Sona Movsesian
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Well, I just looked over at Sona and this is what she was doing.
Can you just be someone that can speak the dead language of Latin?
Conan O'Brien, suspiciously healthy. Wait a minute.
Does he know that you're getting advice about your relationship from Conan on here today?
Did you say you're a fan? Yeah. You said as a fan. I am a fan.
You're trying to get on the show.
Yes.
Well, where are we going now? And it goes back to what you're saying, too, just talking about that moment on the street, but also with Javier Bardem. Yes, we'll do all this research and like, okay, you're going to go to Botin and have a meal with him. But then you really take it from there and improvise within each segment. So much of it is improvised. Yeah.
Yeah. But I also think, I've said it many before, but just from having a late-night talk show where you worked in six-minute segments, I think, and shot tons and tons of remotes out on the street, you bring all that when every one of these situations, you go into it going, all right, I'm having dinner.
with Javier Bardem in this restaurant, this will probably be a five, six-minute piece, and your brain, you just know you're also directing it kind of as you go, and we're all looking for a dismount. But you are as well, and we're always trying to think about what's the out.
It's like punching yourself. We put you in a bag with wild dogs and cats and threw you in a river.
Paid employees loved it.
It was Javier Bardem. No, I'm disappointed it's Javier Bardem.
Right. Probably because of the 10 minutes notice before recording.
They were extra invaluable in Spain because, well, Jose grew up in Spain and Jesse grew up all over the world and is very fluent in Spanish as well. Yeah, very helpful. And of course, I too. And you have a knack for Spanish.
He's good at it.
No, if you need to go to a library. Excuse me, la biblioteca.
I'm a fan fave. I can do whatever I want.
You should not have told me I was a fan fave. That was a big mistake.
We have three fans in this episode. Three fans. Which is one more than usual because they were all great.
Yes.
We must continue.
There's more to do!
He's great. Unbelievable. The whole week, we'd check back in with him and be like, because he's... TV, TV's great. What a medium. But he's a movie star.
He was like, it was like handling plutonium.
Cinema. And bilingual. He's the master of the Spanish cinema as well as now the English language. So we'd be like, are you sure? Because... Also, it was physically demanding, the things, and we were going to shoot with Javier Bardem.
I can't wait to see this. He finally just was like, listen, I am yours for the day. Yeah. I will go start. And we started at 7 a.m. Yeah, 7 a.m. We met him at the Prado. The Prado Museum. Prado Museum. They would only let us in before they opened their doors. And right through till the evening. He's my hero.
Love that guy.
I...
For me.
Take it easy. He was incredible.
Good to see you. Hi, Sona.
Yes. Yeah.
You're a room fave. Room fave. I like being a room fave.
And he still and he produces everything in the field, everything on the ground. And it's my favorite. One of my favorite things is when we zero in on potential countries. So he'll call, you know. Spain, he'll call the fixers there and he'll talk to two or three. Fixers, the people that arrange everything. There's a registry of television producers where he'll get recommendations. I see.
And he has this, I always like talking to him because he has this unerring sense of it. And he's like, I talked to three people. I got a really good sense, a really good feeling about, you know. The second one. Yes. And he's always, they're always great. Wow. Yeah.
There's tons of improvising.
I missed the drop at the hotel. And he's like, you know, you kind of live in the town. I assume you have a washer and dryer. Amazing guy.
Really? And that kept COVID going.
I was off by two years. 1725. And the food is very good. They're famous for their suckling pig, which... And so there's an actual room where they're mass-cooking suckling pigs, and they're all up on these little plates all around this room where they get re... They kind of heat them up again right before they go out, so... I have to say... That room was amazing.
Yeah, they're all very charming. Yeah. Well, you know, a lot of the legwork's done. when you talk to your fans here on the podcast. So we all get a really good, I mean, you know, like in Spain, Bruno, the airplane pilot. Do you remember him? Yeah, I remember Bruno. See, see, see? Well, so then it's kind of like, uh, duh, let's go visit Bruno. Wasn't he like really dashing or something?
He was unflappable. Yeah, he he he was a good advertisement for him. For him as a pilot, he was very large and in charge.
What color are they? What are they sponsored by? What's on their sled?
It's like you're shipping something somewhere and it's got to get there fast.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
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You would just slide down the track into a crowd of people dressed in black.
I'm wearing denim, yeah.
What is that in American temperature?
One Canadian dollar, 69 US cents.
That's a little rough. That's a little rough. Sorry. Did you bring your dog to the podcast?
How do you even get into bobsled? You call it bobslaying?
Hi, Yusra. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi, Yusra. How are you?
There's that robotan arrogance. I love it. You are so arrogant.
Conan, what I'm hearing is maybe what you're getting to is you want to know, where are the clubs? Are you going to take them to the clubs?
Oh, my God.
Desiccated.
I was going to say, I didn't want to mention it, but I heard you say the lest is history.
Did we mention that it's for achievement in comedy and it's given at the Kennedy Center? American comedy. Yeah, that's why. I don't know if we mentioned what the Mark Twain Prize was.
Someone lied to you.
No.
Yeah. For the most know-it person who should never use the word Riz.
No, we got to stop. They just took the award away. They're here to take it away because I said Riz or both.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There were a lot of old characters.
Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to give anything away, but there's a lot of, you know.
Yes.
Will there even be one again? We don't know. Who gets it next year?
Look at me now.
Who won that one?
Didn't it feel like a funeral, kind of? Sorry, doesn't it feel like we were eulogizing you in a way?
She said it felt like we were eulogizing you and kind of did.
I don't know.
A bowl. No one eats lasagna out of a bowl.
It went off.
That's when it started going downhill.
I love it. And you were really, really funny.
And she co-created Party of Five, which for my generation is, you know...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, there are no stakes, really. I mean, and also, I don't know if you felt this too, but that's one of the most nerve wracking speeches, though, just to talk to you about how much you mean to people. That's a very awkward speech to do.
Your kids were there. Liza was there.
I know.
I had no idea who was going to be there.
Kumail Nanjiani.
There's pictures.
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
You guys know that things are documented.
It was very cool. It was nice of you to acknowledge that.
Well, I didn't want to. Oh, okay. Well, there's a lot of uncertainty there, too.
Uh, yes, that is a correct assumption. So yeah, I've literally just, um, come off the air. That's not my show. Um, yeah. I'm kind of like the Matt and or Sona of the show.
Do you get recognized at all when you walk around? Only if I talk, because people don't really know what I look like. They've only ever heard me. So, yeah. they're usually pretty disappointed when they see what I look like.
I can't say that's happened to me, but I did once when I was on a plane, and everybody's doing the overhead baggage situation, that kind of pre-flight jostle around. Somebody at that point said, hey, are you Glenn off the radio? And, you know, so then I had that moment of, oh, no, am I about to be stuck sitting next to somebody who is a big fan of the show? That could go either way.
But luckily, New Zealanders are pretty shy. And yeah, he left me alone.
This is a New Zealand thing, right? So, you know. U.S., you know, you guys love to put people on a pedestal. You love to be the person on the pedestal. Yes, yes. In New Zealand, the tall poppy syndrome is, you know, is live and large. I see. And so, yeah, once anybody gets too successful, you know, then it's up to the rest of us to pull them down to our level. Okay.
We all think we could be the prime minister if we just gave it a go, for example.
Well, so because I work in breakfast radio, I have to arrive here at the station about 3.45 a.m. Nope. So that means my alarm goes off at 2.52. Hard pass. Oh, my God. So, Sona, you don't want a job at Breakfast Radio?
So it's the largest city in New Zealand, and it's in the North Island. So about I guess two-thirds, four-fifths of the way up, something like that, of the North Island.
As soon as I can. Yeah, all I ever want to do is be asleep. So generally about quarter past 8. Okay. I try and get a little nap in in the afternoon after lunch. Yeah. Depending on, you know, what's going on in my life, because otherwise by, yeah, about 6 p.m., I'm not making any sense at all. Yeah.
Yeah. So I have a wife and two daughters, grown up daughters. They did both actually leave and go off to university and then both came back again. How do you feel about that, Glenn?
Yeah, I think Matt picked up on a little tone there. There was about a six-week period when my wife and I were empty nesters and we just sat around frequently just looking at each other saying things like, hey, what do you want for dinner? And we'd say, oh, no, just a toasted sandwich would be fine. Sure. And everything was nice and casual. You're not cooking for anybody.
You're not, you know, driving people around to places and then, you know, Six weeks went by and then it all went out the window again.
They're back in the house. Then one of them broke up with their boyfriend and moved back in.
Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. I love these girls, right? Yes. But so Billie, for example, she has her master's in classical performance music and clarinet. And so she's gone on to be a teacher. She teaches other kids how to play clarinet and she also plays piano and teaches piano, teaches saxophone. And sometimes she does this in our house while I'm trying to get that afternoon nap.
So, you know, it would be great if that was just happening. And the other daughter loves clogging.
Well, maybe. So when I told my family that I was coming on this podcast, and I said, you know who Conan O'Brien is, right?
And they were kind of semi-blank stares. They sort of had an idea. And I explained, you know, Conan, he's a famous, you know, late show host, you know, you know. And my youngest daughter said, oh, he's not one of the bad ones, is he? He didn't do something bad, did he?
And not clarinet, which is great. She's a great clarinet player, but it's like SpongeBob and Squidward, right? There's only so much that you can take and then...
I mean, you are taller than both of them, so they would be looking out to you. You know, sometimes...
Yeah. One of my daughters was just saying the other night they just rewatched the monorail episode.
There you go. I know.
Right. Well, Auckland is known as the City of Sails. because we're surrounded by a beautiful harbour. We have a harbour bridge that's kind of like a little version of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The reason that you've only ever met nice New Zealanders is because we send all the horrible ones to Australia.
the big country star Luke Combs on the show just this week.
Do your kids know who Luke Combs is? I really hope not. I'm not a huge fan myself of country music, but... Wow.
Oh, wow. So the question is, Conan, could you get up early enough in the morning to come in and be on a breakfast show? Of course I could.
You can see why I was so taken aback. Because I've been listening for pretty much the whole duration of the podcast. Yeah, I know. I was kidding about the whole advice thing. I just wasn't expecting you to ask for it.
Like I say, New Zealanders, we just like to fade into the background.
We do. There is a guy called Chris Parker, who is a tall, redheaded comedian in New Zealand. And people might think that you're him if they don't know that you're you. OK, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. As long as he's well liked, I'll take it. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's very he's he's very popular.
That'll work well. Except in New Zealand, we have this thing. So you know the rule of six degrees of separation, right?
that everybody knows everybody in the world because you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody, blah, blah, blah. Well, in New Zealand, we call that rule two degrees. So like I said, there's only 5 million people here. So we know somebody who knows somebody. So chances are you'll go into that restaurant and Chris Parker will actually be sitting there anyway. Yeah.
And that's one of the main reasons why I wanted to be on your show, Conan, because, you know, you've talked to all these fantastic people, you know, people like Jeff Goldblum, people like Harrison Ford. And now I'm only two degrees away from those people. It's fantastic. Aren't you just one degree away? Well, I know you.
He certainly sounded like he was trying to separate himself a little bit further away during the podcast.
I've been trying to get them to watch Conan Must Go. Trying to get them to watch. Yes.
Like a PowerPoint.
Yes. So you can stand in front of a green screen with a pointer. Yeah. And, you know, here's the monorail on The Simpsons. Here's me looking a Norwegian in the street. Yeah. The whole arc of my career.
And then here's the house.
Yes. Away from the house or the flat as we would call it in New Zealand.
That would be a dream.
There's so much water that's almost spilling. Hi, Micah. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
Natural woods, Micah. I see you have those famous Dutch books.
Well, you guys got it all.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
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That's my favorite food and you're somehow making it off-putting.
I can't believe there might be a point in the future where the three of us are faces that close together. We're going to.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
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Hey Dan, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. What? I couldn't remember if it was friend or fan.
There's three mouthpieces here. This is like the equivalent of sharing a milkshake except for a thruple at a Grateful Dead show.
It's a chill chums bong so you all can take a hit at the same time.
It's the bull, right? It's not a stopper.
But go ahead and show us where the stopper is.
Is this a gerbil? What? Those are gerbils, yeah. Oh my God. You put Charles in there. Let's talk of gerbils. This is incredible. This thing is, we need to take Bley.
What are you saying? How does this get in your butt with these three things in the way? What's your butt like?
I just see a bong. You two are insane.
We have Conan's doodle on there. We've got the old... We've got Late Night Moon and Stars, Team Coco branding, Conan on TBS branding. It's got a big cockatoo kind of glass... It could be a pompadour.
That's the real question. Do you think we'll ever actually three? Yes, we will. Does it work? I think we will.
You said that to me like, get over myself.
I want to drink anything. There's no drinking when it comes to bogs. There's no drinking. You said, oh, you take a sip here. Can I just say one thing?
He's also made some glasses here. We have some glasses.
And then he made special drinking glasses for each one of you. This is really—I'm—God. Sona, this is yours here. Oh! Gorgeous. And this is for Conan. It's obviously the biggest one. Oh, my God. And then Matt here. The smallest. Yeah, these little goblins.
A special extra gift for Sona. Oh, that's nice.
Is it safe to drink out of? Dan, can I drink out of this? Okay. Yeah, you can drink out of it. How long did it take you to build that bong?
Yeah, that's incredible.
I'm glad I made it to you guys.
Okay, sweet. Sona's salivating.
The way you do it or just doing it in general?
Hi, Nikhil. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Although it's still probably okay.
