Stella

Not when you have a wife as beautiful as mine.

last night yes the one night y'all switched the one night we switched she's just like everywhere and i'll be honest dang it i heard her starting to like and i was like i'm not dealing with that that's not in the contract of what comes with this side of the bed you didn't at least like i woke kinsey up i was like hey your dog you should do something oh wow that's crazy i don't do dog throw up

That's a risk. What if she throws up while I'm carrying her, you know?

You think you can take an elephant in a fight?

How would you kill him?

Or you could just kill him by asking him the question and then giving him the animal, and then he'd try to go kill the animal.

And once she's in the trash, she's committed and she knows she's already in trouble. So she just continues. So you're like, get out of the trash. And she's like, yeah, she does that.

He just spilled it everywhere.

Y'all are so cheap. You didn't even charge it for her.

Like, you didn't even have to get batteries. It charges.

So you got the idea from me. Basically, that's from me.

Okay, so maybe the fat shaming was necessary because I'm afraid you're going to rip the shirt.

It's going to get stuck on your shoulder blades.

You just ruined the entire Bronco brand. Just like that.

Wow, you guys just got her everything that's in my car.

How'd you get grounded from your car? You had a gas?

You're adding two zeros to that.

Sorry, I just really want this to be dramatic. Continue.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Because it was going to be dark when they got out of the movie theater. And they were just like, I'll just tip on my car. And they're probably like, someone hit my car.

And I'm like, what the...

My Challenger. And I'm like, what the? And I pull it off and they're like, somebody hit the back right bumper of your car. Back right bumper of your car. Here's their license plate number. They drove off.

And I was like, what? I go back there and my bumper's kind of crooked, kind of messed up. I'm like, no shot. So we call the police and the police are like, yeah, we'll see if we can get video footage from like the restaurant.

We'll see if we can get video footage from the restaurant and stuff. No, within like, I'm not even kidding. Like three hours they call me back. They're like, yeah, we ran the license plate, all this stuff. Uh, went to the guy's house and they measured like his car and the red paint marks that were on his front bumper. And then they measured my car and they were like,

Yeah, it looks like he hit your car.

And they, like, knocked on it. It was the same kind of thing. He was, like, it was, like, some dad answered the door. It was, like, his son was, like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even think I hit it.

All of a sudden, boom! Like out of nowhere. I hit a deer.

Yeah.

I had that happen.

Mm-hmm. One of my exes rear-ended somebody at a stoplight. Just rear-ended somebody at a stoplight. Same thing, cashed it. And they had to have an ambulance come out and all this stuff.

Oh, they had... I mean, it was like two mile an hour.

It was like the cars was just dented a little. And then they had to have an ambulance come out to... Assess the damage of her body? Yeah, take them away. Because her back was hurt. I was like, come on. I was like, you ever rode Batman at Six Flags?

When your parents actually trust you because like it's like even if he does go out and he makes a mistake or something happens, he's going to tell me it's going to be okay.

But it's like, oh, he's going to go out and he's going to hide it and then I'll never even know.

Right, you can't later. That's what we did.

through um through uh like like me getting caught with cars bumped um yeah she's found out everything so yeah so you might as well just tell her you might as well tell her because you can't hide anything from her yeah i mean cash didn't tell my dad cash didn't tell my dad something and it was like yeah alex knows what i'm saying and and then it just made my dad way more suspicious because usually your lie doesn't hold up in court it doesn't go very well court well i just mean like it doesn't hold up when you tell your parents they like start poking holes in it and you're like hey

And so one night, Cash is with Alex. I'll let you tell the story.

They were like, we'll fix it in the morning.

Born to Yap underwear.

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Caps said something he can't say. And then Harper said the exact same thing that Caps said.

Man, I wouldn't take it personal.

This is even funnier in a crop top than normal.