Tina Fey

You want the CVC?

Never. But I bet he's good if you like him.

When I think about him, I think he's evergreen. He's, he's the, he's always funny and he's always up for being funny and he will always make you laugh. And he's, there is a, there is a, just an unbridled joy of, in him, in the, in the pursuit of being funny. I mean, don't get me wrong. He works hard at it and, but he, but you can see that he loves it.

And you can also see that he loves to be among funny people. There are some funny people who love to be solo acts and he's not one of them. I think he's one of those people that thrives among the funnies and, and, He's just like a great guy. So inherently, that comes through somehow through the comedy, which makes you love him more.

When I found out that he had a stamp in Canada, I was like, oh, that checks out. That makes sense. You're perfect. Yeah. That's awesome.

My memory is it might have been one of his characters. His character from Half Wits.

He bought it. By the way, Canada is a much cooler place because I think Catherine O'Hara has a stamp too. I'm just saying.

You're not alone, buddy. You're not alone.

I also think, I just watched that Weird Year documentary and I also would be curious to hear a little bit of that one year in that cast on SNL.

Amy, this was a really good hang. Thanks, Maya.

Great hang. Great hang. Good hang. That's my show. My show's great hang. Damn, that's going to be better. Nope, I disagree.

And I have this, you know, scar on the left side of my face that's way faded now, but it was much more prominent then. I was like, similar to the tea thing, I was like, guess who's not going to book this pulling up to the drive-thru with my short hair with the perm on top and a big scar.

And so I just remember in the thing just being like pulling into the chair, like scooting like I'm in the drive-thru being like, I'll have the fish fillet meal and my scar will have an orange soda. And then just leaving.

I'm going to reject you. It's like, what are we doing here?

I think it has changed. I am a work based person. Like that's if I were an animal, I would be like a carriage horse. I think, you know, you know, they say like, oh, no, these are like some kinds of dogs like, no, they want to work or they'll go insane. So I am that kind of animal, I think.

But I also, I have just recently, really recently found that I have, because I went through such a stretch for so many decades where it was like you go to work for 12 to 13 hours and then you come home and you try to be with your family until they go to sleep. And then you're like, then you've got to do your homework. And I've only in the last...

year or two, had windows of time where like, I don't have homework tonight. I can just be a person in this world and maybe like watch a program. Do you feel like you can actually enjoy it in that moment? I can, although it's still, you know, I think any other writer would say this too, that the closest I can get to joy and peace is like the 36 hours after I've turned something in.

Because that's the only time when you're like, ah. I did it. I really – I don't have any homework, but I'm still a very good carriage horse because I did my work. Yes. And then after like 36 hours, it creeps back in of like, okay, I'm going to get notes back or I should go skip ahead to the next thing. I will say, though, I did go back to work this fall on a set for the first time in a long time.

And it was actually – and I worked hard to build it to be a really healthy set and really – like humane hours and it was nice to be among other humans and making something I also was extremely purposeful about bringing together people who I believed were good people who would not make any trouble for me yes and it really made a difference I feel like that's the that's success

It's how to be creative. And, you know, I think as so many TikTok stories, we won't go into which ones, but people are, like, hearing about movie sets and being like, that's crazy what's happening there. I was like, that's not that crazy. Like, that's pretty – like, movies especially are about just people going crazy and acting out and then one or two people trying to harvest –

series of photographs of those people that can be assembled into a film. But it's mostly poorly behaved, crazy people being indulged by various parties.

Insecurity makes people behave wildly. I even have learned to realize that, we talk about relationship to work, that I have now learned that I get very, very grouchy and nervous when something has to be written. Because it is like having a stomach flu. And you're like, it's the sick you feel before you either...

eject it one way or the other and it just really gotta come out one end grouchy until it comes out and I can at least see that pattern but doesn't prevent it from happening but I'm like okay here's what's happening I feel that way about when I'm in a situation where I don't feel like there's a strong leader

Yeah, I think the one way is, yeah, you shut down. And the other way is you try to clumsily take over and make people uncomfortable. Yeah, those are the only two, those are the only two options. They really are. I know.

This is brought to you by lip balm. The concept of lip balm. The Lip Balm Foundation. Promoting all lip balms everywhere.

I'm not shy to do that.

I'm afraid it will wipe off what little color is left. But you're not a germaphobe. I'm not a germaphobe, and I think it's a real unattractive quality in someone else when they're like a germaphobe. Especially in a man. In a man, it is such a deal breaker.

Shake hands and then go wash your hands, you freak.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, I was I got my license had expired. And during the pandemic, you were like you was before the pandemic. You were like, you got to get your license back to me. You're like, you can't be one of those older ladies that doesn't drive. And I'm like, you're right. You're right. You're right. I do. No, I love to drive.

I love to drive. And you love it. And the name of your car is... My car is named Karen because she's a white Subaru.

Yes. Because as you've said, a lot of the actual worst Karens were in fact named Amy in real life.

It's a real...

No, I feel like I know what I what you should tell me about, which is the especially coming out of the pandemic. Yeah. My mumbling talking. Yeah. You're mumbling. Metastasized. You're mumbling. And sometimes when I'm thinking really fast, like it really is. Even I'm like, wow, what's going on there? Like I have to work to fully form my words. What do you think is going on there?

I think I stayed home a lot in the pandemic and muttered to myself. And I hope that's it and it's not a precursor to some kind of mental decline. It was like her muttering started when she was 53. And then she became one of the Crumb Brothers from the movie Crumb. Everyone pause the podcast. Go watch Crumb real quick. But I'm trying to think if I don't.