Bring one up. Yeah, bring one up.
But it doesn't bother you that your picture is associated with people just going pee-pee and poo-poo? No, no, those are beautiful.
No, you're not. No, you're not, Cooper. You can't lie about the Civil War.
Civil War reenactment.
You can meet someone at a Civil War reenactment. You've done a Civil War reenactment.
And she was like, hi.
I know. Why did you choose to be Booth?
I might stop saying who it actually was.
Oh, I want to go. Yeah.
Can you postpone the wedding till after the Oscars?
Okay, let's do it.
Yeah. You know, Sona means gold in Hindi. Okay, no one cares.
We're talking about India. And my name means gold.
All right, well. It's just cool.
Come on. It probably...
Andean cock of the rock.
Three waddled bell bird.
No, no, no. You know what? You're right. And I get it. And I own that about myself.
If I don't understand it, I don't like it.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.
Making fun of his interest. I am not!
Is it the pink city? Yeah, it was very pink.
He's really having a really sweet moment talking about India. I couldn't help it.
Hi, Alejandra. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
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I think if we just use just kind of foggier voices like that. Yeah. Now you just sound.
9, yeah, starting at 9. I'm asleep by then. No, no, I'm serious.
Yeah, what time do you go to bed? And are you going to bed just in full digestion mode where...
In the best times of our lives.
Are you talking about golf clubs?
You know what? I love that. I'm back, baby.
Young and hip again. Your children are nowhere to be found, but you're back.
I'm angry about that.
We're on the same team. You're tearing our team even further apart.
I know, that is kind of.
You know, chill chomps when I was drunk. Yeah. I was happy I was drunk and I was also frustrated I wasn't also a little high. Yeah.
I'm like Winnie the Pooh with the honey pot.
Yeah, okay. All right. I like this game.
That's nice. I want to belay you guys.
Yeah, I want to belay. I want to be in charge of your life.
Oh, yeah. I was going to say Josh Holme.
Oh, no, I was thinking Josh Holme from... Queens of the Stoners?
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.
Yeah, I like that idea. I think we should do this team building thing. I think that would really bring us closer together.
We weren't even planning on going?
Yeah, I think that you would be arrested if a lot of the things that you said were relieved. What are you talking about?
Well, she's asking if you ever turn your mental illness off, but it's actually much more amplified a lot of times.
Sorry, I know. I'm just using what Leanne said. Yes, your gift.
Oh, snap. Snappity-dappity. Ouchy-wouchy.
Oh, I will follow up on this.
Oh, God. What? Why is that your first impression?
I'm not trapped in a celebrity bubble. No, I'm not even adjacent to it.
I've got some notes. You have notes?
That was perfect. Yeah. Yeah, I got a few notes.
That's an intimidating room. To be up on that stage and looking at all those people must have been intimidating.
Yeah, I, you know, I was really, um, you can say it. I know I was a little nervous for you and it was weird not to work it. It's one of the, you know, those big events that I would normally have worked. I didn't work at the event.
I brought tack and we were sitting next to Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.
We were behind the complete unknown cast.
Yeah, we were in the fourth row. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo were just a few rows ahead of us.
I think you made a mistake.
I really think you made a mistake. And I just didn't move the whole time because I was like, I can't draw attention.
Yeah, and also, every time you'd come up, Tac would be like, yeah, Conzi! And I'd be like, stop talking. You can't do that here, it's the Oscars.
Behind, Oprah! Oprah sat behind you!
Better seats than Oprah.
How did that happen? So, you know, Erica Brown was there as well, who works on the show. And I was like, we have to get you to meet Oprah. So we were following her.
Twice. Twice.
And, you know, she's from Jackson, Mississippi. Everybody back home is just like, oh, my God. And so, you know, I was like, we'll just walk by her and I'll like push you into her. You know, like just like.
So we were following Oprah and then she just disappeared.
And I think she went out of like a special exit, you know.
But it was really exciting to just be there in the audience watching you and just like hearing the jokes for the first time. You know, I mean, it was it was awesome. It was really, really cool. And everybody around was talking about how great you were doing.
Yeah.
How much of this show do you guys write?
Yeah, but like the rest of the Oscars have a different writing.
Were you guys in a tent?
So you guys are on the fly, just, like, coming up with things.
Yeah, we were real pleasant leading up to your mind works constantly when you're focused on something. And, you know, I feel like a lot of times when you're getting your creative energy out, you're just making fun of us more than you normally would.
Do you feel that way too, Matt?
I felt like it was just. A cloud of anger.
It was just elevated.
So it was a real joy for all of us who work for you.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Good to see them all again.
It was a nice reunion. It was really, really nice to see everybody.
A room set up just to make fun of people.
What's next? I mean, you've hosted the Emmys. You've hosted the Emmys.
Latin Grammys. Yeah.
Two baskets, naughty and nice, and they can make the choice, but they have to choose one.
And we could make a chart of, like, who went naughty and who went nice. Cher went naughty. Jane Fonda went naughty. Oh, that's fine. Colby Hahn went nice. You guys keep saying Cher.
Blay, you know that a rap light is just an indication. You go as long as you want.
It's a whole party full of people that gets bisected.
It's like, no, it's some line on the ship that gets broken and then like 50 people at a 1920s party just get severed in half and that becomes the ghost ship.
They put actual pieces of gold in here. And actual pieces of Hailey Bieber.
It's red. I like the joke. Thank you.
Hold it up and look at the bottom. That's her blood.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
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Thursdays.
I want to find out what's going on. Do you have any exhibit A's?
I just want to say Sona and I have your back at all times.
They look kind of saturated with oil or something.
We should be trying some of these. I know you're not supposed to eat on podcasts.
It looks like a vagina. This looks like a vagina. And in the ear.
Just a skinny dipped dark chocolate peanut butter cup.
Nice!
You just attacked her for 10 minutes straight. I know, what?
In every term of Musk, you're not the Musk.
You just knocked both of the gluten-free brothers on the floor.
And Irwin.
There's no mushroom jerky in there.
Try the seaweed. And is it possible that we start kind of tailoring it to what we think the guests would like? Because this all seems very Woody Harrelson to me, but not necessarily. Oh, this is awful.
God, I've never seen him so charged of all the things. Maddie, do you taste test these?
No, you don't.
Really?
This is bullshit.
My daughter eats these seaweed things and they're not anywhere near as good as these ones.
Right. Have you ever seen Ghost Ship where everybody gets bisected by a metal cable? That's kind of what this is.
I have an update from this person I will not name. OK, that's OK. I asked, is Ryan's roses fake? It is right. And the person said, depends on who is asking and what they would want to use this information for.
I don't want to jeopardize their standing.
We're back after having an off mic discussion.
That was my superlative in high school, most legally dubious.
Well, there's usually some big city ex-boyfriend that they've got to kind of like get out from under, but barely.
Do you think you could star in a Hallmark movie?
And don't sell yourself short. You've disappointed all of us as well. I was calling. Listen, you are my core fan base.
What would your situation, if you're the star of a Hallmark movie, what's your situation? Who are you meeting? Where are you going? Who are you leaving? Well, geez. Okay.
Well, you have Conan O'Brien written on your hand currently.
What was that like? Was he what was he like?
A woodsman. Not even an outdoorsman. You have the specific trait of a woodsman.
We thought we might initiate a series of staff reviews here at Team Coco facilities. We're going to start with your producer, longtime producer, Jeff Ross.
So anyway... So wait, it's back on there? Just like an old dry pig ear?
Okay, let me get back to the review part of it. Could I just do a segment of reviewing the staff reviews? Because I have a couple notes. Hold it. But listen.
Well, when something's quizzical or skeptical, one falls out.
Totally painless. All right. Foreskin on the table.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
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But should it be that you are in a current relationship with a kind of mean, snobby academic and you go to a rural area and suddenly you meet this, let's say like a nature guide, a woman who's like does whitewater rafting and breaks you out of your shell and you don't know what to do and you frolic and she finds the real you.
Yeah. And then you leave her and go back to the office.
Hi, how are you? I'm good. Hey, I want to bring up something that was a direct quote from you just now. You just said, in this room, when I see a Hallmark movie, I watch it.
How soon is she going to be single?
And then you guys kind of get marooned on a little forest island and you have to like kind of spend the night and make a fire together and stuff like that.
Like a mama owl puts its wings over the baby owl's ears.
So you're prepared to admit that and you're good?
It's sad that these cheaters are fake and that they're not real cheaters. What was the show?
But this isn't like Santa Claus. This is good news that this is fake.
Well, you know it better than I do, because I, yeah.
I just texted a deep source within Ryan's Roses. And I asked this person if it was fake. And hopefully by the time this interview is over, we'll have at least their denial, if not admission. Okay. This is good.
I'll say this is Ryan. Yeah. It's what we've been doing. Maybe he doesn't know. Yeah. He could be Nixon, innocent.
I love the frolic room. I'm sorry.
Yeah, I mean, it's a historic bar in L.A. It's like a really cool spot.
So you've been more than once in the bar aspect of it where I've had drinks there and I've partied and I, you know, I love it there.
I mean, I enjoyed I enjoyed places. Yeah. Yeah.
It's not about your eyes.
You just wear your, everybody knows what you're thinking.
Yeah. Yes, you're a giant mood ring.
What? The bin of balls at Chuck E. Cheese. They just changed your camera. No!
Is it T9 texting? You have to press each button until the letter pops up? Yes.
Wait, no bits? You just send a reply with no bits?
No, the whole point is that they can't. That's why it's a burner phone.
And I have your number too. And Jeff has it. Where are you going to go? What are you going to do?
But what does that even mean?
But you're also very recognizable. So people will like see you and maybe someone who knows Liza will just be like.
That's a good disguise.
Yeah. Every single person. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't.
We'd be like Santa Monica before she even asked us.
Yeah. Like he's eating here.
Isn't it kind of nice, though, not to like be obsessed with looking at your phone?
Can you tell us? Maybe they'll send us a bunch.
I want a flip phone. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm actually inspired to get one.
I don't want a smart phone. No. I want a, yeah, I want no email. I want no apps.
Flip it up. Yeah. What's the what's the slogan? Hey, so are you saying that flip town?
Well, I don't think that's... You went to flip town.
The flip flop isn't good because a flop means it didn't go well. I'm trying to... I came up with a good slogan for it. Just say flip town.
I do. It's all over the place.
Yes. A lot of products. Waxes and Eastern oils. Why are they Eastern?
You know what? I'm the one who moved. Everything is different for me. You don't even look at the camera when we're recording most of the time. Nothing's changed for you.
Shouldn't we get one of those lorgnettes? I didn't even know that was the word for it.
You know, a bin of balls just tells me you've never been to a birthday at Chuck E. Cheese.
You know, I will take you. I also used to hear one time a kid died in a ball pit. And I think it was suffocated. Yeah. Yeah. Like they got stuck underneath them. But it's not true. It's an urban legend.
We should just cut that part out, but that's what I heard. And did you ever hear that?
But the ball pits are all gone now, too. Oh, that's sad.
Stop saying bin of balls. It's just sad.
Do you guys hang out without me?
Sometimes you might forget that.
So you might forget that sometimes.
What did he just say? What did he just say earlier? Shut the fuck up.
I do think, you know... I know, maybe that was, you know... Okay, sorry, go ahead.
You missed the Ford Taurus part of it.
I think you know, okay, la, la, la, la, la, we have to like talk when the microphones are on. But sometimes I just want to catch up with you guys because I'm actually your friend.
We're friends. And sometimes it's okay to just catch up.
Well, I didn't say that. I did not say that.
I love you, Adam. And can I say something to bounce off of what Adam just said?
No, because I have something to add to it.
Do all your machines make noises like that? Yeah.
The car fucker. Yeah. Red onesie, the car fucker.
I feel like you're just talent.
I'm saying you're not someone who's like making like, hey guys, let's wheeling and dealing decisions. I'm doing it.
Yeah. You're the face of this company.
Who's going to watch the levels?
We're going to do the levels.
I was just... I was breathing.
You've been doing this for so long that I'm surprised you don't know how to talk into a microphone properly.
Wait, I'm sorry. What was buffering?
Off of what Adam just said, how often during when we were taping the show did you hold up rehearsal because you were noodling on your guitar so much? And isn't that kind of the same thing? We both have a process.
Do you know how to force quit?
Are you comparing yourself to Prince? Yes. It's the same thing. You do podcasting.
I'm just saying you wouldn't know what's wrong because you don't.
Just admit it. Just admit you bring soups from the old country.
You were the first one to spill all over this, and it was like a full glass of water.
You know what's funny is I'm thinking of khash, which would come with like a hoof. Yeah.
I'm trying to share with you. That's all I'm trying to do.
Look, it's just because I like you. You don't like it when I have a good time sometimes.
I always have to clear my throat.
This is a bigger conversation about how you, the work environment you've created. Yeah. And how we can't comfortably speak. So I'm glad you brought this up.
Fucking thumbs up. Come on in. It's not wrong.
This is kind of like us having Miller time. You know what?
I hear they have a good B2B model.
Yeah. Cock was so aggressive. Yes.
This is part of my process.
I have a process. Can I say something, though? I think you always forget, out of the three of us, I'm the least... Professional.
I'm not talking. So I, you know, like completely checked out because it's not coming out of your mouth.
I mean, it's unheard of that anything I would say would have any.
Yeah.
You don't even hear words coming out of my mouth like when I'm talking.
You should.
Yeah. Let's get some Ralph Fiennes content.
He's still got it, and he can get it.
He can get it.
Yeah.
He can get this.
