Taylor Ortega

Unrelated, two years, you'll go, there was the win.

I know the reason.

It does, here's the thing.

That sort of mental abuse cycle is really, it does...

It's sort of how I feel about seasons.

Now that I'm back in New York, it is sort of like the, you are getting, God, 200 no's to a yes.

Maybe more, probably more.

And so that cycle really does put your brain in this weird place where when you get a big win, you're like.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

And it is so hard and everyone is waiting so long for like their one thing.

Oh my God.

It is kind of, it does put you in a place where you're like more and more primed to do it.

And the deeper you get, the more like you learn where it's kind of like you're insane if you're not.

If you don't have a connection in this business or $5 million, you're insane for trying.

Why would you ever do it?

But you get one little win.

You get like one little, your first little unpaid thing and you're like, oh my God, there's space for me here.

Sometimes I get anxiety where I go, this is crazy.

Like an anxiety will hit me where I go.

Cause one part of my brain goes, awards are silly.