I know mine. Exactly.

How do I say this without saying it? Mm hmm.

Because you're playing Candy Crush the whole time.

Now, how do I articulate that? There's a certain type of strident, older showbiz that's like, listen to me, honey, I don't give a fuck. And I'm like, oh, God. But that's so not you. You're a mutterer. I'm a mutterer. But there's also something about the look of it. As often as I say, like, I'm going to cut my hair, and my friend Guy has been doing my hair for 30 years, he's like, no.

No, you may not. Well, you have the best hair in the business. Thank you. People should know this. Let's get grandma a hair campaign. This is all Tina's hair. This is all my hair. Thank you. And much like skinny people who are mad about Ozempic, in the early 2000s when all these bitches started wearing tracks, I was like, what? What?

you can just have what i have this is all i have it is it is the most incredible real hair thank you so much uh we just did this i just did this show called the four seasons that's coming out in may and uh there's a scene it's based on this old movie with alan alda and carol burnett and there's a scene in the old movie where carol burnett carol burnett is very angrily brushing her short hair which is so it's like the most 1981 thing ever like first of all we know like

you don't vigorously brush short hair. It's going to look terrible. But she's in the scene, she's fighting, and she's brushing her hair. And I put just a little bit of that in the show. I just put myself in the eye.

And I kept saying, Coleman Domingo was directing that episode, and I kept saying, like, Coleman, I'll tell you what, a lot of these movie stars, they can act better than me, but they can't brush their hair on camera because they're all wearing fucking wigs. And they're all wearing, and so I'm like... I was like, insisted in the edit that couple shots of me brushing my hair stayed in.

And then I went to the mix and I was like, oh, did you turn down the sound of my hair brushing? Turn it back up.

That's what producing is. It's insanity and narcissism.

Turn up the sound of the brush going through my hair.

I don't have a glasses line because I have to say, you hate money. I do kind of hate money. As we know, I'm terrible with money only in that I'm like. You are not terrible. No, I'm not terrible. I don't waste money, but I don't get excited about money. If I'm safe and I have enough money to live, I have a problem with rich people having a side hustle.

No, that's just you're doing work. I'm saying if you sold like, where would my line be for you? Where would I draw the line?

You know what I mean? If you already have, like, $200 million and you're like, also, I need you to... But, Tina, that is... This is where you have to learn from Gen Z. I'm sorry.

They don't judge it. I judge it.

Yeah. Well, I have my line of children's medications. And I told you, that's so treacherous. No, guys, by the way, one time, a million years ago, I remember seeing, and I won't name this actress, but someone could figure it out. I remember seeing an 80s actress promoting her line of homeopathic children's medications.

I was like, why on this earth would I trust an actress for pediatric medications? Right.

Right.

Yeah, and just fighting everybody. Yeah.

Unless there's some amazing. There will be. Okay. We'll see. Like new lungs, there'll be a whole thing.

And he says welcome to hell.

an angel on this earth god so talented so beautiful gorgeous inside and out like a beautiful human being um yes so we're doing this show the four seasons on netflix i'm very excited about it it is um based on this 1981 movie that was written and directed by alan alda another angel on this earth can i tell people that i said hello to alan alda at your house recently alan alda came to my house that was pretty cool alan and

It was a real lovely wife. Momentous occurrence. I mean, Alan Alda was huge in our lives. He remains huge. Yeah. And he's such a big deal. Like you can't even imagine what a giant. Do you remember the Super Emmy? No. One year. One year they gave out a Super Emmy. So it was like you could call it a Super Emmy? It was called a Super Emmy.

And he's the only person that ever got it because it was like they won like best show, best directing, best script, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the Super Emmy goes to Alan Alda. Everyone was like, OK, that's enough of the Super Emmy.

You should have him on the podcast. He has a great podcast. I have listened to his podcast. It's one of the few that have penetrated my fortress. That's what she said. I would love to talk about it because it was a truly joyous experience top to bottom. One of the things I'm most proud about of this whole thing was that

so many people actors and crew came up to me and were like this is the most pleasant job we've ever had and it was like I said it was built as intentionally as possible to be all good souls and It's Coleman, a beautiful Italian actor named Marco Calvani, Steve Carell, Will Forte, Carrie Kinney Silver, and Erica Henningsen. And it's basically that little ensemble is pretty much that's it.

Very few day players, very few, like no real, very few guest stars. And so it was a really cozy environment. And it's a very, very gentle program that I am kind of just can't wait to see if people are interested in a gentle, A good hang. Yes. It hopefully is the TV equivalent of a good hang because it's just, you know, there's some story, but there's no zombies. There's no mysteries. Great.

Yeah. This is, I mean... For the people who want 100 jokes per minute, this is a departure. These characters are funny, but it's all completely human scale.

So again, we shall see. And I feel like it is just a little science experiment where people might be like, no.

It's AI generated listicles.

What is making you laugh? I have a couple things that I like to watch. One of the things I like to watch is, and again, I'm going to keep referencing TikTok. I am not a public account. Don't find me. Don't look for me. Don't look at me. If anyone's pretending to be you, they're fake. It's fake, yeah. But I like to watch videos of people either doing,

or learning or trying to teach Beyonce's homecoming dance break. So either someone who can do it, or I love it when it's a person who you don't expect them to be able to do it, and then they do it. Like they're holding a laundry basket. Yeah, so they're a mom in their laundry room, and then they do it. I have tried to watch tutorials to try to do it. I'm not a great dancer, and I...

