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The Duchess

👤 Person
92 appearances

Podcast Appearances

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Oh, no, this is sad.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

It was a pure accident. He just sat down and got up there. It's the classic slip and fall. Yeah, classic.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, of course. Okay. Also, do you think it was full?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Also, that's what I'm thinking about, the cap in you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I just wish he didn't have to ride his bike.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

But he also doesn't have a car. The only mode of transportation he has is that bike. That's a little telling.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, thanks for listening.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

From the bottom of your butt.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

What does bottom of my heart?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

But the deepest part, I feel like, is the center.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

No, you said from the bottom of my heart and then it made me think.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

But I'm just saying bottom of the heart doesn't feel that much more important than the middle of the heart, the core, the pulsing part.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, I'm just curious who made that up.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Probably Winston Churchill.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

You already told me the whole doc.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

You look like an Evan.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Oh, my God. Well, you're more likely to run into Rob. I'm shocked you didn't run into Rob.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

You probably did. But, oh, man, that would have been great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, it's more pure.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I'm sorry I missed you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I hope juicy isn't an operative word.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I was at Molly's gym and she has a Peloton. And every time I'm there, I try to sneak up there and get a little workout. Steal a little sash. Steal a sash because it is so fun.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yes. And any chance you can make working out fun, I'll take it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

But is he a hero? Is it like he comes in to help save the day?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Is it a ding, ding, ding? Did he get admitted to the psychiatric ward?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I just don't want to go there. Don't ask questions.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Can you tell us the weirdest object or are you not allowed?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

That one kind of makes sense.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Foreign objects and rectal.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Foreign agent, maybe?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, we look forward to hearing from you again.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I can't believe I missed him at Maru. That's sad.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

We would have to say medical.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Well, I think often there's another person involved.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I can't imagine being pregnant and dealing with this. It is hellish.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Interesting. Oh, I'm so sorry. You look like Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She's very attractive.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, like that. That is crazy. Thanks for sharing.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Yeah, that's a lot. But I get it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

It's so harrowing, their job.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Immediate infection smell. Oh, infection smell is such a bad combo of words.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

One time Dak said you should put a Jolly Rancher in there.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I'll try that next time.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

They have great personalities. They have to. Yeah. You have to be so mentally tough.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

And we're like, all right, there we go.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Apparently brains stink.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

What happens if the scarf comes off and you go, you can't help it sometimes.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I almost said something really bad. I'm not going to say it. She deserves.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

You're going to let your cat lick your open brain?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

And also, she didn't do her research. Cats love human brains. They eat them.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

I know. It's really special.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

And drain all the cat saliva.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Don't say cat babies in a brain.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

God! She was kind of like Voldemort. You know when What's-His-Name's wearing the scarf and then he takes it off and Voldemort's there? Yes, Professor Quirrell. I literally was thinking that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Literally cat saliva-induced crazy.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

So we don't know if she was nice or not. Maybe that was part of the delirium.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

All signs point to she turned into a cat. I think her brain turned into a cat brain. And now she thinks she's a cat.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

What is it? Should we look it up?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

No, don't say that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Ew, probably. This is what happens with people who love cats. They love them way too much.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

Oh. Foreign body. Rectal foreign body.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

And you're in graduate school.