Tali Sharot

Suddenly, you get that feeling again that you had the first few weeks when you moved into your house, that kind of feeling of awe.

because when you are apart away from this thing that you've habituated to in this case your home then you dishabituate meaning you start responding again you start noticing again

There is a great quote from Jodie Foster, which I actually, I heard her say this.

So she talks about going away to film for six months.

She's out in a different country.

Six months later, she comes back to her home and she said,

I came back from somewhere that is amazing and beautiful, but you know, you long for really dumb things that you're just used to.

That six months ago, I'm sure I was bored by, but right now I'm like, my God, avocados are amazing.

Or I'm so glad I get to go to the gym again.

Things that six months ago were sort of what I was trying to escape from.

Now everything is amazing.

And so what she's describing is what we call re-sparkling.

That things that you habituate to, like your home or just mundane things around you, if you take a break from them, either intentionally or unintentionally, when you come back to them, you kind of get that joy.

It triggers a joy again.

Absolutely.

In fact, we quote Esther Perrault, the very famous relationship therapist, and she says that after serving many, many, many couples, what she found is that people are most attracted to their partners in two situations.

One,

is when they went away and then they come back, right?

Absence.

And the other, which is related, is when they see the partner in a situation that's novel, that's new.