I know that if I was given from now to the end of my life, I could not learn the first 16 counts of that dance. Yeah. But I love watching people do it. And then the other day I was watching a whole bunch of people doing it and it took me – one guy was like a really –

beautiful ripped guy in like shorts no shirt doing it and I was like oh this is a new layer of this and then the algorithm was like oh you you watch that so you just want to see videos that are just like hashtag rugby build and it was just like oh yeah guys with a rugby build and I was like I think I do want to watch this.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. And these are in slow motion. Yes. Yeah, I wasn't mad about that change in my algorithm. And, okay, so another thing that I really do, the only other television program that truly brings me joy is my weekend local news in the morning. Wow. I love... And by the way, they know this and they're probably like, stop talking about us. It's getting weird. Who are your anchors?

I love NBC4, Pat Battle, Gus Rosendale. It is, I find to be the most truly informative, nice program on the whole week. Here's what you get, Amy. You get your news. You get your national news briefly. You get your local news. Mostly local, right? Okay. Then you get...

produce pete oh i love produce pete nice old italian man comes out tells you what's in season what to make with it incredible then it used to be more frequently before the pandemic before the pandemic he used to be in person uh bill's books nice uh gentleman named bill come tells you what he read what he liked about it what he recommends that you read

Before the pandemic, they also then used to sometimes be like, here are some animals that are up for adoption. I feel like that's gone away. But that's it. And then the weather and the traffic and Pat Battle and Gus, I believe they're friends. They have a wonderful rapport. You don't know what their deal is? I mean, I don't think they're more than friends, if that's what you're implying.

I would never. But I feel like they like being coworkers. What a great name, too, Pat Battle. Pat Battle. Have I? Listen, one time it was like a hurricane or something, a blizzard. Pat Battle went out on the street in her hometown. That's a big deal. She went out where she lives in New Jersey, and she was helping people push their cars. That's cool. That is what America should be, okay?

It's Pat, it's Gus, it's Produce Pete, it's Bill's Books, we help our neighbors. That's the America I wanna live in. If you've got Battle in the last name, you gotta push somebody's car. Right, listen, have I invited Pat Battle to events? 100%, like too many times. Does she show up? Yes, we have a good time, great. So you've met Pat Battle. I've met Pat Battle. And what was that like?

Did sparks fly? I mean, she thought it was pretty funny that I keep bothering her and I'm obsessed with her. But Pat Battle's in an episode of 30 Rock. Oh, really? As herself? Yeah, we did one episode where Liz Lemon gets invited to a women in media luncheon. And then, of course, the gag is that they have a big screen and they can't figure out to get it to work. And all women are all like...

turn it on and off again and like but it's like it was like hat battle gail king um a couple other news ladies and andrea martin played like the lady who was running it and she her character has a breakdown in the middle of the thing and she's talking about how her husband left her and she's like i just remember she had some line where she was like i put my andrea martin impression get ready okay

I put a sweater on a body pillow and I took it for a canoe ride. Like everyone, all the women lose their minds at the women in media luncheon.

That makes me feel nice. And I'm also, I'm drinking coffee. I'm with Jeff. It's morning.

Everything hasn't gone to shit yet. And then weekends off the weekend plans are all possible. But the news, but that's a new, but the news is local. Listen, it's local. It is. It's local.

Oh, everything's on fire. Yeah, but then it's also like, there's a food festival on City Island. And Curtis Pete's like, check out these artichokes. He's like, Betty's going to make the squash pie called matzo goots. Speaking of Betty, people should know that that's what I call you. That's right.

You called me that in front of Colin Jost the other day, and he seemed very delighted. I can't believe he didn't know that.

Did you meet him? I have a terrible memory. I remember I hated every minute being at the Harvard Lampoon. Boy, me too. What a bunch of dorks.

They invite you to come up, and then you go there, and then a bunch of, like— snivelly little worms. By the way, try to roast you. And they're not good at it. No, they're not good at it.

He was the baby. Okay.

I don't remember any of the actual people that roasted us. I remember the face of one guy. And has he gone on to work in comedy? I don't believe he has.

Yeah. Like you're not better than me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, why isn't everyone just like, no, nerds, thanks, no thanks?

Don't lose my number forever. Go fuck yourselves.

What makes me laugh? We didn't really get into that. We watched for comfort. The thing that made me laugh the hardest most recently was this clip of Bobby Moynihan from... They did these really great SNL documentaries, and it was a documentary about auditioning for SNL. And it was people, and you were in it. You were great in it.

And they talked to people about the process of auditioning, and then they show them their audition back. And people get emotional. People...

you know they've never seen it or like oh my gosh this is from 50 years ago or whatever and they showed made bobby watch his audition back and he's doing a character that's in his audition that's just beyond inappropriate and he's watching it and he's he's watching it and he goes oh no And then he just goes, oh, Bobby.

And the way he says, oh, Bobby, the way he calls himself by name is so gentle and so – it made me laugh so hard. And I think it should be the TikTok sound that people play. Like when you have to – you have to see a piece of comedy that you're like, okay, we realize now that that's not okay. You just show the content and just hear the voice of Bobby going, oh, Bobby. Yeah.

