Susan Choi

And almost to the point that, you know, when something becomes kind of a conspicuous absence or, you know, quiet spot,

I think that I picked up pretty early on in my childhood that there was a silence around Korea.

My father used to have nightmares.

When I was a little girl, I would hear him screaming and my mother waking him up.

And I remember my mother sort of saying like, oh, you know, he has nightmares about the war, it's okay.

So I had this sense that he had lived through a war, that it was unspeakable, but it wasn't until I was probably

just getting out of college and honestly like legal to drink that my father and I had a little bit of a, I don't know if others have experienced this, I think what is called expansion of relationship to parent once you can have beer together.

The technical term for it.

You know, my father had always been very quiet about Korea.

He never spoke Korean when I was little.

And to be honest, was like a little bit of a dismissive person about it.

Like, you know, he was very much about you're an American.

You don't need to know that.

Forget about it.

But I think he really wanted to leave it behind.

And it wasn't until, again, I was old enough to notice this and sort of sit down with him with a couple of bottles of beer.

And then I'd say, you know, Dad, you've never really told me anything about it.

the Korean War, your experience, and that was when our conversations really began.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, I understand it.