Yeah, I know. I'm not going to fuck Ralph Fiennes. I mean, it's not going to happen. I shouldn't have said it, so I'm not going to make love to him.
He would be. If there was any chance of him coming on, I think I just killed it, right?
That killed it.
That killed it. No, no, that killed it. You don't know.
I think it's because they're not, you know, they don't do enough. Like, he needs to, like, hook up with, like, you know, Selena Gomez. What? Yeah, yeah. Like, something needs to happen.
You just want to talk about Benny Blanco any chance you can get.
That's pretty close.
Does it mean if I say she draws like a 10-year-old?
You do?
I mean, no offense to Amanda.
Yeah, you hooked me up.
Yes.
They had to, I think, sit on the edge of the seat.
Oh.
I'll have to get back to you on that.
Yeah. This is accurate.
He was pooping in the potty and he had the pee pee.
We should do this. We should predict what people are going to wear and stuff.
So those aren't the only three AAA listeners. No, no. Those are the only ones we did. Yeah.
I know.
I love her so much.
Yeah, we do that. We talk about, I mean, Ruthie's the one who's kind of spearheading it. And she goes around and makes a list of what people are going to dress up.
No one ever talks about you.
You just never come up.
I think they forget that you do this podcast sometimes.
You do.
You're like a Steve Jobs.
No, no, no. I meant like just like wearing the same stuff a lot.
I love that you're talking about Benny Blanco sliding into your DMs while you're talking to Benny Blanco. That just made me laugh.
Bits right away.
Yeah.
Someone would be rude enough to just be like, hey, old guy, why are you at this party? You know?
Yeah. All the women are undressing.
Yeah.
You just shouldn't go to those parties. If someone invites you, just don't go.
Who knows? You could be. You could go to a party where Benny Blanco and Selena are.
Yeah.
Oh, my. I don't even know if I can like say give it justice because I was talking about something and you were talking about something and you were talking.
Yeah. Okay. So there were eight people. It started with eight people. Okay. First, you're up against Jennifer Lawrence. So, you know. Who I love and who's hilarious. The other people are Paul Rudd, Shaq, Idris Elba, Gordon Ramsay, Jennifer Lawrence, Lorde, and Ariana Grande.
And these are all really memorable Hot Ones episodes. I mean, you know.
And they really chose such flattering pictures of everyone.
You would want this picture. Yes.
Your funeral when they have pictures on the... Yes!
Oh, my God. Yeah. A lot of things they can etch on your tombstone.
Jesus. Oh, my God.
There could also be a little masturbating bear. Your tombstone could be a freak show. Yeah.
I mean, it's just all the stuff in your mind.
This clown.
You can fit it in, right?
Maybe I can do it.
Maybe I can do it.
What is the picture saying?
It's insulting.
I have an idea of how this happened.
When, you know, you get a lot of fan mail.
And it's the job of your assistant to take the fan mail, get the autographed picture, and then do it. Yes. Sometimes, and this is my fault, I would take too long to show you the thing so you would do it. But at that point, it may have been like a year after we got the actual letter. So somebody may have sent a letter asking for it.
Liked you enough to ask for a picture but didn't take the picture with him or her.
Why is Conan here? We've got beef now.
I want to just congratulate you because you got something called Dab of the Decade.
Yeah, you have been voted by the people as the top guest on Hot Ones in their entirety of the whole run.
Look at that.
You were up against Ariana Grande in the last round. And there's a picture of the two of you.
And her picture, she's stunning. She looks gorgeous and stunning and she's beautiful. And you, like right underneath her, you're this crazy person and there's milk just coming out of your mouth. A monster. A true monster. An absolute monster.
You just might think they're looking at you.
They're probably looking at me.
they look at you happily and they look at me like what's happening over here so when i whenever i say anything it's always they immediately want me to shut up because they want to hear from you no i think there's something about you that makes people think that they could just immediately just be not shitty but like joke around with you like i i'm saying you're back now and i'll take
Yeah.
And I mean, yeah, we're starting off with a big one.
I know this was one of those like special days where I was like, I'm going to remember this forever. Just being here talking to her. It's amazing. I just.
Yeah.
And I responded by saying, you don't have to. You're right. We don't have to try to fill those... gigantic shoes, is what I'm saying.
Yeah, and then you made a joke about later on listening to a clip from Walton Jodgins, and that didn't make sense.
How does it make sense? I said bang-ger, it would be gawkins. I'm pretending that there's no such thing as a hard G, that everything's a soft G. Okay, so I'm going to channel Conan and be like, it's good that you have to explain what your joke is. We're starting with a banger. So, you're French and you still got the hard G in there? I did. Banger. Banger. Banger. Banger. Banger.
That's amazing.
Like a total pro. And also, there are moments when everybody's on their best behavior. Yeah. You know, like we're all like dressed a little nicer. We're all not goofing off.
And yeah, we had the same amount of gravitas towards her as we would a president, a first lady.
Conan's so jealous right now.
Make sure it's done right. You should bring a friend in who has the right butt and then have them do it.
Yeah, that's pretty good. Okay.
Yeah, basically.
No, I'm just saying, you could borrow the one she uses for Reno 911. All right, maybe I can, do you have a name for it?
Al Pacino.
Can I tell you, I love Niecy Nash, and I love Reno 911, and I had no idea that was a fake butt until that conversation.
That little guy?
He is, I know.
So he talked about it before...
That's insane.
Oh, man, that's awesome. I loved when Niecy Nash was here because I've always loved Reno 911. Me too. And she was just like, she had that energy the whole time. You really missed out. It was so much fun. You really, really missed out. Yeah. Do you ever?
I hate missing recordings.
Do you? I really don't have much going on besides this. So I just, I really don't miss very many, but I have missed a couple. And I always have big time FOMO. There was one. I remember I was just like, I wish I was here for that.
Oh, a FOBJ?
FOBJ. Where did the J come from?
I have to say, when we find out who gets booked on this show, there's an email sent to all of us just being like, this person got booked on this day. And it's very rare for me to respond and just be like, I'm really excited, even though I am. But this one, I replied to everybody on the email, including, I think, probably SiriusXM employees and like a lot of other executives who don't,
care about my opinion the guest himself and i was just like i cannot wait for this episode i think you said something like little baby billy no that wasn't me i forgot what i said i i can't remember but i feel like you said little baby billy i don't know yeah but then everybody else started responding it's like it every single person was excited about this
Anti-climactic.
Hello, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Sorry, we just ate and there was a little gurgle there and I really apologize. And if you didn't notice it, now everyone's rewinding so that they can hear it. Why am I talking? Can I start over again?
Oh, I love him. Did you watch Vice Principals?
Just dripping. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love him. Yeah. I think I love every single role he's in, and if I hear he's in something, I will watch it.
Yeah, that's why I watched Fallout, even though I never knew anything about the video game.
He has, like, barely a face.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you haven't watched it, you should. It's really good. Okay. Yeah.
I know. We were all waiting for Woody to get here, and he explains it in this clip, right? I mean, that's what the clip is.
I take Ted Danson over a real doctor. Thank you.
Do you ever, after we leave, are you like, -"I want to be friends with you so bad." -"Oh, yeah." I feel every once in a while, someone will come in and they'll leave and I'll be like, we could be, we could have such a good friendship together. I thought about that with Mila Kunis.
I thought about that with a few other people, but Mila Kunis jumps out because we, I feel like we really bonded when she came on here. But with them, I really just like would love to just go to dinner parties with them and just be friends.
Oh, really? Oh, my God. And he was there.
I would love to.
Yeah. And this moment is a very Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry David moment.
You're just like, this would be a plot point in Curb.
Oh, Conan. Yeah.
He doesn't even pretend to take, hey, I need to talk to you about something.
Yep. Yep. And we'll be back next time with Conan, right?
Yes, we are sending a lot of love to all the O'Briens and the Reardons on the East Coast. It's all of Conan's whole family is out there. And yeah, it's a really hard time. But also they lived very long, very beautiful lives, made a huge impact on everybody and made a huge impact in their fields. And they're going to be missed. And I mean, this is the end of the year, too, really, isn't it?
I know it's the holidays and everybody take it easy out there and enjoy yourselves and we'll start fresh next year with good attitudes okay good attitude because we usually have bad attitudes or I don't know why are you questioning I'm sorry I was just it was an odd thing to say but yeah 2025 here we come happy holidays Matt happy holidays Sona you know you're like my sister You know what?
I feel like we have a brother-sister relationship now.
We've been doing this for a while and you're my favorite part of this podcast.
You know what? Just like sitting across and looking at you whenever Conan says something silly.
Which is all the time.
We're just like two kids in church just like making each other giggle.
You would have been fine.
Oh, well, that's nice. I'm quitting next week.
I know.
Yeah. We have a good team.
We do. I don't want to sit in this chair again.
There's something about this chair that makes me uneasy. I like being over in the corner, just like not saying anything. That's right.
Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Sona Movsesian.
And you're Matt Gourley.
Yes. And then I don't do this usually. But, you know, Conan is not here in case anyone has noticed. It's me talking. I'm Sona. I am not Conan. And the reason that he's not here.
Yeah, I think I saw that. And also, I love that it just cuts to you just so you could say, wow.
I know. Can you believe that we get to do that?
And also not in this kind of like atmosphere. And you could, I mean, I can tell just from looking at that clip how I was feeling. And I was like, just don't say anything. Don't move. Don't do anything dumb.
I know.
Really?
And it's a three-hour movie.
I can't believe that was like... You watched it early on. I would never... I don't know. I was watching, like, Goonies.
I know. That was really cool.
Yeah.
I know.
Yes.
You know what? Yeah. Tom Hanks is next. And I was walking by and he was just standing in the hallway and somebody introduced me. I think it was Paula who introduced me to him. And then he said, what's the first car you ever drove and what's the car you're driving now? And it was just such a like, I'm sure that's a question he asks a lot of people just to like just had that ready to go.
He had that ready to go, and it was so cool, but also made me reflect that my first car was like a broken down Jetta, and now I drive a minivan. So it's like my evolution.
Oh, I was. I had three Jettas before. Yeah, I have. I was a Jetta girl for sure.
Is that a compliment? Yeah.
Did you just read the description?
The reason Conan is not here is he's back east with his family. He unfortunately lost both his parents not that long ago, so he's taking some time away. So Matt and I are holding the fort.
Yes. I really need him to be here just to make this easier and more smooth. But I kind of like the vibe.
It's easy going. There's just the five of us here. Adam's with us and Eduardo and Blay. And we're just reading pizza and we're just hanging out.
Jesus, Matt.
Yes.
I want to not be here anymore.
Oh, I don't think anybody expects that from you.
What do you mean? Like, it's tough for you to bring around someone who has that?
And it's tough. But in her defense, you eat like an animal. I mean that in a nice way, but the way you eat is... Describe it.
Yeah. Like around three and a half.
First of all, you're angry whenever you're eating. I don't know why. I don't know if you enjoy the food. And then you inhale it as if all of your siblings are just looming over you. They were. But nobody is anymore.
Wow. That's really good, though. Strong presence.
Trolling yourself.
You're your biggest troll.
But why can't it make you happy?
Jim Tan laundry. Yeah. It's just like GTL.
Yeah, you put microphones in front of our faces.
Okay, I figured. Because I saw you eat not that long ago and it's the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to be like, I'm in a bed just crying all day. So, you know, and then they're ready to continue on. And so you're ready to continue on.
It's like the best medicine.
Nah, it's okay. It's okay to just be you.
I think everything feels very heavy right now. For sure. Even if you're not going through something, things just feel really heavy. It's okay to talk about it, you know.
Yeah, actually, he does.
Okay, come on. Why does it all go back to Gil and his mustache?
He's not combing his mustache constantly.
I'm not going to frisk my dad.
Oh, you got it back there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, your house. Where are my Tic Tacs?
No, no, no, I don't. I mean, I even asked if I would still get a discount somewhere. And they're like, oh, we stopped doing that a week ago.
It was like a 20% discount. How long did that last? Was that three weeks? That was like a few weeks. And then I went into a store. I'm not going to say which one, but I was like, hey, I lost my home in the fire. Do you guys have a discount? And they're like, oh, we stopped doing that a week ago.
I think that there's still people. I mean, there's still the empathy there. It's still there. There's still some feeling of it, but it is waning a lot. It is very quick how quickly people kind of just move on.
But you did it. You're taking my discount.
It's not like I had ash ever on my face.
You're not okay. You'd be having a...
Why didn't you work up your orphan angle instead of the fire one? I tried that.
You're apologizing.
You're changing your name? Billy does work better.
Look, I'm on Nev's side.
Yeah, he's chomp, chomp, smack, smack.
But isn't that nice? He's using his imagination. Isn't that the whole point?
Okay. It's all right.
It's fun, though. How fun is that? Isn't that fun? If you're a little kid, you know, you're not going to go to the ocean and go in a submarine. That's I used to make things out of boxes.
I mean, that's kind of cool. We can't get enough air from a vacuum. Oh.
You edit it. You can easily edit out the video.
Also, how do you do that? How do you just take a motor out of a vacuum? Why do they think an eight-year-old would even know how to do that? Okay. I'm asking the real question, but you guys are being nostalgic. I agree.
Well, you stare at me confused.
That's a look that goes back to 2008 questions. We don't think about that. We just live in the moment.
I am completely confused. But I also I mean, I think that every generation has like toys and stuff that like kind of you.
But I was thinking of the spy tech gear. Do you guys remember the spy tech stuff? It was like a bunch of gear that they sold to kids that was supposed to help you be a better spy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a microphone or like a not a microphone, but something you held up so you could hear things from further away.
