Steven

certain new behaviors is a really compelling one because you're right in the context of any physical development i have to go to the gym and i have to do my repetitions to build that thing that strength but i um was just thinking about creating a training regimen from for certain behaviors and new patterns that i want in my life and trying to make sure i do them every day which is not something that i've i've ever considered

Three months ago, you became a dad to a young boy, to a young son. Yes. So you're now in the process of raising a man yourself. And there's a lot of dialogue at the moment in the UK, but also just broadly in the Western world around what it is to be a man and how to raise men.

Three months ago, you became a dad to a young boy, to a young son. Yes. So you're now in the process of raising a man yourself. And there's a lot of dialogue at the moment in the UK, but also just broadly in the Western world around what it is to be a man and how to raise men.

I think much of this dialogue has been sparked by some shocking statistics that show young men are struggling now more than ever in various ways. I think the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 is themselves. And also there's just an overarching sense of, I think, purposeless meaninglessness that they're struggling in school more so than women are.

I think much of this dialogue has been sparked by some shocking statistics that show young men are struggling now more than ever in various ways. I think the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 is themselves. And also there's just an overarching sense of, I think, purposeless meaninglessness that they're struggling in school more so than women are.

Some forecasts predict that for every two women that graduate university or college, only one man will graduate in the near future. And it's pretty shocking. So when I think about the way that you're intent on raising your young man, but also what it is that young men in particular are missing in their lives, I wondered if you had... had an answer.

Some forecasts predict that for every two women that graduate university or college, only one man will graduate in the near future. And it's pretty shocking. So when I think about the way that you're intent on raising your young man, but also what it is that young men in particular are missing in their lives, I wondered if you had... had an answer.

Why do you think so many young men are struggling?

Why do you think so many young men are struggling?

You gave a TED Talk in 2020, almost five years ago now, about the five hindrances. What are the five hindrances? You described them as five mental states that are holding us back

You gave a TED Talk in 2020, almost five years ago now, about the five hindrances. What are the five hindrances? You described them as five mental states that are holding us back

When we think about this first hindrance of sensual desire... Is this where discipline comes into play? The idea of discipline, because that word is often used, but it's often lacking a clear definition, but also a clear understanding of how one attains and exhibits discipline. Because when I think about the things that require me to have discipline, it is these desires. It is the five gates.

When we think about this first hindrance of sensual desire... Is this where discipline comes into play? The idea of discipline, because that word is often used, but it's often lacking a clear definition, but also a clear understanding of how one attains and exhibits discipline. Because when I think about the things that require me to have discipline, it is these desires. It is the five gates.

It is something I want to eat. It is maybe some kind of touch that I want to have, et cetera, et cetera. So is this where discipline is important?

It is something I want to eat. It is maybe some kind of touch that I want to have, et cetera, et cetera. So is this where discipline is important?

I was thinking about my friend when you mentioned awareness there, the friend I described earlier who exhibits the same pattern. And although they might be aware of the pattern, they might say, you know, I have this pattern, I don't believe they're aware of the moment where that pattern begins, like the singular trigger which sends them in that loop. And I was thinking the same about myself.

I was thinking about my friend when you mentioned awareness there, the friend I described earlier who exhibits the same pattern. And although they might be aware of the pattern, they might say, you know, I have this pattern, I don't believe they're aware of the moment where that pattern begins, like the singular trigger which sends them in that loop. And I was thinking the same about myself.

I was like, there's some behaviours that I have that I don't like. And although I'm aware of them, in the moment when it happens, I might not be conscious that the pattern has begun. That someone has said something, something has happened. And then you go on that pattern or you reach into the refrigerator at 1am in the morning and grab the thing or you end up being triggered by something.

I was like, there's some behaviours that I have that I don't like. And although I'm aware of them, in the moment when it happens, I might not be conscious that the pattern has begun. That someone has said something, something has happened. And then you go on that pattern or you reach into the refrigerator at 1am in the morning and grab the thing or you end up being triggered by something.

So I wondered if there's a practice at all to increase our awareness of the trigger moment.