Tabitha Brown
Appearances
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
There are so many more pros than there are cons. The cons are very small. They're very small. No, man, let me tell you. When people, when you get recognized... You know, I have other friends that are, you know, other comics, and I know a lot of people that are famous. And I don't know, man.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I don't want to say that mine is better, but for some reason, when I get recognized, it's, I'm not seen like, oh, it's Taylor Swift kind of a thing. You know, the recognition I get from people, the look is almost like, hey, man, this guy's like, it's like seeing a family member you haven't seen in a long time. And I feel I feel that from people when I when I get recognized.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
It's not it's very different. I see how other people get recognized. And I'm like, wow. OK, with with me, it's a lot. That's a lot different. I get people right away that are like like the glow and the energy is very it's like it feels like family, like like a moment, like a real sweet moment.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
sweet thing and um i love that it's it's it tells me that what i'm doing is making a difference what i'm doing because i get a lot of people also that will open up you know hey man i was going through this and i was watching and hey man uh just so you know you i've heard you've helped me get through so many times and it's that's an incredible feeling and that's a game changer so when i hear something like that
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
It changes the – whatever mood I'm in, it corrects it. I'm like, you know what? Stop thinking like that. Whatever you're dealing with is nothing. This dude is like – he just put things into perspective. Sure. So being fluffy is very much a – It's a good thing. A lot of pros to it, yeah. A lot of pros. Do I wish I could vent about certain things? Of course I do.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
But I think that it's part of the deal. You have to sacrifice.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
They're pretty much like this. But Gabriel does have bad days.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
He's not supposed to. And if I do, I try to find a way to push it into the show. Like, for example, in my show right now, without giving too much away because I have a new special coming out, one of the things I'm talking about is I'm talking about things that happened to me that weren't great, weren't fun, weren't awesome. I'm starting to incorporate more
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
of after so many years and now I'm almost, I'm coming up on 50 pretty soon. There's more things that have happened. For example, I'm talking about the fact that I almost died in a plane crash that made the news. I'm talking about the fact that they broke into my house. Someone broke into my house and went through my things and just a bad situation.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I'm talking about that I reunited with my father who I haven't seen in 15 years and how awkward that was. And so there's now moments where I'm like, okay, So it's not all like, hey, rainbows and unicorns type of thing. It's like, okay. So the challenge now is making those situations funny. Near death, how can you make that funny? That's a challenge.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
But I am talking more about things that aren't as fun and pleasant. What do you think has been the darkest or most miserable moments you've had? You know, I think that feeling confused is something that definitely is painful. Not knowing, living in a gray area of confusion, not being able to have clarity and understanding, especially in relationships, not knowing where you stand.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And a lot of times, I think we're the ones responsible for that because we allow certain behavior to continue because we're trying to keep certain people in our lives. And unfortunately, some people should not be in our lives. And that is a hard pill to swallow as well because as much as whether it's friends, family, or business acquaintances, some people do not belong in your life.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And the sooner you can get them out, the better you're going to be. And unfortunately, there was times when I didn't just have days or months or a year. I've allowed situations to go on for a very long time because I didn't want to be the bad guy to pull the plug. Really?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And so I took on the pain and the frustration and the issues because I didn't want to be the bad person who said, let me hit the stop button. Mm-hmm. because i didn't want to be that person but at the same time i wasn't doing myself any favors by not stopping or correcting certain things that were happening yeah i can relate to that because i've been in
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I'm still learning. And it's it's one of those things where maybe this period of time was was good and helpful and it allowed me. growth and joy and happiness, but then maybe, you know, letting it go this long, just kind of like, like it, it's now it's going down and now it's going in the opposite direction. So I'm still learning and I'm still adjusting.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And the people that I've started with are not the people that are, you know, always the ones, the ones you start with are not always the ones you end with. And fortunately there have been many people that are still in my life that I've been on this quest with for so many years.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
For example, like my team, the team of people that I have, I still have the same manager and agent that I've had for, God, like 20 years now. And it's awesome. And the fact that we've all grown together.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
has has been on the same promoter as well wow so i've i've been very in a business of show business you're always jumping around it's always go go this way this way whatever works and and you know it's very cutthroat so the fact that i've been able to maintain and have this same group of people it's it's huge because the trust is there and going back to that whole thing of having the wrong person in place i had people in place that was that were making me question
