Thais Gibson

It's Friday.

I'm tired.

Instead of going out, can we just stay in and watch a movie?

Instead of setting small boundaries and requesting those needs within that framework, they'll instead go,

Canceling, not coming over.

Sorry, not going to be there.

And it's because they have these huge boundaries because they don't know how to co-regulate and communicate in that way.

And so then we have fearful avoidance and fearful avoidance are very interesting with their boundaries.

I call it the fearful avoidance boundary cycle where they are boundaryless at first because they start to people please usually.

Then they get frustrated because they're very generous.

They tend to overgive and kind of under-receive.

So they set no boundaries.

They're super generous.

And then they eventually are like, oh, I feel taken advantage of.

And then they get really triggered because they've got a lot of big core wounds.

And then they get angry and they set boundaries from anger or frustration.

And they say things harshly or critically and sometimes are a little bit too harsh or critical.

And then they feel terribly guilty about it and they go back to having no boundaries.

So they're like...

No boundaries, get frustrated, express anger, feel guilty, go back to no boundaries.