I know. I think we bought a bunch of it. I don't think any of it worked.
Yeah, on our neighbors. We would go around our neighbors, hide behind bushes and try to spy on them.
No, because they didn't work.
Yes, I was thinking that too. Like a penny for like CDs.
That kid could have been you.
Oh, my God. How about the two of you, you and this person that Matt's talking about, eat. You have a time minimum to eat a meal. And this person... What are we talking about?
Yes, there you go. We'll fix you.
You eat a lot of meals with them? Yeah.
Can we please just actually give you a sandwich and say you can't finish this in less than 10 minutes? That would be hard.
Okay. You know what?
Watch Star Wars again. Okay.
I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm actually dying. My guest today.
A lot of little orphan Annie gets in their text messages.
Oh, man. Sorry. Oh, God. I need to go.
Do people just know that?
I mean, isn't that weird?
You should not ask Conan if you should be on medication.
Dad, I'd like to float. Wait, what?
Well, you know, you know what a MILF is. Oh, yeah. And a DILF is a dad I'd like to fuck. Oh, I didn't know that. I haven't heard the term. A mom is a mom I'd like to fuck and a dad is a dad I'd like to fuck.
Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. It is. It's just, you know, you want to keep things in perspective and say everyone's okay, but you miss the stuff that you lost. The community's gone.
Well, like, so, you know, I mean, a MILF is a hot mom. And this gives me hope.
A DILF is a hot dad.
That's a compliment. That's nice. You guys are two hot dads, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've moved on already. I don't even know if they fully... I mean, I know they remember the house, but they it's starting to be muddled in with like, oh, we went to the mountains once. So that's like maybe the mountain house that we went to. Like they're just they're losing their memory of it. Yeah. And you're like, I don't remember my house at three and a half.
So, yeah, it makes sense that they just kind of.
Are moving on.
So guys think you guys are fuckable.
They want to fuck.
It's there. The house is there.
You know what? I think they're calling and they want to rescind it right now. I think they're on the line. You know who we are?
After we talked about losing our homes, he didn't have the right sneakers. You had sneakers, but not the right sneakers.
Oh, okay, okay.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no. You know what I'm saying?
Fuck each other up.
Oh, you need to do a lot more than that. I know. What do you want?
That's right. I was a target.
Yeah. There's an email that is no longer checked. It's not it's not a working email, but every once in a while someone will check it like once a month, once every two weeks, whatever. It was forwarded to me, but it's an email from Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And it says request for contact information.
Dear Sona, I hope you're doing well.
When you have a moment, could you please share your personal mobile number with me? I have a task I'd like you to assist with. Best regards, Conan O'Brien.
And a baby and a baby, whatever, Bjorn. Yeah. I like it. Let's get that. Dill fight. Yeah.
They want myself.
And so, you know, I mean, it's just but it's also best regards, Conan O'Brien. And then in what world do you not have my cell phone?
I hope you're doing well. You don't hope I'm doing well.
That's the thing. It's like if we were actual functioning adults, that would make sense. But that doesn't you've never ended an email with best regards, Conan O'Brien.
Lately, it's a lot of Benny Blanco. Yes.
You don't know who Benny Blanco is? Where have you been, man? Oh, come on, Matt. Get with it, bro.
Skrillex. Oh, my God. Eduardo's laughing at you so hard. Skrillex. Skrillex. Oh, God.
Okay. My point is. You know what?
You know what? You don't even. Can I just say.
If he does, would you try to like say cool things to him? Yes, I would. Okay. I was just wondering if like.
You be Benny Blanco. Hey, Conan, sup, bro?
Why are you saying Benny Blanco? Why don't you just say, hey, Benny, nice to hear from you.
Then you said, what's the score? Yeah. Sorry, okay, all right. Why are you talking so weird, Conan? I'm just seeing what's up, man.
Hey, Conan, is this really Conan or is this a scam?
Oh, Brewski Aruni, huh? You know what? Actually, I'm busy. I just wanted to check in and I heard you've been talking a lot about me, but I'm not sliding into your DMs. You're old.
Oh, God, I hope not. I won't ever get as old as you.
Yes. Okay. It was really good talking to you. You'll never hear from me again, Conan. See you in the clubs. Oh, God. Don't say clubs. You won't see me in any of the clubs that you think that you would go to. I don't know.
Oh, my God. Diplo.
If Diplo or Benny Blanco or any DJ ever invited you to Vegas for one of their DJ sets, I know it's not your scene. I'll go. You have to go. I'll go. And you have to stand next to them in the booth.
Let's talk about smoking meat.
Pauly fucking Jersey over here, that's why.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not who you are.
With a big hat because it's Vegas and you're probably outside and you're like... Fully covered.
Oh, please end this.
All right. Congrats on being admitted into the Dilfs of Larchmont.
Best regards.
I know. Yeah, there's plenty of those.
AIs that don't make any sense.
I have friends. Not the guys I'm talking to. What? These AIs.
I do. My wife is an AI. Do you... She's a beautiful AI.
I actually think you might be talking about a different person at this point. Who's I'm sure wonderful as well.
I did have a conversation with a Shakespeare AI once. Like, you could go to this website, okay? Matt. Hold on. Don't make fun of me.
No, I don't know. Maybe someone sent it or I heard about it on a show or something. I don't remember. I've never done AI. This was early AI days, though.
But in that universe, you're dead and you can never be on that show except the flashbacks.
I was AI before I was cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We test you and make you stronger. You're welcome. That's what you want. And we're actively trying to drown you. It's called drag.
I married an improviser, too, and this is making me really look back, usual suspect.
What do you mean get a good top out of this show?
It was very frogger. That happens every day.
It does look like you're curling the flowers.
You look like a flower bear at a funeral or something.
You were not only a scout, though.
You're trading my content for this? Shut up. I'm on fire right now. She's on fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sona got her fire badge from just leaving a curling iron on.
No, he's a local boy made good.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
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Look at all the laughs we're having. I rest my case.
Do you want to start it again and then wrap?
It's also weird how you kind of like turned it towards yourself. I don't like it.
I think he's attempting an accent, but it's more of a, like, actual disability.
Yes. Yes, I know. I can I. Oh, I have to mention this Vulture article real quick. OK, because Vulture is my favorite entertainment article. And it said Conan O'Brien will host the 2025 Academy Awards. And at the end, it says now that O'Brien is our official host, we got to ask, will his assistant Sona Movsesian be there? Will she get to be on stage? What happens with Sona Movsesian in all of this?
So it's not just us asking.
You know what? After I said it, I was like, oh, shit. He didn't mention it. No, I quit.
Yeah, I know.
See, this is the type of shit you can have at the Oscars.
Pitch yourself. I am the only person in this among the three of us who knows new things, including new movies.
Yes, exactly. So I think it's a natural fit.
That came out this year. Yeah. Now I'm on the spot and I'm really nervous. Nora, Conclave. I know. Heretic with my boy Hugh. I mean, there's just, look, I can't keep you guys hip. I'm a millennial.
I love Vulture.
Okay, I can't sing.
I can't dance. And you have and you have hard G's. I'm terrible. Yeah, I'm terrible with like if you have like prepared material. Yes. Yes. Anything that requires. I can do any accent.
As Tim Walz. Yeah.
Give me an accent.
South African. French. French. French is like this. I can do French. It's easy. South African. South African. I'm South African. No, you're Australian. I'm South African. Hey, that's not bad. South African. No. Yes. No. District 9. No. District 9.
She's very good. Wait a minute. South African. Okay. Okay.
Austrian. Christoph Waltz is Austrian. What?
Vulture, are you listening? Yeah. It's like a German. No, fuck. I don't know what that was. Shut up. There's too much.
So you don't get paid?
You said Scheiße. No, I thought that was another thing you wanted me to do in action. I crush it with action.
That are like an hour long?
And people watch them?
I know, but they like...
So we're going to be on camera more.
I do. I wear makeup because of the YouTube component.
He wouldn't tell you if there was. I wouldn't tell you if there was. Yeah.
I also love Chalemi coming in. Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
And the crowd says, the Oscars are my Super Bowl.
So when you talk about your face, should we be like, oh, no, you look great.
No, I think you look great. I really do. And I think that I do. I do get self-conscious about like, should I be dressing different? I mean, makeup is a thing. How many people watch these videos? Like.
I am Armenian and Greek. You are Armenian and Greek. And so both of those come with some color.
Well, that's nice. Thank you. I do get self-conscious about my hair. Don't you? I mean, you have. Oh, your hair is a mess. Oh, yeah, it is. It is. But you have iconic hair. Don't you want to like, don't you worry about your poof?
Those will sell like hotcakes, boss.
OK, you know what? How about so the state of the podcast?
We did not change anything after we had that conversation.
I really can see you in that. Come in, brother. Yeah. You're very Mormon-y.
You got a Mormon vibe. You got an LDS vibe. Oh, really? Yeah.
You're welcome.
That's my guess. Yeah, I think so.
I lotion up a lot. You're warm.
You are very warm. Yeah.
Just start going, going. And then we go, oh, I'm a Scottish. I'm a Scottish person. I'm Scottish. Oh, God. Merida, you got to get married. You can't do orchard in Merida. I'm doing brave. And then. Hey, hey, guess what? Guess what?
I can't just, like, think of accents. Can you just tell me accents?
Can I be honest?
I'll do it like Conan. That's not what I do. That's not what I do.
We're killing time here.
You've got four hours where you have to come up with material. No, no, no.
How important are the awards?
Yeah. Nicholson?
I don't think he's been to the last like 15 Oscars.
Yeah, you tell us.
It was this evergreen. Oh, that's right.
Well, you've been tapped to host the Oscars in 2025, which is a really big deal. It's really cool.
I wore it so much the lining was ripping.
It's gone. It was in the house. I did wear it a lot. I felt like, but the Fonz wears his jacket all the time. Like, there's cool people who wear the same jacket.
Yeah, but like, isn't it cool?
Yeah, I know. But I didn't I don't need other jackets. I had a jacket I like.
Well, so I looked and they still sell my jacket.
They do. They still it was like I think I bought it like maybe 10 years ago, but it's like kind of a staple for the brand.
I bought it while I was working.
And it was a splurge for me. So I thought to myself, okay, if I wear it enough, it'll justify how much I spent on it. And so that's part of the reason why you wore it so much.
So anyway, they still have it.
If I do buy another one, are you going to make fun of me? Yes.
Is that as far as you had? That's all you had?
I really thought you were going to go in on him.
I don't know the real you.
It looks so much better on this model.
Look how cool I... That was a cool jacket.
I don't know if I need that anymore.
They do. What's the price? You know what this is?
No, the Terminator wears like a normal motorcycle jacket, doesn't he?
There's other jackets that don't have that detail on it.
I'm scared to say it because I do want to say I did splurge on this. Let me say it. It's $5.50.
I'll bring it in. I will definitely bring it in because I'm going to wear it probably all the time.
But I think it's also the least you could do for me.
Yeah, the one leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking blues. Climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
It's not stupid. It means a lot when you check in and just everybody texting. I haven't been able to even respond. There's people who've texted that I haven't even talked to in years. It feels really good at a time like this to feel like people are thinking about you. Yeah. So it's nice.
Oh.
I need money.
I need lots. Can I live in your house? Can we all come live in your house?
I need this. I know. I'm like, am I?
Oh, I am really glad your house is because the Palisades is also very, very scary.
And I really was worried you were going to lose it. And I know you're not attached to the things in your like you're saying. I'm very attached to the things. Yeah. And I think also if you lost yours, it would overshadow mine a lot. So in a way, I'm like just really happy that you're okay.
I do. I do. I know we talked about Altadena a lot and we talked, we joked about it a lot, but it was, it is a really special place. It was an incredible place to raise my kids. And I just I hope I hope we find a way to get back there. Even after all this, I just know I've lived in L.A. my whole life and I was just that's the happiest I've ever been. Right.
So I just want to make sure people know it's it's a really incredible place. It's an incredible community. The people there are just amazing. The way that also Los Angeles is just banded together is.
As someone who is from here, and girls, I know you're from here too, it's really inspiring. It's beautiful. It's uplifting. There's just little bright spots in all of this shittiness and, you know, the way the city comes together.
My boys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They don't have a clue about what's going on. They think... They think we told them... You know, there's always this like, oh, you should be honest with your kids and tell them. And we're like, no, we're just not going to tell them that their house burned down. I think that that's probably, for us, the right thing to do. I gave them emails when they were babies. So I emailed their future selves.
You know what? We're really lucky. Our family is here. They're all in L.A. We had no shortage of places to go, which is very we're very fortunate for that. There's a lot of people who don't. have anything and don't have any connections. And I think before people think about sending stuff to us, I think you should definitely look into people who really need it.
The boys have more underwear than they've ever had before. They have more socks. I can't stress how many toys they have now. I think they just think that that's their life now. Every day a package comes and there's more toys. And they're just like, this is the best. We're living at Yaya's house. They're like, Just eating. She's feeding them constantly. They're eating.
They're having more screen time and watching more TV than they ever have before. Like, so they're they're happy. We're happy if they're happy. So we're we're OK.
I like a guy who doesn't even... Your true colors are showing. What are you doing?
The links that connect to this episode.
It's cute. Um, It's just going to be in the summary of the episode.
It's okay. It's okay. It's not your fault.
It's fine. We should have given you a script. Anytime links are mentioned, we should just tell you exactly how to say it. And that's on us.
