Stacia
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
To be honest, I'm thrilled and also extremely nervous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
That has made my entire 2024. I appreciate that. As a little girl, I did not love my hair. And so just hearing you say that does something like deep for my soul. So thank you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Do you have dimples too? I have like a little dimple, a little freckles.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Monica, I give you permission to adopt me today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I'm hoping that hearing more and more of these stories gives you a lot of empowerment to one day share yours because we're all on the edge of our seats.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Yeah, we need all the nitty gritty. I will share. And the fact that this is how I have to meet you all, I'm like... Here it is. I'm in Nashville, Tennessee. This unauthorized evacuation takes place just south of Nashville in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. To really set the scene, this was the summer of 2008. I was 17 and I was working at my job, Baskin Robbins.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
It's a lot of flavors to keep up with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
This specific Baskin Robbins was very popular for two main reasons. One, it was the only ice cream shop in that side of town. And then two, we were right off one of Tennessee's most trafficked interstate. So we had a lot of local customers that would come in, a lot of regulars.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
And then we also had a good amount of travelers and passerbys that would pop in through our drive-thru and head on their merry way. So it was a summer shift, a hot Tennessee summer. People are at the ice cream shop getting their goodies. It was me and three other high schoolers running this whole place.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Why give this much responsibility to high schoolers?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
just not setting anyone up for success. So I was 17 and I was the shift leader, meaning I had full responsibility of the store.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Yeah, assistant to the regional manager at this point. And so we had a busy summer shift, as we always do, and it had just been relentless back-to-back orders for about an hour. And me and the girls, we are just kind of pushing through. We're all miserable. We've had angry customers. We've not had a break. And just more and more people keep flooding in.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
So our entire front lobby was filled with people enjoying their ice cream and a long line that had started to form. And our drive-thru had also been pretty backed up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
We're all covered in like ice cream drippings and sticky whipped cream. You just live sticky and not in the sexy, like I got whipped cream and you top it on me. It's just like the gross way. So it is a busy time. We've been back to back. We've not had a break. To make this day even worse, I had just started my period that day and... Girls know, first day of your period, you're crampy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
You get like weird hot flashes and heat flashes as like you're dealing with pain. It was one of those days and we just had no break. And so we're all trudging through and all of a sudden we hear a big collective gasp in the front of the store. And we all kind of turned and look and hear crying from a little boy. And he had dropped his milkshake all over the front part of the lobby.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
So on top of like an entirely packed store, we had a huge chaotic milkshake mess. We all take a collective sigh, the girls and I, and I quickly come up with a plan. I'm like, you're going to cover drive-thru. Don't let that drop. You make him a new milkshake and you just man the front as best you can. I'll clean up this mess. So I walked to the back to get the mop.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Another one of these like hot flashes come on and I'm just feeling really overheated. So I go into our walk-in freezer to just try to collect myself before I go out there and clean up this mess. I walk into the freezer. I'm on the borderline of tears. I'm just about to lose my shit. And I just tell myself, just like, suck it up. It's cooled down.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I'm still having trouble cooling down from this hot flash. And I say, you got to get back out there. I open the freezer door. I go to the mop bucket, bend over to turn on the mop water. And as soon as I do...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Again, period gurgling of the stomach. It fucks up your whole system.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Yes. There's all kinds of things happening. There's the cramping.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
The hot flashes were probably the first sign. I just didn't realize that. And so I immediately realized what has happened as I go to turn on this water. And just my instinct was to put my hand on the back of my pants.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
And as soon as I did that, there was liquid.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
All over my hand, and I am panicked on what to do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Oh, my God. It's chaotic. Really important. Baskin-Robbins had a very specific uniform you had to wear. You had your visor, you had a blue shirt, and you had khaki pants.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Because it was summer. It wasn't khaki pants. It was khaki shorts. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I'm like, what am I going to do? So I'm just panicking. I have shit all over my left hand. And I'm like, I have got to get to the bathroom. The only way to get to the bathroom was to go back out through the ice cream bar, through the front lobby, over the milkshake, into our bathroom.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I had to enter the chaos. And so I don't make eye contact with anyone. I'm just sprinting as fast as I can. And I get to the bathroom and someone is in there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Wait, is the milkshake chocolate? I actually don't remember the color. I want to say mint chocolate chip because that's just like seared in my brain. But I don't know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