And that's how you apologize for problematic content in the past. You just put the Oh Bobby sound over it and it means I see it. I'm sorry. Let's all move forward. I know better now. I know better now. I do better now. I'm an ally who makes mistakes. Oh Bobby. Oh Bobby. Oh Bobby. That really made me laugh. I couldn't stop watching it.

I know, like... Like, what's my skincare routine? Yeah. Nothing. I mean... Do nothing, nothing, nothing, and then expensive lasers.

No!

Maybe. I don't know.

What percentage Tina Belcher am I?

this before you go is your dad like a really good artist yeah really good at caricatures do you have any of that artistic ability i wish i had more i think both my daughters have it i i do in the summer and i go to fire island in the summer and i like to paint portraits in my free time and they are terrible and they're like they're getting slightly better but not not at a rate that

um that would impress like they're terrible um but i look because it's the only thing i want to paint is to i want to try to capture people's faces people like that i love and um uh i should take some classes because of course the problem is i don't draw the head right and then they come out like sometimes i kind of like how wonky they come out but um uh No.

Of the four people in my immediate family, I am the least talented at art. My daughters are very talented. Jeff is very talented, can draw and paint. But can I just quickly, my favorite, the story of when my dad, who loved coming up to visit SNL, it was like Fred's

one of his first few shows, and my dad was coming up and visiting, and he was, like, standing in 8H while we were getting ready to rehearse Update at that, like, 5 o'clock time, and Fred was in a costume for some other sketch. He was in a tuxedo, and my dad had not met him yet, and he just came up to my dad in a tuxedo and just came up to my dad in character, just going, this is Rainbow Room?

Yeah. I look for a rainbow room. See, I can't tell the story because I can't. I shouldn't be doing this accent. But Fred, I guess, can do it. We'll get a robot to do it. Get a robot to do it. But it was so funny. And your dad was like, I don't love it. Oh, he loved it. And he used to paint little portraits, little caricatures of Fred as like Ferracito, as Prince.

And he would mail them to me and I would give them to Fred. And I think Fred still has one, which is, I think, what made him think of that question.

He was Fred's biggest fan.

He was a great artist. Smart artist. Cool guy.

So it's back to juice.

And begin. And we need everyone to clap. Personality on. It's not working.

This means the most? Okay, great.

Yeah, because it's the only way I can get off. No, I'm just kidding. I have to step on your neck and talk to you. You know what else? Sometimes when I hear things like this back, I go, oh, why was my voice so nasal and annoying? So should we just take a little minute to just, hmm, just let's warm up our voices.

No, I don't remember that. I remember him saying, let me hold that baby.

do you remember that character did that air i don't know it was a really funny it was almost like a premise for a short story where he was just like a sweet old man in a train station and then somebody was a young host was there with her baby and he was she was like chatting with him and he just goes let me hold that baby and it was her dilemma was like i don't actually know this man like should i let him hold my baby like what if he runs away what if he smashes it like a basketball into the ground let me hold that baby

Okay, but you don't do a lot of podcasts. I don't do a lot. I'm very selective in my podcast work.

Oh my gosh, thank you. It was so funny and good. Thank you. That is one podcast that I do listen to and enjoy. That and Dratch, anything Dratch says. Those guys are funny. But I felt a lot of pressure. I went in there knowing you have to do that one minute thing at the end and I...

Something I think about a lot, and I fall short of it constantly, but a million years ago, I was a writer still at SNL, and I remember Steve Martin came to do something on the show. He wasn't hosting, but he came to the show, and he had just been on Letterman the night before. And I said, oh, hi, how you doing? I said, oh, my gosh, you were so funny on Letterman last night.

And he just very matter-of-factly said, oh, well, you have to kill every time. And that has haunted me every day since. And he's right. And it's like, oh, right. Like if you're a beautiful actress from, I don't know, like Melrose Place. No, just whatever. Like you're just a beautiful actress. You can go on and be like, I went to the store once.

But if you're a comedy person, you have to kill every time. Yeah.

No, no, never. Because again, I'm not really so interesting on paper. Like I remember going to commercial auditions in Chicago and we had friends at that time. Chicago was a thriving town for commercials. I don't know if it still is, but there were, you know, huge ad agencies were based there and they would shoot things in Chicago. And a lot of people that we worked with at Second City were,

would get a lot of work that would pay for their whole year. I did a little bit of voiceover work. I had a pager. Remember, you'd have a pager. You'd be like, guys, my pager's blowing up. I might have a voiceover audition downtown. I got to go.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, because, by the way, that's insane. Yeah. Like that's that's that's one of the that's a tiny micro version of when we try to explain the 90s to younger people of like how so many things you like. Oh, that lady would literally be fired and tried in front of a jury for asking you that in the workplace. I had a bite and smile type thing where it was a McDonald's audition and.

And everything always was like, OK, so take, you know, two trains and a thing and get way out to wherever this audition is. Then you get there and you and it was for some new kind of happy or drive through meal, whatever. And I went all the way to the thing and I got there and I realized as we were going into the session, like, oh, this this commercial is for a person pulling into a drive through.

Okay, so have you ever done a voice at Pixar? No.

That's an oversight. That needs to happen.

I got lucky enough to do one. But so the guy, Pete Docter, who runs Pixar, super nice guy, legend, the kindest, loveliest man. And he invited me in on this super nerdy thing that sometimes they do where they have, I guess they used to do it in person during the pandemic. They were doing it over Zoom.

where they just have literally like someone found a case of like weird B-roll building the park footage and they just play it like they haven't seen it. And it's just like from like 1971, we're building the Haunted Mansion. And it's just like raw footage of nothing but like guys working. And then there's experts on who like they're all these imagineers who are talking about what it is.

