Tara Brach

Or, you know, there might be a conflict with somebody else, but, oh, no, no, no, everything's fine.

Or, oh, yes, I've forgiven this.

It's kind of smoothing over, you know,

for the appearances of equanimity, but it's really a pulling away from life.

So that's the near enemy.

Equanimity is actually fully engaged, but it seems that it can look that way.

And the metaphor that I think is really useful when we're practicing together as we will be with equanimity

is the most classic, I think, of ocean and waves, that when we are identified with a set of waves we are going to be pushing against whatever we think is threatening to us, the criticism that we are late, that something is going to go wrong, and we are going to be grasping on to what might give us something.

That's when we are in our waveness.

But when we remember our oceaness, that we include all of this,

We can be with the waves and be engaged with them, they are part of us, but not lost in them.

And so there is a couple of little phrases that go with this, that if you know you are the ocean, you are not afraid of the waves.

And if you forget that you are the ocean, you will be seasick all the time, which is I think really useful.

So the shadow of equanimity, it's like that pulling away from the waves, okay, I am not that fear, I'm not angry, I'm not jealous.

And that's not true equanimity.

Equanimity includes what's here.

Equanimity is not an excuse for passivity.

I'll share with you about my mom who is very progressive and a social activist in her own world.

And she would say to me again and again and even more often as she got older, you know, I'm with this Buddhist thing except equanimity piece.

There's something off about that.