SPEAKER_02

Naomi, welcome to the show.

I've given this one a lot of thought because my friends and I use kind of mean spirited, but loving jokes as a way to kind of like transact in closeness, affection.

I think a lot of adults do this, don't they?

But of course, there's the line and the gray area.

And that's what I want to discuss tonight.

Let's start at the very young age when kids do it with each other.

Like, can you paint me a picture where it could be perceived as kids just being kids or something that's actually pretty hurtful?

Teasing is interesting because it lives somewhere between joking and bullying.

And I think that subtlety kids don't really always get that, do they?

Sounds to me like the conclusion in the research in terms of teasing, whether it's good or bad.

The answer is it depends, which is kind of like unsatisfying, but it's an honest answer.

What are some of the ingredients that make it friendly, maybe even affectionate versus kind of harmful?

I want to talk more about this power imbalance thing because I feel like that's the thorniest one.

Like, for example, a teacher teasing a student or maybe some friends are out and one friend is wealthier than another and that friend starts teasing the one less wealthy about money.

Like, is this where things really start to get dangerous when there's a deep power imbalance there?

Now, knowing where that line is, I've thought a lot about this one because how do you know where a line is if you don't experiment with crossing it is one thing.

I've fallen victim to that.

Like, for example, my friends and I spew vitriol at each other and it's so loving and we laugh.

But then if I try that with my girlfriend's friends, they end up getting very upset.

The line's very different for different people.