And then they just drink. Really? And it's amazing. And because it happens on the West Coast, if you're watching it East Coast, it's like two in the morning and you put your laptop in your bed. Wow. But it's so cool.

He's a great American.

He came to D.C. He came the first weekend.

The shows are so fun. I do hope you'll come to the Beacon.

Yeah, please come. Bowen's like, I'm going to be quiet.

We have the best time. It's the two of us. We take you on a little journey if we can. And we usually always have like one special friend show up. And we go to these cities. People are so lovely to come see us. And then we stay at a nice hotel. And I've said this before, but it is like we get up. Like the other night, I really did text Amy before a show.

And I was like, right before we went out, she was on the other side of the stage. I'm getting excited about going to sleep. Because we do, like, we have so much fun. Like, I'm also learning, like, I love the part where we do the show. And I was like, I guess some people go on tour because they want to party after the show or whatever, or they want to hook up.

And I was like, I like the part where we do the show. And sometimes if we have a new thing and it works, I'm like, that works. And then I go home and I wash my face and I, like, stand in silence facing a wall. Like, I'm like a little...

I had a 19-hour day. But you guys look good. That's the difference. You still look really good. I put on concealer because the cameras today.

I don't know. I tried to do my makeup today, and I probably will see this and be like, oh, is I coming from a matinee of playing Mrs. Lovett? Did you see Sweeney Todd?

I didn't get to. My husband went. I didn't get to see. I was touring. I try to use that Rare Beauty blush, which is great, but it's so pigmented that then I do it and I'm like, I'm either looking great or baby Jane.

I haven't watched it yet, but I think I will. I don't watch every part of the... Murphyverse. Murphyverse. Yeah. But that one, I'm like, you might get me. I do feel, I was like, okay, the PR is over time. Yeah. Because there's so many articles now about it. I was like, are we... This is really what we're... This is top of mind in every paper, but... Yeah, it does seem interesting.

Yeah.

Yes, yeah. And I loved it. Well, I do think that is, you know, that he is giving these actresses, like he's making people's phones ring. Yeah. Who maybe their phone wasn't ringing that much.

Yeah. Like her phone rang off the hook for this. And you know what Molly Ringwald has been doing in the meantime? Translating French books. Translating French books. Yes, yes. Okay.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's really smart.

She also needs to keep looking. She didn't just find a uniform and stick with it. She was like never satisfied.

Is it a knit? Is it a sweat? It's a sweat. It's a sweatshirt.

There's medicine.

Again, as we continue to make the list of great Americans, who do we have so far? We have Sam Loomis, Kenan, who was somebody in between. Chloe Sevigny?

I mean, You're a great New Yorker. Yes. Amazing New Yorker. Top 20 New Yorkers.

Yes. Are there too many dogs?

There's a lot of dogs. I mean, I don't go to like the dog park and that kind of stuff. I have people that do that. My dogs poop inside every single day.

Oh, they're a mess. Sometimes I'm like, guys, I'm the queen of Versailles. I can't have this. And the dogs are like, we haven't watched that.

No. Someone just told me about this. I will watch it. I did recently rewatch the original.

Fascinating. Incredible.

Because like all documentaries, not all, but a lot of great documentaries, they started thinking it was going to be about one thing. And then it changes. That usually is exciting.

The Jinx and also Capturing the Freedmen's.

Have you ever seen that?

Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, because it's supposed to be about this guy who's a party clown. And then it turns out that he has this dark family history and they follow that. But you know that Silly Billy, the party clown, used to play the SNL holiday party up on 17. He would come and do like party clown stuff. Like when I was a writer, when like Norm MacDonald's son would be there, that era.

So I saw the doc and I was like, that's, oh my God, that's Silly Billy. Oh no, Silly Billy's family. Yeah.

So, no.

He was not.

There used to be a little, you know what it was? They would have, when the tree lighting was happening. Yes, yes, yes. They'd have bagels and stuff. Bagels, they still do that. And people would bring their kids, yeah. Oh, they would bring their kids to that? Some people would bring, you know why? Because Lauren's kids were little. That's why.

Yeah.

It's a nice moment. But we were talking, you asked about New York and has, does New York have too many dogs? Probably. Does it have too much Lululemon? I mean, it's a mix in my neighborhood. It's a mix of like, there's a Lululemon and then everything else is vacant.

The message, that was the help. Yeah. The PSA was the help.

You want one.

Because no one brings their dog to SNL.

They stay in the dressing room?

No.

I don't think so.

Let everyone have what they need. Let's make sure everyone's fine.

yeah I went there I was 97 when I went there and I mean that I see with clarity now like the 90s were so rough like rough rough rough in what sense what do you mean like kindness was not in fashion oh no

And no mental health was like, what?

What is that? What are you talking about? And that's why everyone ended up with some form of like temporary kind of OCD and, you know, but even just when you look back at. You just look back at like 90s Letterman interviews. Yeah, totally, totally. And you're like, oh my gosh, he's just like haranguing a teenager.

And we were like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, you got her. That dumb slut.

That 55-year-old man told that... Dumb teenager.

You know what I mean?

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's just so many things. Even people like... Have you seen that? Again, these are all people that I, you know, hold nothing against them. But like there's some old Conan clip where the lady from Melrose Place is on. Heather Locklear? No. Oh gosh.