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Are these the best people for me? Interesting. And I feel like loyalty is one of the strongest, biggest things that people take for granted because they're thinking about the money. They're thinking about this or that. But loyalty is so huge. Being able to trust someone is so huge. And I think that a lot of people just kind of go, you know, whatever.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And like, oh, and that and that's why for me to let people go is really, really hard because I'm like, am I going to make a mistake? Am I going to regret this? You know, what's going to happen? And so sometimes I will overthink. But being able to trust somebody and being able to have the right people in your corner is really huge. And it is a big key to happiness and joy and peace. Wow.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Again, being able to question myself. I know I'm not always right and I will never claim to always be right. And that's one thing that I had to learn by going that, you know what? Just because you're popular, just because people like you doesn't mean you're always right. And I was writing that for a minute and I had to come with the reality that, you know what, dude? No, you're not.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
You're not always right. and uh you know that's a that's a tough one to swallow right there especially when you're selling out arenas and people are laughing at everything you say it's hard to yeah it's hard to uh admit that yeah because when you're doing all these great things like are you kidding you're in magazines you're in the top forbes uh you know uh
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
maker of the year type of thing you're you're selling out stadiums you're doing all kinds of crazy you know you got a freaking car collection that you know that Jay Leno's like wow like you're doing all these amazing things so to be able to to feel like really I'm wrong You know, that's it's hard. It took me a minute to really to get that. But yeah, I admit it all the time now.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Yeah, that was stupid. I shouldn't have done that. So, yeah, I definitely feel like that. That was huge. Being able to learn that because I feel like I did need to learn. And nobody would tell me. Really? That's another thing. Once you're at a certain place where the wheels are moving really well and money is good at keeping people, hey, let's keep this going here. Don't nobody tell them anything.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Don't ruffle feathers. Don't upset them because if we mess this up, so who's going to tell me I'm wrong? And that's a tough one. I had to figure that one out. Nobody said you're wrong because they're not, none of this, we're not going to mess any of this up. Right. We don't want to stop the money machine coming in right now and everything that's happening.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So, yeah, but, uh, I can be wrong in business. I can be wrong in relationships and I've been wrong in both.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I've made decisions where I'm like, Oh, okay.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Start eating better, start working out, and start enjoying the fruits of your labor. Wow. Stop saving all that money for who? Start enjoying life. Start taking some breaks. Start taking some trips. Start having some fun. What's it going to take for you to do those things?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
What's it going to take? I don't know what it's going to take, but I'm saying it out loud, and that's not something I've done before. Really? I've not said this out loud, back to back to back. So if it does happen, then consider this the first step, the saying it out loud. That's great. Because I've acknowledged publicly this is the issue.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
If they like what I do and I bring joy to their lives, Tell somebody. Let people know, hey, I'm only doing this because people still come to the shows. If people stop coming, then I stop doing this. So as long as people come out to the shows, that's going to keep me going. I got to a place where you want to talk about not feeling good, not feeling positive about what I was doing.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I talked about retiring. I talked about retiring because I wasn't sure that this was giving me what I needed. I wasn't feeling good. And it wasn't the stage that was hurting me. It was how I was feeling in just my everyday life. And I felt like a lot of it was coming from that. And it wasn't. It was just me not dealing with certain issues in my life. And I'm like, you know...
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
What am I doing this for? I'm still on the road. It's been so many years. And I was reminded by my publicist yesterday. He goes, you know what? You kind of brought up the retirement thing a couple of times. Oh, yeah, you're right. I did. I did. I did. I said that because, you know, at this point, I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
But I think that I'm clearly missing the fact that I do have a more of an impact than I thought I did. on people's lives and it helps more than it hurts. And I should continue to do this as long as I can. And so the best way people could support me, just keep coming out. There you go. Like, your prices are too expensive. Everybody else got more expensive tickets. Look online.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Yeah, well, especially right after Dodger Stadium because that put me in a different place mentally because it's not every day you can say that you saw your peak.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
you know and it's hard to argue that one because it's like uh okay this is the biggest it's the biggest show that's ever happened and on the west coast that i know of wow i don't know of any other show that's been that big for comedy how many people were there uh almost 50 000. holy cow yeah so you know uh so how do you set a new goal interesting you know what i mean it's like okay what am i supposed to do now you're on the other side of that and it's like oh
