Suleika Jaouad

But I couldn't stand the sight of...

of seeing all these tiny little hustlers in their suits going to work, young mothers wheeling newborns around in prams, people my age who were having fun and getting ready to have a picnic in the park, because it felt like this reminder of what my life couldn't have been and likely was never going to be.

And more than that, I think it pointed to this yearning I had to

participate in the world.

And the deep sense of isolation and inability that I felt was my reality.

And so all these plans, these aspirations, say, of becoming a war correspondent felt entirely foreclosed to me.

I wasn't doing any of the normal young people things that I saw my friends doing on Instagram.

I wasn't going to parties.

I wasn't traveling.

I

in bed.

And it's around that time that a friend of mine suggested that we do something called a hundred day project.

And the concept was really simple.

We were each going to anchor our days around one creative act.

And it was something we were going to do together.

And my mom, who's a painter, decided to paint one small ceramic tile every day that she later assembled into a shield and hung above my bed and told me had protective powers.

And my dad, who up until that point had been a very private man, decided to write 100 childhood memories about growing up in rural Tunisia.

And he later compiled those memories into a little booklet and gave them to me and my brother.

And I really struggled to figure out what my project could be.

I could barely, you know, walk around my room, let alone do some big ambitious thing.