The other blonde lady.

Courtney Thorne-Smith.

First of all, thanks for putting that out there. Thank you. I believe it's Courtney Thorne-Smith. And I forget, maybe it's like, I don't know if it's Conor on one side and Norm on the other side or something. And they're just like doing a bit, like some kind of bit that she looks really hot or whatever.

And she's just trying to tell her story from whatever it is, the pre-interview of like a funny thing that happened to her. And it's like two maniacs on either side of her. And you're just like, oh yeah, we're not doing that anymore. But at the time it was like, ha ha ha. And those are like, Conan is a lovely, kind, involved, intelligent person.

We all were, I should probably try to think of a story that I tell on myself instead of like, but they were like, we were just hard.

Well, I feel like that was a crazy good time and Seth was head writer and was doing a great job and the world wasn't as dark. And yeah, for me, I felt like that was my like prayer for Owen Meany moment where I was like, was I born to look like this lady? I guess so. Yeah. But now it all seems so gentle.

Right.

Like doing- And he was doing Bush and stuff.

I think I remember that was the one that my parents were like, that was a little too far. They were, because they're Republicans.

That was a little too far? I forget what, I don't remember what the jokes were. Ah, right. They were on board till then. And then they got back on board. It wasn't a rift.

I caused it.

And Amy didn't. It was just me.

That's a great memory. That's a great memory.

Well, no, I mean, we used to, I mean, when we were at SNL, we used to go out until I had my first child. And then I would sometimes begrudgingly go out and be like, you have to sit with Lauren. I'd be like, okay.

But we used to go, but I never was an after after. That was always, I'm like. Yeah.

No. I remember, I feel like one time Tracy Morgan had like, he did like an illegal private casino somewhere. Yeah.

Okay, I've been thinking about this question. I struggled to understand it, but I think I'm going to try to frame it like, have you ever done those I am from poems? Yes. Oh, yeah. So if we frame it that way, I'm also much older than you guys. And so I'm really going back. I may say things that mean nothing to you, right?

Like... I am from watching Benny Hill as a family. Good for you.

What? Watching a weird old man ogle women bikinis being like, this is formative. As a family. As a family, like it's on PBS, guys. Get around. I am from, you know, a time when it just, our whole life was you go to Blockbuster.

You rent The Stepfather. you went the now incredibly problematic sleep away camp. Oh, one or two. That's like, and you watch it with your, you know, gay friends. Again, if you want to talk about how hard it is, like cackling at like knowing, like it's horrible.

Or like it's me and my best friend, Marlene going to pretty woman when it first came out and immediately cackling being like, we're the only ones that know that she's a sex worker. And this is grim.

Okay, this week it's Richard Gere, but every other week it's terrible. Cackling. What else? I mean, real world New York season one. Guys, I remember getting up early with my brother to see the beginning of MTV. Wow. The first season. Video.

Like video killed the race. Like let's put it on.

Getting up to see Live Aid. Yeah. And being so pumped that it was partly in Philadelphia. Wait, it was? You guys like Phil Collins is on the Concord. You guys see Phil Collins is on the Concord. Wow. Yeah, it was for whatever reason, because the quality of the venue, it was in wherever it was in Wembley, I guess.

And like Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia or something. It must have been the vet.

No, and that was the big thing was they were like, Phil Collins is going to play with this band and then get on the Concord and play again. Oh, Phil. What else has formed who I am? You know, Sheila E., The Glamorous Life. Wow, thanks for that.

Oh my God, that's right.

Good, I'm glad.

What else can I give you? The divinals, I touched myself. The divinals. That was like, or like me trying to have, to no success, trying to convince people that our junior prom theme should be, there must be an angel by Eurythmics.

nobody was the theme I was like just gonna keep writing these papers and putting it in the box no what was it ultimately Under the Sea they needed to get well it was like Bryan Adams Heaven and then I think maybe senior year was maybe like This is the Time Billy Joel which was a new song yeah

You would love it.

Renting two things over and over. Over and over. Over and over. Watching another one was like... Arachnophobia was a big one. I feel like there's a Martin Sheen one that I can't think of that was like a horror movie. Maybe that's right. And like also with my two good friends, Jim and Damien, who are brothers, who between the two of them are the amalgam that are the basis for the character Damien.

And in their house, they had a back staircase that had been closed off and made into a pantry that was full of every kind of junk food. Absolutely. And we would just go up there and get after it. And also just like... Get after it. Get after it. It is like no one did fitness. Your outfit was like a high collar thing with a blazer. Drinking soda.

Drank so much soda. Would eat like a cheese hoagie. So like a 12 inch hoagie with three kinds of cheese. And then still able to poop.

I'm trying to think of Culturally, too, it was, like, V.C. Andrews' Flowers in the Attic. Flowers in the Attic. Reading those on, like, the beach at the Jersey Shore. Yes. Or, like, on the trolley to work. This is so evocative. Other weird things that I don't realize are, like, I was obsessed with Paul Young. Paul Young. That was, like, Every Time You Go Away.

Well, he was super cute. Oh, okay. Yeah, and, like, SCTV used to be on after SNL three weekends a month, and then the fourth weekend it was wrestling, and he'd be like, uh-huh.

Oh, my gosh. Or Andrea Martin. Andrea and Catherine.

For sure. Andrea gives me the frisson.

I'm more worried about what they were up to, maybe.