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
You know, you freaking jumped the shark, man. You're, you know. So, like, in a perfect world, like, if it was a movie, I looked at it like a movie, like, the best way would be to finish that night and thank you. Here's the end of the career. Wow. You know, and it was literally, I want to say... like three weeks after my 25th anniversary of being a comic. Holy cow. So I like numbers like that.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Oh, after 25 years, like this is how biggest show ever done, but I still love it. But at the same time, again, you know, Dealing, having certain situations in life and then trying to do this. That night, everything just fell into place. It felt so good. Best night of my life. Hands down, best night of my life. But then the next day, it's like, all right, now we're back to reality. Really? Yeah.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Did you kind of have like a hangover, emotional hangover? I had an emotional and a physical one because I drank on stage that night. So I killed a bottle in front of... And what I thought was really cool was that everybody... Well, I didn't see anybody leave, but it felt like even after my show was over, I stayed on stage and I just started telling random stories.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I brought my friends out on stage and we're drinking and they're playing music. I had them playing Vicente Fernandez over and over and we're taking shots and just drinking and... Oh, God. I want to say that it was almost $200,000 for the fine for going over. Oh, yeah. When you rent out a stadium, you got to be out. Yeah, you got it. There's a cutoff time. We went way past that.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And so, yeah, I got fined. Best fine I've ever paid.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Again, you know, it's not every day you can say that this was hands down, no question, best night of my life. But then, you know, all right, now what?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
COVID. COVID kept me home for a year. And in that time that I was home for a year, I started eating better. I didn't drink as much. Really? I probably didn't drink at all. And I started working out. So I probably lost 70 pounds that year. Come on. Yeah. Wow. Because I was able to be consistent. I wasn't on the road, so I was home. I was able to get into a routine.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
My friend, personal trainer, we were hanging out all the time. So we were just like, we were hanging out and working out. We were walking, working out.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So it was just that whole year, I dropped... I dropped 70 pounds. Wow. Wow. And then as soon as we went back to work, I gained back about 40 of that. So fortunately, I still kept a little bit of that progress off. But yeah, I'm not where I was in 2020. 2020, when everybody was kind of getting sick, I actually got better. Interesting.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So if I was to take a year off and that's another reason, too, I says, well, you know, if I keep grinding it out there, all I'm doing on the road is making bad decisions. I'm drinking. I'm eating. I'm just I'm not sleeping the way I should. I'm just I'm it's it's taxing. You know, it's go, go, go travel, travel, travel.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
You're just, it's, you're all over the place and I'm not doing myself any good. And so that's another reason where I was like, oh, this isn't, you know, I should probably go away from this. And so that was one of the things about the retirement and then everything else that was happening.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Oh, I know I could. And it's so much easier to make excuses. And the problem I have is I'm really, really good at making excuses. Oh, I have to go do this tour or they need me. Oh, I wish I could. But, you know, yeah. And the problem is that I believe my own excuses, you know, and that's a tough one, man. I know that half the time I'm like, come on, man, really?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Well, again, having the conversation. I don't have these conversations. People in my circle aren't going to pull me aside and go, you know, you really should stop eating so much and drinking so much. And, you know, it wouldn't kill you to lift up freaking weight. You want to go for a walk?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
it is an uncomfortable conversation because I'm, I'm being very vulnerable about the fact that this is a problem I have that I haven't addressed. And, uh, I don't, I can make a million, I can make a million excuses, but in reality, it's, it's just, it's just me. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So the best way to support me is the fact that we're having this conversation.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Oh, yeah. Those are tough words. I had to learn a lot of those words in therapy. Accountability.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
That's a big one right there. Oh, man. Yeah, no one wants to be responsible and accountable. That's a tough one right there.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
For us, it's always been we all we got. Right. You know, the saying, don't believe the hype. I live by that. Don't believe the hype. My husband, we are our foundation. That's where it begins. It's God first and then us, right? Then the children and all the things. But together, we can do everything together. You know, my husband was... We moved to L.A. so that I could pursue my dreams.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
For 15 years, he was a Los Angeles police officer. Wow. He was like, I can go get this job, and we can at least have one solid income that has benefits, you know, because we had kids, and you could pursue your dream. Wow. And never have to get, you know, a career like a job job. Although I always had a job, but I might have a job for a year or two and then quit or, you know, whatever. So...
