Simon Vance

Not enough jelly on the diaphragm was how Munro explained the timing to her two elder daughters. Writing was Munro's vocation. Mothering was not. I'm terribly grateful that I had them, she once said of her daughters, yet I have to realize I probably wouldn't have had them if I had the choice. Sheila Munro's memoir would appear to bear this out.

Not enough jelly on the diaphragm was how Munro explained the timing to her two elder daughters. Writing was Munro's vocation. Mothering was not. I'm terribly grateful that I had them, she once said of her daughters, yet I have to realize I probably wouldn't have had them if I had the choice. Sheila Munro's memoir would appear to bear this out.

The book is a portrait of unbending dedication to literature, a child's eye view of a stubbornly turned back. Munro, we learn, often wrote in the laundry room surrounded by domestic impedimenta—washer, dryer, ironing board— She snatched time for her fiction between household chores or while Sheila and her sisters were napping or at school.

The book is a portrait of unbending dedication to literature, a child's eye view of a stubbornly turned back. Munro, we learn, often wrote in the laundry room surrounded by domestic impedimenta—washer, dryer, ironing board— She snatched time for her fiction between household chores or while Sheila and her sisters were napping or at school.

She had to write, not only to write, but to write a masterpiece. And how could she possibly write a masterpiece with me dragging her fingers off the typewriter keys or pulling the pencil out of her hand, reads a starkly symbolic passage. Come and see, I would command, come and see. And she would fend me off with one hand while keeping her other hand on the keys.

She had to write, not only to write, but to write a masterpiece. And how could she possibly write a masterpiece with me dragging her fingers off the typewriter keys or pulling the pencil out of her hand, reads a starkly symbolic passage. Come and see, I would command, come and see. And she would fend me off with one hand while keeping her other hand on the keys.

Monroe had made a conscious decision to be the opposite kind of mother from her own, whom she saw, according to Sheila, as moralistic, demanding, smothering, and emotionally manipulative. And almost nothing was off limits for discussion. Haircuts and facelifts, friendships and love affairs.

Monroe had made a conscious decision to be the opposite kind of mother from her own, whom she saw, according to Sheila, as moralistic, demanding, smothering, and emotionally manipulative. And almost nothing was off limits for discussion. Haircuts and facelifts, friendships and love affairs.

With her mother, Sheila felt, I could get places of insight and awareness and wonder that I could reach with no one else. But as she said to me recently, she has come to feel she misread the intimacy they shared.

With her mother, Sheila felt, I could get places of insight and awareness and wonder that I could reach with no one else. But as she said to me recently, she has come to feel she misread the intimacy they shared.

Though her mother was deeply interested in the stories Sheila told her as she entered adulthood, she seemed to relate to them more as narratives than as events in the life of her eldest child. The point was to talk about everything and reveal everything, not to come up with a solution, Sheila said to me, describing her mother's attitude.

Though her mother was deeply interested in the stories Sheila told her as she entered adulthood, she seemed to relate to them more as narratives than as events in the life of her eldest child. The point was to talk about everything and reveal everything, not to come up with a solution, Sheila said to me, describing her mother's attitude.

You use up your childhood, Monroe told the Paris Review in 1994. The deep, personal material of the latter half of your life is your children. What it's like to be used by your mother in this way is something we learn from Sheila's memoir, in which she says she has trouble distinguishing personal memories from her mother's fiction.

You use up your childhood, Monroe told the Paris Review in 1994. The deep, personal material of the latter half of your life is your children. What it's like to be used by your mother in this way is something we learn from Sheila's memoir, in which she says she has trouble distinguishing personal memories from her mother's fiction.

Sometimes I even feel as though I'm living inside an Alice Monroe story. In the mid-1970s, Around the time Monroe was starting her relationship with Fremlin, she offered Sheila some candid advice about a boy she was dating, a brash undergraduate who had taken a creative writing class with Monroe.

Sometimes I even feel as though I'm living inside an Alice Monroe story. In the mid-1970s, Around the time Monroe was starting her relationship with Fremlin, she offered Sheila some candid advice about a boy she was dating, a brash undergraduate who had taken a creative writing class with Monroe.

"'The point is you have to withdraw attention, either as a tactic or to save yourself,' Monroe wrote in a letter. "'As long as you're there suffering and bitching, but there, hung up on him, the situation is not going to change.' Being in love that way just isn't good. There must be a better, self-sufficient way to love. I'm preaching to myself as well as you. Get so you don't need him.

"'The point is you have to withdraw attention, either as a tactic or to save yourself,' Monroe wrote in a letter. "'As long as you're there suffering and bitching, but there, hung up on him, the situation is not going to change.' Being in love that way just isn't good. There must be a better, self-sufficient way to love. I'm preaching to myself as well as you. Get so you don't need him.

Work at it. Then of course he may come back all humbled and interested. Women like us have got to get away from emotional dependency or life is just one dreary, man-made seesaw. For Monroe, at least, emotional dependency was not so easily shrugged off.

Work at it. Then of course he may come back all humbled and interested. Women like us have got to get away from emotional dependency or life is just one dreary, man-made seesaw. For Monroe, at least, emotional dependency was not so easily shrugged off.