And I said, this is what happened to this house that you were born, you came into when you were first born in the first three and a half years of your life. But they think we're just living... somewhere else until we build a house and they're really into construction. So like Mikey's like, I'll drive the cement mixer and Charlie can drive the excavator. And it's like, you're not going to build it.
Because when I try and do it, it's, you're doing a really great job.
So good. Look at you. And then we threw the word link in there and that there's just got you all frazzled. That's okay.
I love that your son is so fluent in it. It's almost like God played a joke on you.
It is there. It's also... Look, I love my parents, but the moment I step into that house, I'm a 16-year-old angsty teenager, and this time I'm coming with my kids and my husband, but I'm still like... You regress. Everything my mom says, I'm like... And I've been there for only like what, like four days we've been there. And I'm just like, oh, I can't. I can't.
She's cooking a meal for us from scratch.
You know, and I'm just kind of like, mom, you're just you don't get it, mom. It's so much of me just being a kid again.
I become an asshole a little bit. And I think that that's not healthy for anybody. So I don't know how long we're going to last.
Oh, no.
But when we were like texting, a part of me was like, well, my dad, you know, my dad can build a house because he's good with wood because he's because he built my he carved your brother because he wanted a boy, a real boy.
Yes. But... You know you don't. Even if I said, oh, you know what? I'd rather you just did it. Yeah. I think you would last... Right.
Okay, you know what? I think we got to wrap it up. We got to wrap it up.
Well, I don't know about 18. How old are they now?
They're three and a half. And they're, honestly, we're living with my parents right now. They're getting toys every day. I don't think they've ever been happier.
Oh, thanks. Thanks so much for your concern. You're so nice.
Tack's fine. I don't know if it's this like stoic Soviet thing, but he's like... All right, we got to fill this out. We got to do like he's he's sad about his guitars. He lost all his guitars. But one of his friends gave him one, which is really nice. But, you know, he he's like worried about his random. He's like worried about his kettlebell that he got for Christmas.
And he's like, God, I hope I find my kettlebell in the rubble. And I'm like, your kettlebell. We could just go. go get that right now.
He is. He's very worried about me and the boys and how we're feeling. And he's very sweet. And, you know, Oki's fine, too. I know people were probably wondering she's fine, too. She's also like really happy because my dad feeds her a lot of like people food. He'll make a whole meal just for Oki. And so she's like just lounging. Boys are lounging.
Yeah.
Oh my God. So yeah, Tack is, Tack is, Tack's really, he's such a great person. He's such an incredible father and husband and he's been really good. So yeah, we're very lucky. We're very lucky. I told girls this. I was like, we're the luckiest unlucky people because we have others we can turn to when we need to.
Oh, well, thank you. You're okay. I do think... I know there's going to be a point where I have to go, like, see someone because I think I legit... Every time I hear wind, I, like... tense up and it's really nerve wracking.
Yeah. I mean, we are a people. We're in yell therapy, I think, Armenians, my people. But we let it all out. That's very good.
getting it out and uh and i'm lucky i have a lot of friends who i just i you know we'll talk to them or text them and i'll just tell them exactly how i feel and it's nice to have that comfort to be able to talk to people openly about it because yeah it is this is probably and it's also good but this is probably this is the hardest thing i've ever gone through yep
And if this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, then I've been lucky.
Because it's, you know, I can rebuild, but other people have gone through so much worse. So I'm lucky in that sense.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not. It's begun. It's not going to take a long time.
Oh, yeah, that's what I figured. I knew you were saying that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They can get licensed. And I don't think they can.
Can I just say also, I'm really, really happy to come back to work. Because I think this podcast has gotten me through COVID. It's gotten me through fertility treatments. And it's going to get me through this. And I love being in this room and talking with you guys. I love my job. And I'm very lucky that I get to have it. So please don't fire me.
Yeah. And the firefighters.
I mean.
It's our entire street. Our whole neighborhood has just been... just just destroyed it looks like it's hard for me to look at pictures it looks really almost apocalyptic there's just nothing there and we've been talking to all our neighbors everyone's okay um but it is you know we we really loved that community and it's yeah it's really sad that it's all gone yeah
I think that's the thing, too, is that you're really sad for other people who also lost their houses. And so you just... You all kind of commiserate together. I'm on a group with 70 other people from Altadena on a WhatsApp group, and we're all talking about what the next steps are. So that's keeping us busy. But you're right.
It's just the number of people I know who lost their homes is... I mean, it's just unthinkable. It's crazy. But thankfully, everybody that we reached out to is safe somewhere. So that's important. But it is... Oh, it sucks.
We put in an insurance claim. It's all this stuff. And people are sending us so much stuff about property taxes, about, you know, what you could do with your mortgage payments, about signing up for FEMA, signing up for this, signing up for that. And it's I think I just I want my kids to go back to their school, which is fine.
Yeah. Tax back at work. I'm back. I want like normalcy. And then we'll probably end up having to rent a house for a while and then, you know, figuring it out. It's just there's like a thousand questions. It's crazy how many.
No, you can't. And that's the thing. It's just there's so much to do. And, you know, I don't like doing anything. And now I have to like fill out forms.
And I have to think about things.
It's just so much stuff to think. I mean... Also, I realized I'm not good under pressure. We saw the flames from the ridge near our house. And we had a friend whose husband works in the LAFD. And she's like, you should probably just evacuate. But everything was moving east and we're west. And then all of a sudden at 3.30 when we were at my mom's house, there was an evacuation order for our area.
And then my alarm company called around 6.00. And they're like, the sensors in the living room and in the master are picking up movement. And I thought, oh, it's that... Can you tell if it's a person or what is it? And she's like, we can't tell. And I asked her, I was like, are they flames? And she didn't know. And then we just... I hung up and I was like, I think my house is currently on fire.
So we went to Orange County and we just stayed there through Sunday and we made the boys think we were on vacation. And so we were like.
Having a blast. Yeah. They're just totally clueless, which is nice. It's nice to be around them because they have no idea what's going on. And I think they're one of five. They're two of we're one of five families in their school that all lost their homes. So, you know, it's going to be interesting for them to go back to school. And I hope people don't treat them any different.
You know, we want to just sort of keep things the same. I just want to fast forward to six months from now where, like, I look back on all the stuff and I'm like, oh, it's OK. It's all just stuff. And then, you know, but.
I took some stuff. I took like the very important like family heirloom jewelry. I took my grandma's ice bucket, which is like, it's not, you can get it on eBay. It's not like, it's not a special ice bucket.
We got some heirlooms. But there's a lot of things I think about that are gone. And that makes me really sad. I had a personalized Kobe autograph picture that's gone.
It was really nice. And he signed an autograph for me and my brother. And then when we met Jimmy Carter and he signed the photo, I had that one. That's gone. There's just a lot of little things that are nothing I can't live without. But I don't want to. I just I really miss that stuff. And it's also it's weird.
When we were in Orange County, we like packed up our stuff and we're like everything we own is just in our car right now. And that's a very weird thing to think about that, like all of your possessions, everything that is something that you you you've accumulated over the last 40 years, they're all gone and all you have left is whatever's in this van. And it's just it's just really sad.
I know. And it, it, it's weird. It does feel like you're kind of grieving and you realize like, I mean, I wish I took like, I had a bin full of the boys, like first three years, like little things that I wanted to keep forever. And that's gone. Um, But, you know, and then you're like holding out.
Maybe we'll go back and like we'll find things that we like in the rubble of whatever's left and we'll just like find something and just be really happy that things still exist. So we're also waiting when we can go back. I mean, the National Guard is everywhere. And so we can't go to our house and, you know, the air quality sucks and everything's just ash. But, you know...
Me and Erica Brown went shopping and like the third because I need a whole new I need all new things, everything new. And we went and it kind of like was brought up when I was checking out somewhere that my house was gone. And she's like, oh, we give a 20 percent discount to victims of the fire. And me and Erica were like, we have to call all the stores we just went to. Yeah.
Do you give a 20% discount? But then it's awkward because you go to a store and you're just like, my house burned down.
Well, then sometimes, but also it's like an awkward thing to bring up. It's like, hi, how are you doing? It's like, uh, uh, my house burned down. Do I get a discount?
I know. And then Erica was like, stop saying your house burned down. Say you were displaced by the fires. She just wanted me to use a different wording. No, I think burned down gets you the discount.
I thought I would last longer before I started crying.
It's just nuts to just like go around just being like, hi. So the other stores are giving discounts. Like, can I get a discount here when my house burned down? And at first it was like, you know, it's hard to say, oh, my house burned down. I would cry every single time. And then I just like I got to a point where I was like, hi, my house burned down.
It's like, what kind of discounts you got for me?
I really thought I was like, keep it together. Yeah. Well, you don't have to keep it together.
The chemistry was all there. Yeah. You had done your 10, what Malcolm Gladwell would call the 10,000 hours of we've done all our stuff. I'm gonna go back a little before that, which is something I wasn't aware of, which is you went through a pretty traumatic experience when you were a kid. Mm-hmm. Two, first of all, you were Catholic. I'm still reeling from that.
Loki and Odin. Loki's a mature seven-year-old dog. And one of his abilities is I can just drop a little treat and he can snap it out of the air. He's very good at it. Odin is a one-year-old pup and a goof. And so I'll drop it for Loki and he'll just snap it just as you did right now. Just snap it out of the air. And then I'll drop it for Odin and...
And David, you went through Catholicism as well.
Yeah. My wife is Episcopalian and was not raised in the Catholic church. But when we had our kids, I was the same way. I was like, you know, they will be christened in that Catholic church. And it just came out of me. And she was like, well, we can all be christened in that Catholic church. All of a sudden you're like, yeah, like something took over my body. On the third day, Jesus rose again.
I rose in the air. I spun. My arms went out. And they were. And thank you, Liza, for going along with me on that one. It made my folks really happy. That's cool. But it's funny because you do this show about megachurches now. And it's just a hilarious show, which we will talk about because I love it. And Danny was on talking about it as well.
But it is the polar opposite of the Catholic experience now. Did you know, when you were a Catholic going to Catholic masses, did you know that there was such a thing as megachurches out there?
Huh? Do you eat a wafer? No, gummy fish. Swedish gummy fish. No, and it's also like, there's music. And who's playing? Fish. Fish is playing and there's a light show. And loaves. Where does this happen? At the Sphere in Las Vegas. I want this religion. Hard benches and, you know, parables.
You went through something very intense that I didn't know about, which is you were on your bike and you were seriously injured. Yep, kablamoed. What happened? Kablamoed is the medical term.
We got a kablammo here. I saw that there's an episode of The Pit where they go, we got a kablammo. We got one kablammo coming in. We need fully kablammed. We need three CCs of feel better quick. So what happened? Because it's pretty heavy.
He it bounces off of his head and then he snaps his mouth like two minutes later. He's just he's a total clown. He's slowly he's slowly getting the hang of it. And so I just had when you were throwing the popcorn across the room, I have this ritual every day where I'm trying to teach Odin to be able to snap it. And I'm I realize that you're slightly smarter than my one year old daughter.
I beg to differ. Just based on your work. Yeah. Totally. The doctors are looking at workaholics. We might have gotten it wrong 25 years ago.
Wait, are you looking at cat scans? No, no, just the work. No, his filmography. So, I mean, we're laughing a lot, but horrifying. And were you unconscious for a long time?
I don't know if I was even hit by- It's me saying I'm a speed reader. Yeah. I want $100.
It was an 80-ton cement truck. So one of the heaviest in the world. When you're hit by a cement truck as a kid and you get that kind of damage, you don't need to zhuzh it up. I know, I know. It was also carrying dynamite. Yeah. And it burned. Blew up.
So the recovery process, because you're in a wheelchair for a chunk of time.
And then our quarterback getting sacked. Your entire body is made of recently healed bones. Yes. Doesn't sound like a good idea. Who would let you play? Penny, who would let you play football?
Because you're confined. You're like, this is you at home, wheelchair, maybe not going to school.
Which is an accepted currency.
Yeah, that is the crucial moment, I think, for a lot of people in our industry is the moment you, and some people realize it or know it really early, but the moment when you realize, wait a minute, there's a use for this thing I do. Yeah. I just thought I was, you know, entertaining slash annoying my brothers and friends to no end all the time. And then someone links it to. That's great.
Here's a cookie. Here is a free T-shirt. Wait a minute. Here's a here's a job here. Here's a job there. And it's interesting. You can't believe it. You can't believe it.
There's still time. Yeah. There's still time. You're a young man.
Cornhole is getting competitive. Do you have any residual pain from what you went through in your life or is that all behind you physically?
That was fun. I think we've got a loose vibe today. And I want people tuning in right now to know that we're a bunch of fun, regular folk that just toss popcorn around. We lost all of it. I know.
It's, I mean, clearly you've been through, you went through this massive injury, but it is just true. The best analogy I've ever heard is that when you're born, you're dropped into a current that's taking you in the right direction and very powerfully, and you just get bigger and stronger doing absolutely nothing.
And then as you get older, the current starts to slow and then it comes to a standstill and then it starts to go the other way. And so you actively have to work at staying just where you are. Yeah. And I thought, yeah, I think that's the best description of the aging process, which is I do a lot just to stay where I am.
Yeah, it was a nice moment.
Well, I have to say, I wouldn't know any of this because, I mean, in all your work, but in your latest work in Gemstones, you're just always so physically present and funny and great. Yeah, thanks. Thank you. You know, we've covered, you do... You meet the fellas, you guys do workaholics, you start to get traction.
No, I don't think so. And you didn't even mean in his mouth. You just wanted to pummel him with popcorn. You wanted to use a different food.
