Thomas Curran

Was it very one-dimensional or monotonic?

You know, was I able to convey the ideas in a way that changed people or in some way made them think differently about the topic?

You know, these were the goals I had going in, but I wasn't sure in those moments where I'd actually achieved them.

It was a very messy breakup that happened in a really exposing way.

And it was something that made me feel very humiliating.

Humiliate, excuse me.

I worried about how it would look to other people.

I chastised myself about that breakup and what it said about me.

And that was turning itself into all sorts of negative beliefs about myself.

Why can't you snap out of it?

Why can't you just get through this?

So I felt a lot of self-loathing, a lot of shame, a lot of grief.

And I went into a really dark place in those moments.

And what I needed to do more than anything else was to just stop.

and deal with the emotional plunge that I was experiencing.

But my personality wouldn't let me do that.

And if anything, I was trying to push myself even harder to overcompensate for the things that are now starting to go wrong as a function of the breakup and how it impacted on my emotional well-being.

And the flashes started to get brighter.

They started to obscure what I could see.

I couldn't concentrate on the thing I was reading.