Steve Glickman

I cannot wait to get to that beautiful beach in Puerto Vallarta and order a pina colada served out of a coconut and kiss this awful year goodbye. I'm packed and ready to go. All I need is my passport. I look in my desk drawer, not there. I look in my file cabinet, not there. I look in my bedroom closet, my dresser, the kitchen cabinets, not there. Where the fuck is my passport? Then I panic.

I cannot wait to get to that beautiful beach in Puerto Vallarta and order a pina colada served out of a coconut and kiss this awful year goodbye. I'm packed and ready to go. All I need is my passport. I look in my desk drawer, not there. I look in my file cabinet, not there. I look in my bedroom closet, my dresser, the kitchen cabinets, not there. Where the fuck is my passport? Then I panic.

I ransack my apartment, going from room to room, emptying every drawer, every closet, every cabinet, and I throw its contents on the floor where I can see it all clearly. I get down on my hands and knees and I'm sifting through the piles of stuff like a crazed burglar. And after I've turned my apartment upside down for hours, nothing. Where the fuck is my passport?

I ransack my apartment, going from room to room, emptying every drawer, every closet, every cabinet, and I throw its contents on the floor where I can see it all clearly. I get down on my hands and knees and I'm sifting through the piles of stuff like a crazed burglar. And after I've turned my apartment upside down for hours, nothing. Where the fuck is my passport?

I ransack my apartment, going from room to room, emptying every drawer, every closet, every cabinet, and I throw its contents on the floor where I can see it all clearly. I get down on my hands and knees and I'm sifting through the piles of stuff like a crazed burglar. And after I've turned my apartment upside down for hours, nothing. Where the fuck is my passport?

It's after midnight and I'm exhausted. Sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at all the piles of junk, I say to myself out loud, as calmly as possible, I've lost my passport. I've looked everywhere I know of, but it's gone. I am not going to Puerto Vallarta for Christmas. And then I cry. The next morning, I make a pot of coffee and I contemplate how I might spend Christmas week in Chicago.

It's after midnight and I'm exhausted. Sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at all the piles of junk, I say to myself out loud, as calmly as possible, I've lost my passport. I've looked everywhere I know of, but it's gone. I am not going to Puerto Vallarta for Christmas. And then I cry. The next morning, I make a pot of coffee and I contemplate how I might spend Christmas week in Chicago.

It's after midnight and I'm exhausted. Sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at all the piles of junk, I say to myself out loud, as calmly as possible, I've lost my passport. I've looked everywhere I know of, but it's gone. I am not going to Puerto Vallarta for Christmas. And then I cry. The next morning, I make a pot of coffee and I contemplate how I might spend Christmas week in Chicago.

I can't visit my family, they're not in town. I can't visit my friends because they all think I'm in Puerto Vallarta. And that's what I want them to think. I boasted to everyone that I was gonna spend Christmas week on the beach in Mexico, and they could all have their white Christmas in Chicago. I told my coworkers. I told my volleyball team.

I can't visit my family, they're not in town. I can't visit my friends because they all think I'm in Puerto Vallarta. And that's what I want them to think. I boasted to everyone that I was gonna spend Christmas week on the beach in Mexico, and they could all have their white Christmas in Chicago. I told my coworkers. I told my volleyball team.

I can't visit my family, they're not in town. I can't visit my friends because they all think I'm in Puerto Vallarta. And that's what I want them to think. I boasted to everyone that I was gonna spend Christmas week on the beach in Mexico, and they could all have their white Christmas in Chicago. I told my coworkers. I told my volleyball team.

I told George, the star hitter on my volleyball team, who is a dreamboat and who I have a crush on. I can't fathom telling them I lost my passport. I will never hear the end of it. I feel like the biggest loser ever. I just can't catch a break. And then I get an idea. I hide out in my apartment all week long. I spend my time watching movies and reading Mexico travel blogs.

I told George, the star hitter on my volleyball team, who is a dreamboat and who I have a crush on. I can't fathom telling them I lost my passport. I will never hear the end of it. I feel like the biggest loser ever. I just can't catch a break. And then I get an idea. I hide out in my apartment all week long. I spend my time watching movies and reading Mexico travel blogs.

I told George, the star hitter on my volleyball team, who is a dreamboat and who I have a crush on. I can't fathom telling them I lost my passport. I will never hear the end of it. I feel like the biggest loser ever. I just can't catch a break. And then I get an idea. I hide out in my apartment all week long. I spend my time watching movies and reading Mexico travel blogs.

When I leave the apartment, I wear sunglasses and a hoodie because I'm incognito. And I leave for only two reasons. To go to the grocery store or to the tanning salon. I love the tanning salon. I love lying on the tanning bed in my Speedo, grooving to my playlist, surrounded by the gentle warmth and humming of the UV lights as they slowly cook my skin to a deep golden brown.

When I leave the apartment, I wear sunglasses and a hoodie because I'm incognito. And I leave for only two reasons. To go to the grocery store or to the tanning salon. I love the tanning salon. I love lying on the tanning bed in my Speedo, grooving to my playlist, surrounded by the gentle warmth and humming of the UV lights as they slowly cook my skin to a deep golden brown.

When I leave the apartment, I wear sunglasses and a hoodie because I'm incognito. And I leave for only two reasons. To go to the grocery store or to the tanning salon. I love the tanning salon. I love lying on the tanning bed in my Speedo, grooving to my playlist, surrounded by the gentle warmth and humming of the UV lights as they slowly cook my skin to a deep golden brown.

And when I close my eyes, it feels just like I'm lying on that beautiful beach in Puerto Vallarta. The first week in January we have volleyball practice and I show up at the gym armed with a deep tan and stories from the Mexico travel blogs. I scan the gym from my team, and then I spot Dreamboat George.

And when I close my eyes, it feels just like I'm lying on that beautiful beach in Puerto Vallarta. The first week in January we have volleyball practice and I show up at the gym armed with a deep tan and stories from the Mexico travel blogs. I scan the gym from my team, and then I spot Dreamboat George.

And when I close my eyes, it feels just like I'm lying on that beautiful beach in Puerto Vallarta. The first week in January we have volleyball practice and I show up at the gym armed with a deep tan and stories from the Mexico travel blogs. I scan the gym from my team, and then I spot Dreamboat George.