Pitch Perfect, when Pitch Perfect comes along and you are up for this role, you didn't even really know what the role was. Is that true?
Super hot fried chicken right off the frying pan. Burning my face. Scorching it. Hot soup. Really, really hot, sweet and sour soup that you throw at me with a hose. I'm just I'm glad that we're happy and we're having a good time. And I'm going to just say it. I don't use the word vibe much, but there's a good vibe today. It's like we're just a bunch of pals having fun. That's all.
I love that there are actors out there listening right now who are furious.
Who do everything. They've gone to Juilliard. They find out. They research the role. And then they hear you. I don't know. I thought I was... Sing. I don't know. I guess I'll do the full house theme. You're hired. Yeah, okay, thanks.
No, they can smell it. Yeah. There's a pheromone you put out when you... When I auditioned, when they had a test for me for the late night show to replace Letterman, I was a writer on The Simpsons. Yeah. You know, had no business even auditioning for this thing, but Lorne knew me. He said, you know, maybe, whatever. A bunch of sort of things came together.
I thought, there's no way this is happening. So I went into it thinking, well, this is fun. I'm going to pretend to be a talk show host. And that was the spirit that I did it in. And then a couple of weeks later, ring, ring, you're replacing David Letterman at 1230. And I was completely unrelaxed for the next two years. Yeah, once you have the job. Once I have the job. Hi, everybody. Welcome.
I hope you like the show. We're going to try our really hardest. I hope you like it. It's going to be good, I hope. Oh, my God. This guy's awful. And then, you know, the sheer volume of it knocked that out of me. But I know what you're talking about. Yeah. It's better you didn't know.
I have this weird ghost memory of hosting the MTV Movie Awards, and I did something with you, but I don't remember what we did. I'm sure there's... I... Do you? I have no memory.
It was such a fever dream. You know, it was so crazy as all I remember about that is I said, yeah, I like to try things. And they said, Hey, do you want to host the MTV movie awards? And I thought, that's funny. Even then I was old, but I was like, no, but you know what I mean? I was just like, okay, sure. And all I remember is they put me in something that hides you and it feels
And it lifts up and reveals you as like rock music plays. Yeah. Rock arpeggios play. And I remember just a voice going, gentlemen, MTV, cone it open. And just before they said my name, smoke started to fill the chamber. And I'm like, what the fuck? Because they didn't do that at rehearsal because they wanted smoke to billow out. And I just knew then that this is insane.
I shouldn't be on one of these shows where there's smoke. But thank you for helping me.
Yeah, throwing food around. That's nice. We clean up afterwards. I'm not going to because I didn't throw any. Oh. That means I have to. Eduardo and I, by the way, are the people who have to clean up the studio. I don't think there's food allowed in here.
Sounds like you've had plenty of these. I've had so many moments where I'd be suddenly become aware that my life is very strange. Oh yeah. One was shooting a thing in an open-topped convertible Bentley with Mr. T out, and there was a scene that required us to be driving in the country in upstate New York. And he's driving, and we're driving for a while, and I fall asleep next to him.
Really fall asleep, genuinely, because I'm tired, and I put my head back. And I fell asleep hard for like maybe two minutes and I woke up and I'm looking straight up and it's fall, upstate New York, beautiful leaves are passing over my head. And I turned my head slightly and Mr. T is driving in a car and I don't understand what's happening. And I thought, that's what show business is.
I mean, that's what I love about it is when you have moments of, I'm just, I'm looking out at this sea of people. I just knocked over a human candelabra. I'm dressed as a beast. What's happening?
I know. That's why I'm like, agents are just like, it's happening now. It's a game of telephone that's constantly like, Conan wants it now.
I'm going to say that's on Matt and Sona. They should have to do that.
It's one of those things where, God forbid a crime or a murder had happened somewhere around that time and you needed an alibi. Yeah. And you said, I was in a hot air balloon. And then we landed, and there was a go-kart race, and I just talked to Conan.
So, I'm curious about Righteous Gemstones. Such a funny show. Did you know Danny McBride? Had you guys met before you started working on this thing? No. You guys have an amazing chemistry. chemistry together. Yeah, thanks. That whole cast, it really is one of the great casts on television right now. And you all feel like you're so simpatico. And so I was thinking, did you know Danny?
I had no idea. Wait a minute.
Excuse me, just a second. Eduardo has the floor. Now, I also want to preface again, Eduardo is the genius who designed this beautiful studio that everyone compliments us on. And so, again, props to you, Eduardo. I knew that we weren't supposed to have
I love this whole thing where he, you know, he lives in... Charleston, yeah. He lives in Charleston with his people, and they... I love that. They've just... He was talking about it here on the podcast. They just live in... You know, like, he's not... Nope, not gonna live, not gonna move to L.A., any of that. We're just gonna make our stuff.
Yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I mean, you're just putting something out there now that then expectations will be raised.
I will arrange for a table for all of you at Paquito Mosque. I will not be there. Someone who looks kind of like me will be there, and you guys will cover the bill.
I would love a Conan impersonator to show up. Wig on his head. And you can see the strap that's holding his wig on is under his chin. Flip-flop, chip-chop. All right, well, you guys have to cover this, remember? Kona's not paying for it. Flip-flop, chip-chop. Yep, that's my... The old tagline. That's the old tagline. How do you like being a dad? I think I haven't seen you since you became a dad.
And you're taking another page off the calendar. Uh-huh.
But you'd be such a fun dad. I think I can see you, a lot of it is, and it was, I mean, I loved being silly with my kids and still do to their dismay, but I just ate it up with a spoon. It's so fun. It wasn't like, well, time to get on the floor and act like an idiot. I'm always on the floor acting like an idiot, so there should be kids around. Yeah. It's weird if there's not.
And then he's like... Yeah. It's the best. That's kind of scary, actually. Yeah, I did.
You will go to the ATM. Yeah. You will use this PIN number. Okay, Elmo. Elmo can create all kinds of hell.
So that's really a recording thing that you're not supposed to have food around? Because we've had a ton of food in here all the time.
I'm so thrilled that you came by and did this. Me too.
Well, I just... You've always been incredibly nice to me. And so just getting to hear you tell your story and take us through it is... It's so funny. I'm just imagining a lot of people listening to it who are big fans of yours getting kind of inspired, who don't even know half the shit that you've been through.
You never know. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming by. Of course. You're a fine fellow. And please come back. I'm glad you came around on me. It didn't start off great.
I have to tell you, when you walked in the door, I was mad.
I hate that. Whenever I'm wearing just regular leather, tanned leather, and someone else has suede. You're a monster. How dare they? It's on. I feel threatened. Yeah. I feel threatened. Makes sense. Hey, Adam, thank you so much. Of course. Thanks. Occasionally I like to reminisce about my comedy showbiz past.
This just popped into my head and it takes me back to this very particular time in my career. I just did. We weren't even recording and I did a bit and a very stupid, silly bit. And I'll explain what that was in a second. But it immediately reminded me of this time, I think back in maybe 1993 or 1994, and is when my show is first starting.
And a lot of younger people don't know this, but when my show first premiered in September of 1993... I was very, it was new, it was very raw. I was very inexperienced, very young. I was replacing the great David Letterman. So as you can imagine, there was a lot of criticism and doubt and people were like, who hired this guy? And it was choppy waters for quite a while.
But like, for example, if I were to bring in a goulash, would you have said something? A big, hot, steaming goulash in a big ceramic bowl and then just been like, goulash for all! And slopping it around.
And people thought maybe this isn't gonna work out and everything. And then Dave invited me on his show. His show was on CBS and it was the big number one show at the time. And this was a big deal to get to go on Dave's show and promote the show that we were doing a couple of blocks away, his old show. It's a big deal. And so I was thinking of what to do. What stories could I tell?
And then it's just a total, because I was always goofing around. It's a total joke in the writer's room. I mimed, I acted out doing something where I said, what if I just went out?
And again, I wasn't serious, but what if I just walked out there and David Letterman, you know, if David Letterman said, all right, well, this next gentleman took over our old show on, at the late night show that's on at 1235 on NBC. And I think, you know, please welcome Conan O'Brien. And there's the band is playing Paul Schaefer.
And I walk out and I shake Dave's hand and I sit down and Dave says, so Conan, how do you like the new show? And I say, and this is you might have to check out Instagram for this, but whatever. But because I'm going to act it out. It's at Team Coco podcast. At Team Coco podcast. And that I would say he would say, welcome, Conan. You know, how's it going over there at the new show?
And I'd say, well, Dave, I got to tell you, I just think.
And absolutely freeze. And the reason this came to mind is just before I froze, something I used to like to do is say, I got to tell you something. And I would freeze and I got pretty good at it where I could really freeze and commit to it. And the whole idea is I would freeze. And I would not have told Dave beforehand or his producers or anybody.
And so I was pitching this as, you know, the way I love to pitch. This is the worst thing I could do. Yes. So I'm pitching this. The writers are laughing really hard. And Robert Smigel, who's the head writer at the time and, you know, brilliant head writer and everything, said, you have to do it.
And I was like, what? I can't. And he said, you have to do it. That's not a good advice. And you just freeze. And I just knew that what would happen is I'd go like, well, Dave, I just think that I... And then Dave would like watch for a bit and go like, uh, hello, Conan, Conan, Conan. And then he'd probably like, uh, Paul, I think we have a situation over here.
And no matter what they did, I would stick to it. And then Dave would just say, okay, I think we're, I guess we'll just take a commercial.
And, um, And Robert Smigel, yes, deny it if he wants. Robert Smigel said, not only should you do it, you have to do it. You have to do it. And I was saying, I don't I don't think I can do that. I'm barely not getting canceled now. In fact, we were canceled at one point for like 30 minutes in by NBC and Burbank. And then they realized they didn't have a replacement.
So, I mean, I'm not even hanging by a thread to stick with you. They were like, we literally don't have another person drive around and try and find someone. But that's how bad it was. So I'm not just hanging by a thread. I'm hanging by a thread of the, a tiny thread that came off that thread.
Because Robert thought it was so great and revolutionary and would just like, no one's ever done anything like that. It would be like an Andy Kaufman and I would stick to it.
I would not unfreeze. They would go to commercial. They would probably just say like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I would go across the street and that America would in that moment realize he has broken the sound barrier of comedy. And I was thinking, I don't think that's what's going to happen. So what did happen? What did happen is that I didn't do that and thought of some stories.
Well, no, I respect both as a technician and a craftsman. I respect the work you've done and I want to honor it. And maybe we should honor Eduardo by not having food in here anymore.
Probably best. And because I was new and nervous, I did, by today's standards, I did, you know, like, it was okay, I'm sure. It wasn't, I didn't have the confidence or I think people hadn't tuned into my rhythm yet, too.
I think he would have loathed it. Any normal person would have. Absolutely. Like when he does it, how we feel.
Yeah. And so that's just for you comedy nerds out there. That's the world I was in where Robert Smigel, and God bless you, Robert, still the funniest, most prolific. It's Robert Smigel or Jim Downey. Take your pick. These are just insanely top of the best comedy writers. Prolific.
um and and so essential to uh the dna of my late night show uh that and that he was pushing me to do that crazy and and if i had said to him okay i'm gonna do it he he wouldn't have stopped me he wouldn't have stopped me he wouldn't have said oh you know he wouldn't have chased me
down to the west side and said wait wait i thought about it i thought about it don't do it and no there's an alternate universe i don't know if you guys in the sci-fi world you know there's an alternate universe where things play out differently there's an alternate alternate universe somewhere where i come out and dave says conan uh how's it going there with the new late night show well david gotta be honest that oh my god that would have that conan is just like working
I did hold a wet wipe that's in a perfect square to my eye during one of the breaks. And I put it over my eye and said, hey, check it out. Sanitized pirate. I do it sort of a la Robin Williams, you know, who's, you know, sanitized pirate. There's no... I don't know what's wrong. I need to go to a doctor. And there is a hospital... Half a block down from where we do this?
We need to get me there. But that is just, I'm just telling, you know, longtime fans that maybe there's a 1% chance it would have catapulted me into a new realm.
But you say, okay, let me list some foods. Goulash, no. Probably no. Okay. Just a big boiling meaty stew. Definitely no. Okay. Tacos? Tacos. Oh, wow. Chowder. Tacos you allow, but what about my beloved Boston chowder? Yeah, get out of here.
Right. Exactly. There was no internet.
Yeah. And then canceled the next day. Internet can sometimes save you because people can be really upset about something. And then they the Internet rallies behind you and they realize, oh, no, no. People out there get what he was trying to do. Anyway, that's just something that came to mind. I wanted to share it. I thought that was worth our time.
I love you, Robert. You're a genius. And who knows? Maybe you were right. We'll never, ever know. Peace out, Tupac.
Oh, I see a trend here. Wait a minute.
This doesn't feel fair. What about a lot of corned beef and potatoes?
How about some Armenian grab-a-da-goo? Grava the goo.
What is it? What would be an Armenian dish that I should have yelled out? And don't say, because I know there's a lot of dried fruit.
But a hoof, you wouldn't eat the hoof.
You can? But hoof is what? Hoof is hardened collagen. It just melts down?
Okay. All right. Maybe you just got a bad name. Eduardo is busily searching for it on the internet. It won't come up. I don't even know how you spell it. You have to go on the dark web. I don't know how you... Hey, if you want some hoof soup... You don't just go on, you don't just type that into Google. You gotta know a guy. You gotta know a guy who knows a guy who knows a horse.
