Siri Hustvedt

It does turn out that a lot of grieving people have some form of hallucinatory presence, full-blown hallucinations, seeing a person, for example, sitting in the favorite chair, walking through the door.

This is quite common.

But I am...

On the day of the funeral, I left the company to go upstairs and just be alone for a little while in our house.

And I was in the bedroom lying down.

And I had the most powerful sensation that Paul was on the steps.

I didn't hear anything or see anything or smell anything, and there was no touch, no senses.

But I knew that it was Paul.

He walked into the bedroom, stood by the bed.

Again, invisible, but I knew.

looked at me, I was flooded with joy, and then he left.

I was amazed.

I go through possible explanations for this, and I actually had, as a pubescent girl, a malevolent presence that I felt at the bottom of the stairs in my parents' house, our family house.

And I had read a lot.

I've read a lot about presences in my interest in neuroscience and neurology.

But I'd never had this.

And it was a gift.

Grace.

It was wonderful.

And now that I have been traveling for this book a bit,