Simone Stolzoff

Now, there are certain decisions in our life, like picking who to marry or whether to buy a house or not, that are more like one way door decisions.

You know, once you walk through that door, it's harder to go back.

But the majority of the decisions in our life are two way door decisions.

And we take a sort of one way door mentality to them.

We discount our own ability to course correct, to adapt, to figure things out as we go.

And so we try and gather endless information or talk to our yoga teacher about our dilemma or to try and do every single chat GPT query you possibly can before you make your choice.

But

Often there are diminishing returns that information you can capture, and it's more effective to make a decision before you're completely ready.

Because when you're 100% ready, often it's a little bit too late.

The biggest thing that I learned from talking to John Gottman, who is sort of the love doctor, one of the biggest researchers when it comes to relationships and love,

is when you're really in a dilemma with a one-way door decision, the thing you have to try to get in touch with is yourself.

The big piece of advice that he gave is to know thyself.

And a little spoiler to the sort of conversation that we started with about the couple that was just starting to get divorced.

The biggest thing that Connie and Andrew learned in that year was who they were

independent of their relationship.

And so with a question like whether or not you want to have a kid, I definitely can't answer that question for you.

You can't play out both counterfactual and the choice that you make at the same time.

We only get one life to live.

And so at a certain point, you have to

make a bet.