Good Americans. That's going to be the name of this.

Um... But we also, I mean, we also were like Janet Jackson, Madonna, Go-Go's, like that's a long, Eurythmics. I remember also remember when Eurythmics came out, like when the first Sweet Dreams came out. And we were like, people were scared of them. It was like, she had that short hair and she was wearing a suit and everyone was like, what's happening?

Yeah.

Remember that. I do say revisit There Must Be an Angel.

You guys talked about this, that it's the year of the needle drop.

I have seen some of them, but not all of them.

Yes.

They really are. They really are.

Yes. I know. I have to go back and get into it so I can see where her character arc went. I know.

Yes.

I've reached a point where I don't do it. Unless it's something that I'm in charge of and it's like I have to edit it. I'm like, oh, I'm going to make this movie and I have an idea. I'm never going to watch it. Yeah, got it. And that's like freeing.

Of course. That's really exciting. I'm excited about that too. Yeah, this is going to be good. I hope so.

Oh, Tracy and Lang, the best. Tracy Wigfield and Lang Fisher. Oh yeah, that's gonna be good. Super funny writers.

Oh, that's great.

That's where it started. First Wives Club. That makes sense.

Yeah, she's great in that movie.

She's great in that movie. She's great in L.A. Story. Yes. Yeah. She's great in Ed Wood.

Wait a minute, Bowen. Ed Wood is so great.

Yeah.

I was going to say, except the Beacon.

I think I mostly just sat. I feel like people at SNL do much better sort of self-care and living their lives. But I think in the beginning, my now husband was still in Chicago. So sometimes I would go back to Chicago for the week or whatever. But no, I never took one real vacation. Yeah. I'm just still learning how to do that. I'm like, all right, you book a trip and then you go there.

Doesn't seem good after that.

Who wrote that?

I am trying to remember. I know I did a bunch of it in the summer. I feel like maybe it was over two summers because it was the first time we rented a house in Fire Island on a gas tire, had recommended just doing that. And we went and we trash picked a desk and we carried it. And I remember Jeff's arms got like a huge, because you never, it's not Fire Island if you don't get a weird rash.

And he's like immediately got a rash. And I was like, oh, I think there was deer pee all over the desk or something. What? And so I must have been doing first draft the first summer and then the shooting. I remember the second summer was the shooting draft because I would get Mark Waters, the director, I would get pages of notes every single day. And I'd be like, I think I did it.

And then be like, okay, let's go through today again. He's like, page four. And I'd be like, hmm.

It was stuff of like, where are they? Could this be short? It was like a lot of technical stuff. And there was an amazing woman named Jill Messick who worked for Lorne at the time. She also was just like poking me, okay, like a lot of drafts in between unofficial drafts. So I don't think I was doing it. I must've been doing it on weeks off.

I don't think, I don't have a memory of doing it, trying to do it at the same time as the actual show.

Yeah, because I had never been in a movie before and I didn't know what I would go and to be in the scene. I'd only done SNL and I wasn't even really in sketches on SNL, just an update.

So I would be like, I would literally be like, in my head, I'd be like, I don't know if I'm on camera right now. So I'm going to try real hard every time.

Like didn't know to even ask if I'm in this part of the setup. And she, her performance was so small that I remember being worried and going to Mark Waters and being like, I don't know. And then you get the dailies and it was like perfection. But it was very, it was small. It was a film performance. It wasn't like me like...

But you learn. But the difference is that when you see when you see people on SNL, when you see someone like Ayo who understands the assignment to use a now old phrase.

She understands what she's supposed to do and what sketch requires. And then you compare to, well, not name names, but you see people who come in who have only ever done film, whose performances are built in the edit room, who have no internal sense of pacing or even energy. Yeah. And you, and oh!

Yeah. That's what Amy talks about how because we do a Q&A in our show and like we often get asked, like, you know, who are your favorite guests and stuff? And she's like, I love athletes because they're used to being coached and they don't care. And you just be like, just do that. They just do it louder and like, yeah. And they're like, OK.

Yep. Also, by the way, people who've done then there are fewer and fewer of these people, but used to be people who had done soaps. Because you know who's got his start on soaps? Alec Baldwin. Wow. Julianne Moore.

Make a choice. Make a choice and go.

That's your favorite movie of the year? We love May, December. I enjoyed it, but.

That music when she's like, we're out of hot dogs.

Oh my God, yeah. And sometimes, you know, real stars, they don't really do what they're going to do until you're on their close up. And so, you know, you look at those first two seasons of 38 Rock and I'm like, hey! And he's like, you won that one, sir. You won that one.

Very meaningful to me. Yeah. Because those, you know, Heathers and Clueless were hugely formative. Yeah.

Yeah. Hello.

Thank you. I feel like, I mean, part of the reason that it worked is because those girls were so legit and took it seriously and played it so real, you know, if they had been campy about it. Because I think that's the thing I try to sometimes pass on in whatever, writer's rooms or whatever. It's like no one, no villain... No one's the villain in their story.

Like Regina's whole thing is like, it's hard. Like she's going to come crying to me and then I got to help her. Like no one's the villain in their own story, right? And I think they all played that perfectly because, you know, and you can see now like Regina's villain, Janice's villain, Katie's a huge villain. Like everyone's making mistakes and they played them all perfectly.

But, you know, I think I was just at that place of like, basically like, is it going to air? You know, we're going to, it's going to get made. That was the triumph in my mind.