I'm gonna start. Hey, Conan O'Brien here. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And I'm watching. Sona has a bag of popcorn and she's whipping it across the room.
That's a good excuse I'll use if, you know, I tell my wife, I'm like, khash. And she's like, don't you tell me to be quiet. I'll say, just wanted some hoof soup.
It also says it's often consumed as a hangover remedy. Yeah, I bet. You have a little of that, and you're like, I'll never drink again. Anything. Nothing's going in my mouth again. Once you got a hoof in your throat, the idea of consuming anything again... All right, I'm going to get this show going. I'm going to get this show going.
My guest today has starred in such TV shows and movies as Workaholics, Pitch Perfect, and The Righteous Gemstones. He also has a podcast called This Is Important. Hey, that's a great title, which releases new episodes every Tuesday. I'm excited he's here today. Adam Devine.
Welcome. I did the pause. I did the pause. Yes.
Yes. There's a slight pause there before you said my name. Because I think you were exuberant about being someone else's friend and then remembered it was me. And I could see the life leave your body.
Not much of a reader, are you?
In third grade, I had heard that there was this Evelyn Wood speed reading course where people, there was advertised on television where you could read really fast. Oh, I thought that was so cool. And I just went to school and told people I could do it. And they were like, prove it. So I picked up a book and I flipped through the pages really fast.
And I wasn't reading, but I was flipping through it really fast because I was embarrassed. So I was covering for the fact that I had said I could do this. And then I did it with another book and another book. And then they asked me what the books were about. And I was just saying stuff that kind of sounded like it would be the book. You're like George Washington saved the day. Yeah.
Sona started whipping popcorn across the room, Gorley trying to catch it in his mouth. There were some failed attempts. I decided to just start the podcast on the action. And what's interesting is Sona threw two.
And they were like, wow. And they told the teacher, Mrs. Sollett, and they said, Conan's a speed reader. He just read three books in like two minutes. And she came over and saw what I was doing and basically said, you're an idiot. This is bullshit. Knock it off. And I remember being so embarrassed. I turned beet red. And I said, I'll never do a stupid thing again. More red. More red. Wow.
And I was drinking that day. Adam, it's a thrill to have you here. Good to be here. I remember you first came onto my radar because my assistant, who's with me today, Sona Mosessian, and joins me often. I remember she was my assistant. And from the day you started working for me, every day you would come in and you were constantly talking about this show, Workaholics. Yes.
And you were obsessed with it. I was.
Yeah, thanks. And when I hear that something else is really funny, I'm furious. Yeah. Furious. I understand that. You know, like, what? This can't be funny. How am I involved? And she said, it has nothing to do with you. Yeah. And I said, am I in it? And, you know, it was at that level of pathology. Did I write for this? Yeah. Or did they steal my journal and create a TV show?
There must be some way, you know. But no. And then she started showing me clips of the show, which was hilarious. And then I started having you guys on. And it was a perfect mix of my audience, what you guys were doing, which was so inventive. And again, my favorite kind of television and entertainment is when good friends are entertaining themselves. And almost...
And defying people to say, look, you can like this or not, but this is what we like. And I thought that was pretty cool. And I thought we'd start there because Sona, I love it. You were I mean, you had you had made like pictures and posters.
Accidentally. And one went into your mouth and now you're choking. Are you okay? Never better. One of them went in, which was very impressive.
You remember that? Yes, I do remember that very well.
I've had this theory for a while that oftentimes in show business and in life in general for anybody, you think that your destiny is one thing and it's your failure to get that and you pivot and you get something that feels lesser to you. And that is actually the real path to where you should be going. And I know for you, you were convinced when you went to college that you wanted to, was it UCLA?
You thought this is where I have to go, but it was too expensive. You couldn't afford it. So you went to a different school.
You okay? I am. Okay. Look, I never said we were a real podcast. You know, it's funny. It was reminding me of you were throwing popcorn across the room. I have two dogs.
Yeah. So you feel like, oh, you know, my path to my real future has been blocked because I don't have the money. I'll go here instead. And that's where you meet Kyle and Blake. So again, this proves this idea I have that that wasn't where you're supposed to go. You went where you were supposed to go. Yeah.
Hey, man, I think your way is my way also.
Oh, really? It's fun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I bet, oh, here's Malcolm Gladwell. Let's ask him about being a parent. You know, we're going to get this. And then you say, it makes you really tired. And people are like, what? What? What?
See, that's the thing is they don't even need a reason. They don't even need a reason. Hey, man, you're not thinking it through, man.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that pussy wall.
A lateral move. A lateral move near the vaginal wall. Well, I didn't want it to sound... Could lead to tearing.
I don't wanna.
I don't want to.
Exactly. I mean, what's the problem? I don't see a problem. I really don't. I don't. What? What?
It's okay. I'm slowly getting better with...
Well, you still don't sound great. Oh, it's a long process. I'm getting better.
Yeah. Bring it over here.
Well, come on.
Luke, I am your father.
Have you? Do you get filler, honestly? I get no filler. I do. And you know what? Really? Yeah, my lips.
I suggest that you do filler.
So even if I got a bad swelling, it would give me something.
Josh, you could have said something like, no, no, you look fine. But you went, no, even you. No, because everybody says this. This is not a perpetual red carpet. You are not a fucking celebrity. God damn it. I thought this was my time. There. You just brought it around. This is not their time. This is our time. It's our time down here.
That's what he's saying. Please cut the film. Don't let this happen. I'm an actor. I can't stop. And he's one of my all time. I think in the same one, he says, she's got a great ass. That's what I mean. And then he slaps the table.
He goes, go back under, go back under. This is a G movie.
It's so hard being an actor's son.
Right. I'm just laying low. It was, yeah.
And by the way, you get mad and you shoot back.
Oh, no, I know what you mean.
Oh, yeah. Keep walking, old man. You don't even know the depth.
I'll bury you. Like, literally.
I'll pour the dirt on your grave.
Pippi, are you crazy? Yeah.
Yes! Full circle! Full circle! I have.
I do see you trying.
You can be honest. I really do think you have. And I think mushrooms might be good for you.
I did. Yes, I do.
Can't wait to take another sip. Oh, my God.
I don't think that's true.
A sexual athlete?
Hey, Luke, who's ahead?
What? He stretches an hour a day.
Oh, yeah. He's like a multi-degree black belt in taekwondo.
You should. Maybe we should get him in here. He's probably out there. Is RJ out there?
I do think it takes time. I think you get sometimes impatient. You're like, I want to be flexible now. But you have to just like take your time with it. Maybe. Can you be patient?
I agree. Yeah. And I think you should definitely put the work into it and be patient.
He is, like, full, like, past splits. It's amazing. I know. It's pretty incredible.
Maybe we evolve into a nicer person. Yeah. Maybe that's what we're... Who's going to listen to that podcast?
Yeah, I think there is.
I think your body is capable of it. I don't think your mind is capable of it. Be honest. I'm being very honest. Sounds honest to me. I think your body can become flexible if you work at it, but you're also so tightly wound, you're just like...
And with all due respect, does that jacket exist anymore?
Jesus, Matt. Sorry. It does not. No, no. Did that jacket go up in the fire? Yes, it did. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. So maybe you should apologize.
Why is he saying that? I meant to defend you.
You know, I'm going to tell you something. You get a little bit more than if you do listen to it with the sound, right?
I recommend you put on a different podcast.
You're a Step Brothers fanatic. I do love it.
I always, that's the thing I remember most about that movie.
Yes. So you should buy me a new one.
Yeah. Jerry Tchaikovsky. Yeah.
Wait, what are you saying? He should be pissed at Mike. Sure. No, no, no.
We just also noticed that this is the first recording we've done since the one recording we've done after the fires. And already you're back on.
Are you sure you weren't talking to Bobcat Goldthwait? No.
Yes. A black leather jacket.
I looked so cool in that jacket. I did. Nothing is cooler than a worn-in jacket.
And these hard... Why are you asking the crew about your acne? I don't know.
She lived a good life. She saw some shit.
Why did she break up with you? You seemed really cool.
Your current jacket is definitely a she.
My current jacket, my best friend Veronica got me this one. Oh, look at this. What is that? And she gave me, because I had pins all over my other denim jackets, so she got me a happy face, a popcorn, a Freddie Mercury, and a vagina pin.
Wait, what? I know you want to, you should probably see it.
It's not just a vagina. It's got like the fallopian tubes.
Sorry. No, it's more like a cattle head with roses for horns. Yes. I'm sorry. What do you guys got going on in there?
Where the ladies sit. All of them at the same time?
Yeah. What are we doing? Don't make me do an anatomy lesson because to be honest, I don't even know how it works. I don't even know what's going on down there. Do you guys know what's going on?
Why are you saying it with disdain?
Have you ever closely examined yourself? Your penis?
No, there are. There's a lot of things going on with this. And it's, you know, I don't I never I never really examined it, but maybe I should. And I'll learn some stuff.
Don't say undercarriage. Don't say undercarriage. My vagina. You can say vagina. It's OK to say it.
Yeah. Like you in the Letterman Theater. Here we are 10 years later. And look at the gold it's giving. Yeah.
Did you help him out at all, or were you just sitting there just watching? You did.
I know, that's why I'm asking. But...
Why do you shrug your shoulders when you do that? So uncomfortable. Oh, my God.
Do you want to wear the vagina pin?
You guys remember back in the early days of this podcast, we did a few drawing contests? I do.
Did you win both? We did at least two.
No, I really lost both of them. Did you? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. Okay.
Well, I went back and I found, you guys might remember this from your childhoods. I think especially you will. Do you remember these advertisements for drawing contests?
Yeah. And comic books. And they were also, I think TV commercials. And basically you would draw one of these, send it in and they would assess if you had any talent and then you could take their trade school. It was all a scam basically. Was it a scam? I think it was, I think it was like the Barbizon modeling schools, you know, like they'll take anybody just to get the money out of them.
Wasn't it a kit though? I thought it was like they send you a fan with a motor and then you have to build like an inner tube around it or something.
Our guys are on it. Let's do this drawing contest and maybe by the end we'll have an answer. All right, what's the plan here? Okay, so you get to choose one and I'm going to give you guys five minutes in real time. It'll be edited down by the time we listen.
Do we each choose a different character?
I guess you should choose separately.
I can tell you. Oh, yeah? What's that? They always say it's because, oh, they lost an eye, but it's because they'd be below deck, and they have to, when they're above deck in the sun and they have to go below deck, they don't need time to adjust their sight, so they open their eye patch and they can see it.
And he's wearing a party hat.
What? The pirates have both eyes and they're both functioning. Yeah. Yes. That is crazy.
Why are you saying this like you knew it this whole time?
Okay. All right. Somebody pick a number between one and ten. Conan. Oh, my God. Why does everything have to be complicated? Five. Sona.
I think at this point they just like don't know what to. They can't tell me not to do something.
The number was four. So, Conan, you get to pick first.
Mine's going to be awful. Let's get to it. Okay. All right. Let's do it.
One, two, three, go. Five minutes. We'll make it three minutes. Give three minutes. Okay. Oh, my God. That's an abomination.
Would she just looking at that? Would she know it's a vagina? Because it's not.
We're going to knock a minute off. You've got 30 seconds.
Oh, yeah. This has got to be above board.
I don't. I'm okay with it being done now.
But keep in mind, it's not just technical ability. It's that certain aspect of life. The je ne sais quoi. It's the je ne sais quoi. So, Sona, you could take it on just having more life. You know, Jackson Pollock, he did his paintings, it was about the experience, not the result. Yeah, he died in a drunk driving crash.
Look it, Tippy's head is real flat.
I just didn't, I assumed it was down to them. All right, I'll get in there.
These aren't the pens I like using.
I'll sign mine. I'm obsessing. She's done.
It's weird. It's pretty vaggie. You have to. You have to. Yeah, I think your first instinct is vaggie, but you have to give it a double look.
We show our... Yeah, put them in the center here. And then Adam, Eduardo, Blay get to adjudicate.
I think you guys should give some points for speed. Because I did mine really fast.
Well, I'll just say I did mine in like a quarter of the time of anybody else. If we're doing speed.
You go and you illustrate with your mom. Mine's also the biggest.
Yeah, but make it brief because we don't have a lot of time.
This is a vagina. This is how a vagina looks. It's a vagina.
This is Mippy, my turtle. He's different than Tippy.
I think you've got Tipsy, the turtle.
Yeah, it's true. It's just this tiny has a really large brain. Right.
He's already angling for defeat, you know?
Social media! Go to Team Coco Podcasts on Instagram. And are we still on the vast hellscape of Twitter X? Let's just send people to Instagram. Let's do that. Yeah, that's good. All right, we'll see what happens. This is pretty exciting. It wouldn't be a drawing contest without abject hatred for the game.
Because down on the side, they're showing people inside the cockpit of this thing.
Same with the hovercraft. It's a manual on how to build it, if I'm not mistaken. And there's somewhere in the front.
Yeah, we got to find out more about this. Okay, to be continued. All right. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair.
And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at...
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Yes. Oh, you were being more like, yeah, it's the whole thing. It's all of it.
know they probably want to celebrate that we have the ability to create life and that makes us special unlike men who just like don't do anything where's the tattoo that says do not enter yeah we have no but listen we have a we do something what do you what do you do we carry the sacred seed OK, don't say we do.
I don't know. But the way you approach this is very to say that we do nothing, I think, is absurd.
Yeah. OK, you're right. I do think, obviously, yes, biologically, yes. But then we have to do everything after that. And that's a lot.
They're attractive in a vintage way.
