Tim Molnar

So one of them that I like to talk about is called the primacy effect. And the primacy effect stems from this idea that how an interaction starts really disproportionately impacts how the other person perceives the remainder of the experience.

So one of them that I like to talk about is called the primacy effect. And the primacy effect stems from this idea that how an interaction starts really disproportionately impacts how the other person perceives the remainder of the experience.

And so, as an example, if you show up to a date and it's totally natural to feel nervous, to feel a bit anxious, you're doing this incredibly vulnerable thing, which is showing up in front of somebody and saying, this is who I am. Yes or no? And from that place, we might make an awkward joke. And so now...

And so, as an example, if you show up to a date and it's totally natural to feel nervous, to feel a bit anxious, you're doing this incredibly vulnerable thing, which is showing up in front of somebody and saying, this is who I am. Yes or no? And from that place, we might make an awkward joke. And so now...

And so, as an example, if you show up to a date and it's totally natural to feel nervous, to feel a bit anxious, you're doing this incredibly vulnerable thing, which is showing up in front of somebody and saying, this is who I am. Yes or no? And from that place, we might make an awkward joke. And so now...

While that's totally normal, the rest of this interaction has the ability to be perceived through that lens. We are looking to confirm, our confirmation bias steps in, and every time there's a little wink, a little nod, we're thinking, is that... just further indication that this is an awkward person.

While that's totally normal, the rest of this interaction has the ability to be perceived through that lens. We are looking to confirm, our confirmation bias steps in, and every time there's a little wink, a little nod, we're thinking, is that... just further indication that this is an awkward person.

While that's totally normal, the rest of this interaction has the ability to be perceived through that lens. We are looking to confirm, our confirmation bias steps in, and every time there's a little wink, a little nod, we're thinking, is that... just further indication that this is an awkward person.

And so one of the ways that I would suggest listeners who are hearing this and thinking, gosh, it sounds, you know, I've had that experience before showing up to that date. And I knew within the first couple of minutes, like I didn't make the best impression. is instead of going into this job interview mode, which I think can feel very comfortable and saying, you know, what do you do for work?

And so one of the ways that I would suggest listeners who are hearing this and thinking, gosh, it sounds, you know, I've had that experience before showing up to that date. And I knew within the first couple of minutes, like I didn't make the best impression. is instead of going into this job interview mode, which I think can feel very comfortable and saying, you know, what do you do for work?

And so one of the ways that I would suggest listeners who are hearing this and thinking, gosh, it sounds, you know, I've had that experience before showing up to that date. And I knew within the first couple of minutes, like I didn't make the best impression. is instead of going into this job interview mode, which I think can feel very comfortable and saying, you know, what do you do for work?

And you know, how many siblings do you have? It's really showing up with, you know, a story or like something to share so that you're almost catching up like you would with a friend. And you're like, Oh gosh, kind of on the way over here, you know, like I was riding a scooter and like, I almost ran over this pigeon and it was kind of crazy. And you know, And this car had to slam on the brakes.

And you know, how many siblings do you have? It's really showing up with, you know, a story or like something to share so that you're almost catching up like you would with a friend. And you're like, Oh gosh, kind of on the way over here, you know, like I was riding a scooter and like, I almost ran over this pigeon and it was kind of crazy. And you know, And this car had to slam on the brakes.

And you know, how many siblings do you have? It's really showing up with, you know, a story or like something to share so that you're almost catching up like you would with a friend. And you're like, Oh gosh, kind of on the way over here, you know, like I was riding a scooter and like, I almost ran over this pigeon and it was kind of crazy. And you know, And this car had to slam on the brakes.

And all of a sudden, you're sort of disarming the other person. And they're like, oh, we're just catching up as friends. We're not in this evaluative job interview mindset. So you can really seek to overcome that primacy effect when you bring in that nervous energy. And then on the other end of things, to be able to make someone else feel comfortable,

And all of a sudden, you're sort of disarming the other person. And they're like, oh, we're just catching up as friends. We're not in this evaluative job interview mindset. So you can really seek to overcome that primacy effect when you bring in that nervous energy. And then on the other end of things, to be able to make someone else feel comfortable,

And all of a sudden, you're sort of disarming the other person. And they're like, oh, we're just catching up as friends. We're not in this evaluative job interview mindset. So you can really seek to overcome that primacy effect when you bring in that nervous energy. And then on the other end of things, to be able to make someone else feel comfortable,

Because I think one of the things that's easy to forget as we show up to this date, very focused on ourselves, thinking about, gosh, am I going to be good enough? Am I going to be funny enough? Am I tall enough? Am I handsome enough? Whatever insecurities or feelings we might be bringing to this, that the person on the other end of the table is experiencing those same feelings.

Because I think one of the things that's easy to forget as we show up to this date, very focused on ourselves, thinking about, gosh, am I going to be good enough? Am I going to be funny enough? Am I tall enough? Am I handsome enough? Whatever insecurities or feelings we might be bringing to this, that the person on the other end of the table is experiencing those same feelings.

Because I think one of the things that's easy to forget as we show up to this date, very focused on ourselves, thinking about, gosh, am I going to be good enough? Am I going to be funny enough? Am I tall enough? Am I handsome enough? Whatever insecurities or feelings we might be bringing to this, that the person on the other end of the table is experiencing those same feelings.