really bothered by the fact that I got engaged to somebody and I have all of these accolades and accomplishments.

And the excitement and joy that somebody else wanted to marry me, people rejoiced like a war had ended.

It was crazy.

Far more interested and excited about that than any award, my three children, anything else.

And that also really bothered me.

And I really think I worried about losing myself and losing the definition of who I was because I was going to have to share another piece of my brain with somebody else.

You know, children take up a lot.

Writing takes up a lot.

But there was that.

Yeah.

So what was the hardest?

The hardest thing I think was to admit it to myself and especially to the other person.

I mean, I think there's something terrible about putting somebody else in that position.

I'm a writer.

I had...

imagine this whole thing into into you know life I had made plans and created ideas and talked about it and realized that I was putting a lot of fiction into the idea of what I wanted my life to be but none of it had anything to do with the reality of what I wanted my life to be oh

Yeah.