Tara Brach

And she started with Blame and Judgment, one of her best friends,

You know, she was thinking about how much more she puts out towards this person and gets back and feeling very hurt.

And how that person should be different.

So that was the beginning of RAIN.

Blame.

She allowed it.

Then she began to investigate under it.

And under the blame was a sense of shame.

I'm not lovable.

And then huge grief, which is, I'll never have the mother I longed for.

I'll never have a mother who really is there for me and loves me and lets me know I'm lovable.

So this was the key point that she needed to get to, the key place, which was this grieving about never having the mother she longed for.

And she met that with Rain.

We just opened to it and contacted with as much gentleness and presence as possible.

It's almost like saying, okay, this is here.

It's like this right now.

real loss, she opened to that grieving.

And I want to pause here and say facing that core pain is key because as long as we're in victim identity we're trying to make things different and we're never coming to terms with the pain that's here.

So only when we feel this is it, this loss, this hurt, this grief, can we open and find inside the grieving

a love and intelligence that's really our true nature.