Steven Pinker

But no one ever acknowledged that he was gay, and he would never acknowledge it.

someone who described him as a bachelor.

Confirmed bachelor.

Until he was in his late 50s when he finally, as we say, came out.

Notice the metaphors.

In the closet means that it's not public, you can't see it.

Coming out means not only can you see him, but you can see everyone else seeing him.

But that's a good metaphor for common knowledge.

And common knowledge in general governs our relationships as well as our institutions.

So it's not just money and power.

The everyday life in the subtitle comes from the fact that our relationships of deference, of intimacy, of friendship, romantic relationships, transactional relationships, they all exist because both parties know they exist.

What does it mean to be friends?

It's not like you sign a contract.

It was an implicit contract, in a way.

It is implicit, and it's a complex, that depends on common knowledge.

Namely, what does it mean for us to be friends?

It means that I know that you know that we're friends, and I know that you know that I know that we're friends.

That's all there is to it.

And so sometimes when we don't want to threaten a relationship, we might avoid common knowledge by hinting, slipping in our intentions as eating around the bush, euphemism, you kind of catch my drift, you connect the dots.

Whereas if you blurt it out, then that changes the nature of the relationship.