And honestly, that was something I would have done. That was my personality. But my executive functioning was closed down. So I am at the bathroom. I just immediately turn my back to the wall so no one can see me. And I'm waiting there for a few minutes. And that's when the smell really starts hitting me. I'm like, this is really, really bad.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I genuinely close my eyes like an ostrich just praying no one can see me as if that's going to help. I finally get into the bathroom. I just take my pants down. I got to assess the damage. And it was as bad as I had expected. I go to start washing my shorts in the sink as if that's the only thing I can do. And...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Quickly realized that that was also probably not a great move because this is not like khaki material. This is like some Walmart or Kmart hybrid fabric. So I just now have very wet shorts and a brown stained shorts. Oh, and what about your underwear?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
How are you washing your pants? I do remember I was in a thong and had a tampon. This is way too much information.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Essentially butt naked in washing. And I had to put the shorts back on. And I was like, okay, what am I going to do after I put these shorts back on?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
They're visibly wet and they're still visibly like brown. There's no soap in there to scrub. I've ruined them. I've ruined my entire existence. I'm like, I've got to just get back to the back room, get my keys, and I'm just going to drive home. I'm not going to clean up the milkshake. I've got to get out of here. I deline it out of the bathroom. It smells horrific.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
It's very clear somebody's had like some things going on. Some sickness, yeah. I go through the lobby. I hop over the milkshake mess. It's still chaotic out there. And I just grab my keys. I don't tell my coworkers. I don't tell anyone. I just go to get in my car. Now, the fun part about this is actually probably what's seared in my brain the most is it is a hot Tennessee summer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
So it is probably 100 degrees out. I had a super old clunker, had a 1992 Ford Explorer, and it... had like weird leather seats in there. So I get into my car and I'm getting second degree burns sitting on this searing leather and none of my windows go down. My passenger side window will roll down, but no other windows roll down and I don't have working AC. So I'm sitting in my hot shit pants.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
with my legs burning, no ventilation, and our drive-through is backed up, so I'm not really able to get out of our parking spot. So I'm just sitting there, finally get home, I shower, I change, I clean off my car, go back to work, and I was just like, maybe they won't notice that I was gone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I did go back. The rush had died down, and I will never forget, a girl I was working with, her name was Courtney, she just looked at me, and she's like, what the hell? Shut up. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I had a period accident. I felt like that would get me out of it. And she was like, okay, didn't mention it at all. And so I got out of it. I lied to her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
So that was my unauthorized evacuation.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
All my friends know this story. I have chosen to own it as an adult. And I was like, if I get a chance to meet Dax and Monica, it's worth telling millions of people.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
So, Monica, you just say it's a period accident, not a shit accident. And you should tell us, though.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I'll TBD on that. I want to just have my cringe moment. I know all the armchairs have to express gratitude, but you guys really did a good job reflecting on this in the Lisa Kudrow fact check recently about how do you accurately and adequately share your appreciation with people you've admired from afar? And
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I don't know if I'm going to do it correctly, but I do want to name just like deep gratitude for both of you. Just one, who y'all are and two, the work you put into the world. Monica, as a brown girl who's lived and born and raised in the South, the way you have chosen to share vulnerably about that experience on such a wide platform has helped this little brown girl feel really seen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Oh, that's so happy. And it's something I don't think a lot of people who don't experience that understand how important it is. And you bring light to it in the small moments and in the big moments, how it shows up. So thank you for choosing to share that. You're just such a beautiful soul and I really appreciate you. Oh, thanks.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Well, thank you. And Dax, I have an equally like hopefully heartfelt one for you. We have a lot in common in our upbringing. I had multiple stepfathers, addiction, alcoholism, abuse. was part of my childhood and it kept my father from being able to have an active role in my life. He struggled with sobriety. It ultimately killed him at a very young age.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
So I never got to have a relationship with him. And I've worked really hard to change generational patterns. And I see that you have too. And I might cry at this part, but seeing how much you love your girls and how much you choose sobriety every day.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
for them brings my heart so much joy i understand sobriety is not an easy thing to choose hour by hour i've had to love a lot of addicts through my life and i know it is a hard decision and you doing it because you love your daughters and your family so much is such a beautiful gift and
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
As a hopefully generational change maker myself, I see that in you and you give me a lot of encouragement just in who you are and how you show up and how you actively fight against those survival tactics that we had to grow up with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
I'll take it, but I'm raising my own daughter, as you can see, and it's been really healing. I have a very full life now, and I'm super grateful for all that you've done.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
You're incredible. You guys are wonderful, and I really appreciate who you are and the work you put out. I really do. Right back at you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
Yeah. Oh, I'm praying even harder, so hopefully we'll make it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation
That carries a lot of weight in this house.