And they drive on the wrong side of the road.
I don't want to be here. Listen. Can I fervently hold this up, please?
So you're sad that you don't really get to make fun of it anymore.
It's an endless supply of arrows. Like another one just popped up. And I don't know for what, but it's there. So don't worry about it. You'll be okay.
You were wearing a beret for real?
But you talk about my clothes all the time.
The guy, the little guy, the paper boy comes back at night just for your house?
Yes, I ate garlic. Lots of garlic, lots of lemon. But I did eventually get it.
So even garlic can't outrun COVID.
Not even the root. I know. But you know, Gorley, who's not here, has never had it yet.
Yeah, he's never had it.
He could be. He could be. And Eduardo never had it up until like a month ago. Oh, wow. Yeah. I know. Isn't that crazy?
Wait, you guys are living in the houseboat? I don't understand why you're- Yes, that's the whole point.
I want that ornament.
you show them little ornament.
What's that? Don't go anywhere.
Yeah, I like this job.
When I go to your house, I'm just going to break it.
I have a little bit of an opinion.
We went to the genocide memorial.
We'll get some good comedy here. I'm not a monster.
Oh, it was heavy. It was really heavy. I mean, I'd never been to Armenia. I am Armenian. I felt a lot of what Conan was saying about how you get there. I was crying the entire time I was there, I feel like. But then I saw my dad's village engraved in the wall of all the villages that were affected by the genocide. And it's like I instantly just felt some kind of connection to my grandparents there.
I'm feeling emotional talking about it now. It was amazing. It was one of probably the most heart-wrenching moments of my life.
I was not expecting to feel that overwhelmed about it. I don't know. I mean, I think that something just got very triggered in me. And you suddenly feel very connected to your past.
Yeah. It puts everything into a very different perspective.
You need some humility.
I need to talk about what happened to me on Saturday. Because I hosted all day, and it was so much fun. I hosted the Pasadena Armenian Festival.
I had posted it up on Instagram that I was going to be at this thing to just kind of help promote it. And I had a few of our fans who aren't even Armenian come to the festival to come meet me. Oh, that's cool. Which was honestly really cool.
Sure, yeah. Okay, yes, you're right.
Yeah, I brought us together. So can I can I give a shout out to a couple of people who came?
Daniel came with his girlfriend, Michelle. Daniel's a fan. Michelle doesn't listen. So we could just forget Michelle.
And then Marianne and Dean came. So they came all the way from, I think, the Midwest. They drove all the way out here.
Not for me specifically. They came for something else. But then I was like, a stop. So I'm just going to tell myself it was for me.
But they they did. Let's just say they did. But they also Dean and Marianne. I met them. They're lovely people. Dean, I find out, writes fan fiction about you. He writes it about a lot of things, but he also writes a lot of Conan O'Brien specific fan fiction.
It's explicit. It's erotic fan fiction. It's erotic fan fiction.
Oh, it really surprised me.
It's funny you say that because I was like, really, Conan? And I'm like, he's just, you know, he's very, he's like, I was like, you know, I was talking to Dean and Marianne and I said, he's just a very kind of repressed, got this repressed Catholic energy. And he said a lot of the fan fiction that he writes comes from you like coming out of your Repression.
Breaking out of your repression.
I mean, I looked at just the descriptions. I said, pass. I can't do it.
You know, so you never read... I love fan fiction.
Oh, no, I think he, like, left his info, and then they had, like, a dalliance after it.
No, he's got his, the website is, can I just say the website so people can go read it?
The website is called archiveofourown.org and he's drhpaints and he's got a lot of Conan specific fan fiction.
And it's erotica. It's a lot of erotica and it's very explicit because that's the fun part about fan fiction.
This is fun stuff. And I think it's very flattering. I mean, like, you know, there was an entire movie series, the after movie series, that was based on fan fiction written about Harry Styles.
I'm just saying. I'm like, I just think it's very flattering when people choose you as like a main character in any sort of literary kind of take they have on anything.
I can't. I can't. I can't read it.
This is terrible. And I can't hear it.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
No, Matt, if you keep reading it, I'm going to burn this entire building down to the ground.
What does that mean?
Okay, can we stop?
I'm going to fucking punch your face.
It needs to stop now.
I need to leave. I quit. I have to quit right now. First of all, you brought this up. I'm done.
I know. He was really nice, and his girlfriend was really nice. And I thought, hey, this is fun.
It's the Pasadena Armenian Festival.
It was a lovely day.
You put that up and then you put it up again.
Shit, you deserve. Shit bow like 40 times.
I thought you were going to say you did it, but you called it like you knew it was going to happen.
Yeah. I mean, you have.
No, no. We celebrate American Christmas, too. But we you know, we have a fake tree, which you guys got mad at me for when we were doing summer s'mores. Yeah. And then we like put a few things out. But we're not like the house people stop at when they're driving down the block and be like, oh, my God, look at this.
Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school, ring the bell Brand new shoes, walkin' loose Climb the fence, books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends
Listen to that voice. Can I say something?
We put the rap light on like... Are we going to talk about the wind? Shut the fuck up, Sona! Shut the fuck up, Sona!
Okay.
I can't whistle and I don't know that.
I can't whistle. Is that true? I've never seen this movie.
You guys have very different vibes.
Yes.
Oh, he was wonderful. Everybody was wonderful.
What is this event?
Of course, I heard that whole, I've seen every, I've heard every episode, every single one. I don't know if we should be excited or horrified that you're coming.
Wait, you mean like if Jeff invited you to like a weird sex party, you'd be like, oh, okay.
I believed you for a second and now I feel really dumb.
I was like, oh, you're kidding.
Oh, my God. There's so many emissions happening.
You're going to do a thing.
I was on the edge of my seat the entire time you were singing because I thought he was going to go into some bit and like do something with your voice.
It's a bit. You're like joking around.
Yeah. Hugh Grant's brother. I know that reference. Yes. Yes.
When you said Julie Andrews, I was like, yeah, she narrated Bridgerton. So I know her.
I'm kidding.
She would never.
He's like 15 and he turns 17?
What a terrible movie.
Okay, no one's going to fight you. You can have them. Yeah.
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
Don't blame her.
Salt lick.
That alone. That's big. No one else would watch it otherwise.
Was it 70 minutes just the part where he goes, my name is Jeff Goldblum and I'm... And I feel like that alone was like 45 minutes. It was incredible.
That really was.
Yeah.
That's very cool.
Stop it. You pronounced my name right.
Oh!
Oh my God, it's going to smell like garlic. Yeah, I was going to say. And gorley, and gorley.
No, you're better. Sorry.
I've never heard that. I've never heard anybody say, oh my God, it's Conan.
I know.
Okay.
Oh, Matt, that got sad quick.
Yeah, I know. That's better.
Do you really think he didn't have any friends?
Jeff, come on, let's prove these knuckleheads wrong.
Yeah, that's true. I love him so much.
He doesn't have to know who we are, me and Matt, and he does.
Love him.
Okay, don't do that. Don't do that.
Before you go down that road.
Confidence. Swagger. Yeah. Ease.
It's also... It's like... No, I can handle it. I really want to know. He is a chill person who seems very comfortable in his skin and very confident. Not that you're not, but it seems like he's been that way much longer than you have. I feel like you went through a very awkward phase where you were like, ooh, I don't like myself.
I don't, you guys said so many names of shows and so many actors I had never heard of. And all three of you were like, oh my God, that guy was the best. Like it was just like constant splooging over like 70s obscure shows. Okay. Come on. You were just doing a whole sex thing about grumblings.
Was that... That was...
Do you think we like him because he's nice to us? Oh, right. Maybe if you tried being nice to me and Matt, then we would, like mom, maybe still not then.
That's not being nice to someone. You got a paycheck. I'm your employee. That doesn't mean you're nice to me.
The fact that you even thought about- Do you do okay with me?
Yeah, I do.
Nobody else is. Okay.
That doesn't sound how nice this works. It's not transaction. What are you talking about?
Yeah.
You know that's not how it works.
I wonder why we like Jeff Goldblum more than you.
He's my favorite tall person. And he just exudes this like sense of ease. And you know what? He doesn't have to pay me for me to like him.
And that says a lot.
Into friendship? Into the concept of being nice?
Yeah, I know.
He's an absolute angel.
Just such a sweet person.
And you're telling me to clean it up because I said splooge?
Yeah. And he remembers everybody. He's just, he like, when he looks at you, he looks at you and he knows your name and he remembers you. And that goes a long way.
That's what you guys did the whole interview.
It's me. Wait, what?
Wait, how does the helicopter...
We love you.
I didn't say each other. Every time someone would say, oh yeah, do you remember this one actor who was in one show for three episodes? You were like, oh my God, that guy was the best guy I've ever heard of in my life.
The way you're moving.
You know, yeah, she can. Yeah.
They are unbelievable. It was so nice to let us stay there. But they also they watched a lot of Turkish soap operas. What?
It's like all day. I mean, not all day, but it's like a lot of Turkish because they're from Turkey. They're Armenian. It's important to note that. But they're from Turkey. Wait a minute.
Do you really? No, no, no. You know what's up? YouTube.
Oh, I thought you meant physically.
No, no, no, no. God, these are comedians. I've never been in shape. That's why I was confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no.
No, I don't watch it with them. I mean, I'm in my room watching TV on a on my laptop.
Yeah. I got really into The Pit lately.
I think the lighting is different. They're all gorgeous and have beautiful skin. And then they... Eduardo, you want to jump in here.
Yeah, there's certain countries that have dominated. Like Korean soap operas are legit.
Oh, yeah, you always have a mustache.
I think you could do it. You could do it.
You played a crime boss. First of all, they tried to make you look Armenian, and it did not work.
They put dark eyebrows and then they put a dark wig on you.
Yeah. And you just order guys to beat up another person.
And then you had a cigar in your cigar in my mouth.
Did you guys ever watch American soap operas?
My friend once lied to us when we were like 12 and said she made out with Austin Peck from Days of Our Lives. And we believed her. So we watched Days of Our Lives. And then we found out she didn't ever make out with Austin Peck.
But we didn't like think of it that way. We're like, oh, my God, she made out with Austin Peck. But she just lied to us, just blatantly lied to us. And we believed her. And we all got into days of our lives to support the guy that she made out with. To support him?
He must have been in his 20s. I have no idea. He had no idea who she was.
Just lied about it. Did you still talk to her? No, that broke everything up. Oh, yeah. I wonder how she's doing. She lied about a lot of stuff. She also lied. She said she was a model and we were like, you're five too, but okay. Like we believed everything she said. I don't believe anybody now.
They're just so gullible. It wasn't just me. It was like my friend group.
No, what do you mean? Lie about what?
Oh, Neil did this. This is Neil. No, no.
Did you do that, though, to Justin? No, I didn't.
That's worse than what Neil did to you, I think.
Wait, why are you guys getting on my case about believing that my friend made out with Austin Peck when you guys believed all this shit your brothers and your friend told you? Good point, good point. We were all dumb.
It is pretty stupid. Yeah.
How are you, Sona? Good to see you. I'm doing all right.
But you did remind him right before we started recording.
We have. Yeah. In fact, I was there yesterday for an inspection and I ran into a really nice man named Richard walking his dog. And he said, I usually listen to you while I'm walking my dog. Wow. Yeah. And I was like, I get to live by a fan.
Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, it is nice.
That's all you were going to say?
You need like a catchphrase.
All right. Hey, I'm rocking and rolling.
That's like a shoe insert commercial. Magellan like Magellan.
The Jelen like Magellan inserts?
It's been over 20 years and you still remember it.
We can recuse? Yeah. Okay, me too.
You're on your own, Barry White.
The younger, better version.
I mean, he's got a crazy cool British accent.
It's me. Oh, no. No. Me? Me?
You know him from the song Rocketman.
Your British accent is just, you go straight to Cockney.
Can you do like a normal British accent?
You don't like them feeling joy. Yeah, you're right.
Because I feel like you've booked everybody. Is there a white whale for you?
Is it Cher? Because I hope it's Cher. It's Cher.
Who is the book and why is it Cher? It's Cher, Dr. Kevorkian.
Come on. You always bring up Dr. Kevorkian second.
I will write any note you need me to write.
Sherilyn Sarkeesian. Okay, all right. I'm just saying. No, but that's a real question. Is there somebody who's not... And why is it Cher?
Is it exhausting to have meetings with Conan because he's always doing, like, jokes and stuff?
Yeah, you're just saying Dana like everybody knew who you were talking about.
Are you playing that? Are you playing it up?
He might do impressions before UFC fights.
It was good. It makes me angry how nice you are to Paula sometimes. It really does.
And that seven o'clock time is the only time Dakota Johnson can be booked.
He's doing this to an audience of UFC people. They go crazy.
You're not saying it's not the right thing to do.
No, the statute of limitations is up. Hi. Hi, I'm the law.
And yes. And I trained at Second City.
I used to do bits on your show in 1993. Yeah. And then I was 10 years old.
But it also makes you kind of obnoxious.
Big flu energy. Don't do it. Can you do a song dedication?
That's the kind of voice you would have.
You must have chosen something similar to that to get that fed to you.
I'm not on Instagram.
Nobody in this room.
Come on, high five, Bob. I can't reach. I can't reach.
But there's also part of me that thinks you're baiting him. You're trolling him a little bit. Yeah, you're a troll. You're being a troll. You're trading straight men. It's two straight men in a room and no comedian.
Oh, no. You're an inspiration.
Well, this show in particular is going to be falling right in line with that. Yeah, probably. Given who's on. Yes.