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
He sacrificed. Right. He did that. And I used to tell him five years, I'm going to blow up out here in L.A. and I'm going to take you out of there. He'd be like, don't I don't care about that. I just want I'm fine. Pursue your dream. Pursue your dream. Right. We did that together. And so it didn't happen in five years. But after 15 years, I was like, listen.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
This don't even make sense for you to be working no more. Please retire like from LAPD and do something that you want to do, you know, something else. So being together and never letting the noise in like people start believing the hype. I am Tabitha Brown only because I carry my husband's last name. Right. So. I am a wife first. Like, that's what it is. Like, me and my husband, that's it.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Everything else is added on. That's all. It's just work is work. But we never let it. I don't know how to explain it. I think that people, sometimes they forget that marriage should be first. And for me, it's family first. It's gonna always be that. My career is my bonus that I get to live. All the other things, it's the bonus. My dream, God gave me.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I also feel like my husband was part of my dream. That's part of who I am. This is who he chose for me to do this life with.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Chance.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Honey, he makes me feel safe. but Chance is not going to do nothing that Chance don't want to do. And you'd be like, hey, you want to go there? Nope, not doing that. Like, it's just, some days it gets on my nerves, but it's also admirable, like, oh, you're not easily influenced.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Let me tell you now, it's many days, though, he get on my nerves with that. I'd be like, you know what? I can't stand that about you. And then other days, like, I love that about you, you know? But I think another thing is he's a phenomenal father. I've been able to witness my husband in all stages of his life, right? We grew up together.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
We've known each other pretty much our whole life since we were 10. And so I've seen him as a boy. I've seen him as a young man. And now, you know, a man-man, you know, he's 45. And it's been an honor to watch him evolve and grow and mature. But fatherhood has been one of the best things to witness.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Yeah, it's so funny because this is why I started this challenge. Right. This is a challenge that I started in 2014 because I was trying to because what you're describing is feeling stuck. Right. It's like, you know, there's something else when you don't know what it is. We get in such a routine that we forget we haven't done anything outside of our routine for so long.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So I always say start with doing something new. It can be as simple as driving a different way to work. or a different way to a friend's house, whatever, or walking a different way, just so that your eyes can see something it has never seen before. Something new that shifts the brain, right? Like even wearing something you normally don't wear.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Like for me, I always tell people, if you wear black all the time, throw some color on.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Like for me, I don't like wearing black, but I found this and I was like, it got a little color on it. It's cool. I'm doing a new thing, right? And so it's little things, even trying a new food, you know, going to dinner or lunch by yourself. You know how many people are afraid to eat alone? I know. Doing things that challenge you that will open up a new space inside of you.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
That's what doing a new thing does for us. And that's how we start to think, oh, okay. And then going back to like, what is your dream? Like, what's the thing that won't let you rest? And I talked about this recently because people sometimes they get confused by a dream versus a goal. Goals are things that we create. Dreams are deposited inside of us.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
We don't make them up. They live there. That's why we can't rest because they're constantly nagging us. A goal, you can be like, I didn't make that goal. Or I did it, Chet. But the dream won't let you rest. Even when you manifest it and it comes, it still is persistent. There's more to do until we are getting called home. The dream is just, it lives inside of us. It's born inside of us.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So I always say do one small thing every day towards your dream. Even if you're stuck in the nine to five job or in a relationship that, you know, or business, whatever the case is, that makes you feel like, oh, I don't have time to do something towards me. Right. Which we are worthy of doing something toward ourselves every day. Yes.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
do one small thing, whether it's reading something that can help open up, you know, an idea in your mind to help you get closer to your dream, whether it's watching a movie or a TV show or listening to a podcast that can help inspire or open up something in your mind, something small every day. One little thing.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I don't know who put that time frame on us.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I learned that I was not ready when I thought I was. I wouldn't have had nothing to show for it, right? I needed to do, as my daddy would say, keep on living. I needed to do more living before it came so that I could, A, know how to pray for it, right? Because a lot of times I used to pray, pray, pray for all these things to happen. Oh God, I want my dreams to come true.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And, you know, I'm fasting, I'm praying on it. But I was never praying, God, when I get it, prepare me to keep it.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Oh, absolutely not. I wasn't ready for everything I was going to gain. I also wasn't ready for everything I was going to lose. What did you lose? Friendships, relationships, right? Things that people that I thought I would have in my life forever. And when I started walking in my freedom, they started to disappear. Wow.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