I read this book, I think it's called like Wild and Crazy Guys. And it's just a little nonfiction book about that span of time where like, it's like Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Dan, it's like all of when they all were blowing up. And what movies got made and whatever. And so many of these movies that are just canon to us, they were like, didn't really open.

And you're like, oh, I don't care. Like, you know, I watched it 100,000 times, whatever, the man with two brains or, you know, like that was just, they just were movies, you know? And to like, not worry too much about like,

How it does. Yeah. How many theaters.

Yeah, well, I think movies still are tighter. Yeah, like I feel like TV, because there's just so much more, like you are getting, like you're getting Reservation Dogs, you're getting, you know, Simon Rich's weird show where the people, you know, like, Simon, you know, it's what Bottoms felt like. Yeah, totally. So refreshing.

So it's happening. Like, and you know, my daughter's 18, my older daughter, and that is, Bottoms is everything. Really? Everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gosh, I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Lindsay was coming. She had a lot of heat coming off of Freaky Friday. There's also Mark Waters. I think maybe. I can't remember. We should fact check for sure. But yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And she came. And I remember she came by SNL just to like hang out and be seen because I think she wanted to be considered. Yeah. She wanted to play Regina, which I think.

And Lauren was always wise, was like, no, you want that person to be the person who takes the trajectory to Regina.

He's basically like, that's the part that you want. She's like, okay.

We need to feed the SNL host pipeline by ruining children.

Fast and loud.

Fast and loud, yeah.

They really were. I mean, from home. They were nice. They were nice. Are you watching every week? Not every single week, but I try, you know, what sort of got me back into the, was Alice being old enough to, and like wanting to stay up and watch it. But she was not home last night because she was at the cast party for her own high school musical. What did they do? Well, The prom. She killed it.

They all killed it. They were all great. That sounds like a tour de force opportunity.

I know. It was super cute.

By the way, this girl killed it. Oh, I wish I had video for you because she killed it.

Do you know Jeff? My husband, Jeff. Yeah. Yeah. So he often brings up that like back in musical theater, like major college. Yeah. But you take makeup class and part of makeup class was always like you had to do drag or like you had to like do a gender swap with your makeup.

And he really likes to brag that he looked, this may be too old to reference for you, but he's like, I was very pretty and I looked like Barbara Mandrell. Oh my God. He's like, I was very pretty. Have you seen photos?

I have not seen photos. Okay.

I know, he has a beard right now, but he might shave it for the opportunity to show off Barbara Mandrell.

And then you can judge whether he still looks like Barbara Mandrell.

I bet, yeah.

No.

No, no, no. I feel like I do remember one time with the Golden Globes, like Alec was nominated for 30 Rock and he wasn't, and he was like, can we just call them and ask them if I won? Yeah. Because I felt like with that one, maybe you could have. And I don't think he was able to, and I don't remember if he won or not, but I don't, he was like, surely this one, they'll just tell me if I have to go.

Yeah. And well, I mean, I bet they would. If it's Alec.

Oh my gosh, I don't know. It's a thing because we ended, the last time we did it was this weird Zoom one that was a bummer. But we did used to have so much fun doing that. We really did.

That's a tricky one, yeah. Not to put the pressure on. I know, but we could either try to erase the Zoom one or, yeah. Well, NBC doesn't own it anymore.

And, you know, me, you, Countess Luann, we work for NBC.

Has she been working on her singing? No. Because everyone does.

It's a Bea Arthur.

100%.

Well, there's a lot of people who, yeah, if it's like, if you know how to put your show together and give people, and also if people know what they're signing up for.

Sangria.

The House Chianti.

It was like fermented Welch's grape juice.

Right, just sit down and do a Q&A. We did a little test run of like Netflix is a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just mostly a Q&A and a couple little like really undercooked bits and it was easy and fun. But we sort of thought like, oh, we should have a little bit of structure. And so we do. I feel like this is a really nice little structure.

I don't know if I should give it away because we may keep touring. But like, yeah, it has sort of like Four parts. There are wardrobe changes. Oh, love. There are one to four wigs.

Depending on the night. There is a little bit of improv. Okay. There's a little bit of standard. Come on. And a special guest. And a special guest. And so the structure, it reminded us of Golden Globes times because we always have, we have such, it's over 30 years.

So we do really have a shorthand of like, what if we go X, Y, Z? Like there's no ego in it. There's like we, and also we both been producing things for a long time. So I do feel proud. I feel like we're giving the white women that come to see us. And other people too, but let's not fool ourselves. And 30 something Asian. And beautiful Asian gamut. All are welcome.

I feel like we're giving people like what they want. But anyway, but also it's like hopefully a little bit

surprising as it goes along and but the answer is like it basically we I was on set we were finishing filming the Mean Girls movie in Middletown New Jersey and we had Amy and I had been working like once a week over zoom being like talking about what the show could be whatever and then we had from the day I finished and it was a brutal it was a very tiring fast shoot it was like a lot of late nights and whatever and um

So that was, say I finished on like the Monday and then like Saturday, we were like, our test show was in Port Chester. So she came and we had like three or four days. It was very much like the Golden Globes. We were like, okay, we got this, we got this.

And we just sort of finished figuring out the show and we've honed it some since, but it is sort of like, you know, when you write stuff and it's born quickly and it just comes right out, it's usually a good sign. And the structure kind of just slipped right out, so.

Yeah, so we started, you know, we were in, we started together at ImprovOlympic. Yeah. