Thomas Curran

there seems to be a joy and an embrace of the process in her writing and that really comes through in her pages and it really comes through in her self-analysis of how she writes and why she writes and the motivations behind it.

So I think she's a really good example actually of how you can be incredibly successful.

You can contribute so much to the world and not be a perfectionist.

Donald Winnicott was an English pediatrician, and he wrote extensively on parenting in the 1950s.

And his idea of the good enough mother was something that was of a

bombshell i suppose to mothers of the day who who were holding themselves up to really impossible standards that were being placed on them in terms of the way they parent and the way they raise their children and the idea of the good enough mother wasn't simply that perfect mothering or perfect parenting is not possible of course it's not possible but it was also it's not even desirable

for the mother themselves, but also for the child, because the child needs to learn about setback, difficulties, things not going quite to plan.

And they need to know how to handle and deal with the frustrations and disappointments of those moments, because the world is going to present those things to us all the time.

And I think those were the key lessons that Winnicott really wanted to instill in mothers, that the good enough mother can help to raise children

that are well-adjusted and happy and have a zest and purpose for life.

What do you do?

Yeah, so perfectionism indeed involves those really intrusive patterns of thinking.

I must do this.

I have to do that.

Why can't you be this?

Why can't you do that?

And I think the most important thing to do when those feelings are starting to make themselves known to you is to write them down, think about them, reflect on them, and ask yourself, maybe on a scale of 1 to 10, how...

realistic is this how achievable is this and importantly do i actually need to do this right now what if i don't what would happen and again often the consequences when we actually sit down reflect and not as catastrophic as your perfectionism would have you think that they might be

My late grandfather was a master craftsman and I used to watch him for hours as he would fashion everyday things like banisters, chairs, window frames in his workshop and they were immaculate.

From the vantage point of a child they just seemed magical, you know, how on earth were you able to create these wonderful pieces of furniture?