But God revealed to me, he said, everybody's not ready to walk in their freedom. So being close to you while you're in yours is disturbing their spirit. Oh. And I couldn't allow that to affect me in a way that I know it would have affected me in my 20s or early 30s. Oh my God. But in this 45, I'm all right with it. I love them, but I understand. 45 feeling alive. I would probably feel alive.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Everybody can't go. You know, I feel like a lot of times we... We feel bad because we, especially when you love people, I love people. I'm a people lover.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And you always want to turn around and bring them back. And God revealed one day to me, he said, listen, everyone who you need to bring along, you don't have to turn around to get them. He said, because when you turn around, that's when you get distracted from it. You got to keep your eye forward. The moment you do this, you might have just crashed. He said that people were supposed to come.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
All you got to do is go like this. You never got to turn around. They right there. They right there. It's just like a hand off a baton. You watch a marathon. They ain't never turning around to reach for it. They just right here. Right. So the ones who are supposed to come with you, you don't have to turn around to go get them.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Oh, honey, listen, my husband was so happy. He was like, finally, the world get to see who I know. Wow. Yeah. I mean, for years he hated the industry of Hollywood because he saw how it changed me. He would always say, why you can't just be you? He would, I mean, it would be all the time. Why you can't just be Tab? You know, the same Tab that talked to your daddy.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And I'm like, that ain't what they want. I got to be this tab. Those were the arguments and all the no's I would get and all the hard work I would be studying and going to class. And he was like, you're doing all of this and they still don't like you. So he hated the industry for a long time.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So when I became free and started walking in my freedom walk, he was like, now the world gets to see who I love. And I was like. You was kind of right about it, I guess, all along. But no, it actually has made our relationship better and stronger.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I think the biggest fear before was, you know, dying with this thing inside of me. Like never letting it be seen, right? Fear now doesn't, necessarily live with me as much I don't know if I have a necessarily like I don't I don't know if I have a fear I want to I want to change people right I want to I want to affect them in the best way possible right and sometimes
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
trying to spread love and positivity people don't want to buy into that sometimes why is that i think misery loves company you know and sometimes happiness uh scares people you know you can have people that everything's going great and they'll be like i know something bad's gonna happen why We're allowed to go through it either way, you know?
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
So I think sometimes I don't necessarily fear it, but I am concerned. Am I doing enough? with spreading love and trying to reach people. Am I doing it the right way? Even though I feel at peace about it, I always, you know, I'm in prayer like, God, is this really what you want me to do? I want to make sure I'm not ever being triggered to get back into being in control.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Because healing is a journey. And so sometimes we can be triggered to going back to our old things. And my old thing is being, I'm in control. Instead of, no, no, I'm letting God be in control and I'm walking. And I never want to go back. I never want to go back.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Hmm. I think it's that feeling. For me, it's the feeling off balance.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Yeah. And when nothing seems to be lining up, oh, Tab, you trying to do this. Step back. Step back and let's look at every piece of the puzzle. And make sure you're not trying to create the puzzle, create the pieces and put it all together. Sit back and let God do what God does. We still have to do our part because faith without work is dead. Right. But still, you got to let him orchestrate.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I think just staying true to who I am. Right. I don't, I don't fear, um, I don't fear or project Negative, right? I'm not preparing for negative. I'm expecting the unexpected, right? Which I'm always in my mind thinking of God saying it's more than what I can imagine, right? That's greatness. That's what I'm looking forward to. I don't look forward to cloudy days, although I know they will come.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
But they're not, it's not something I'm like, oh, I'm planning for a bad day. Now, I'm planning for all good days. I am being mindful and intentional with joy. Right. So I don't think and listen, that may be the thing that holds me back. And if it does, then we will cross that bridge when we get to it. But I don't plan on. Allowing anything to shift me outside of the position God has put me in.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I think that I trust God. I believe that he has me on this journey. And I'm all right with whatever come my way.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
That's just kind of how I feel about it.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
I was always enough. I didn't need to try to do his job. Because the thing about when you conform and when you try to, you know, create another person, that's me saying, God, you didn't do a good enough job on me. I had to fix me. But he taught me. He had did a great job and I was enough just as he created me to be.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And a little journal, like a workbook journal. But yeah.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Yes. I know we were talking about it. I'm excited to get back into doing more acting. And I love that, you know, sometimes and this is important for somebody to hear. Somebody needs to be reminded of this. Sometimes we have a dream. Right. But our journey to get to it doesn't always look like how we envision it.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
And so God took me on this whole different path that has led me back to be able to do the thing that I've been dreaming of since I was a kid. And so more acting, I just finished a film, television, you know, doing things that really matter to me, making people laugh, sometimes making them cry. Right. That's what we do as actors, making people feel. That's it.
The School of Greatness
How To Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries Without Sabotaging Your Relationships
Creating more products that people can use in everyday life, because I think that's the most important thing. And I know my fan base. I know my, as I call them, my fam base. They my family. And, you know, feeding people good food, good recipes, but also feeding their soul with inspiration and staying true. So I just keep on doing things that matter and that are, you know, real to me.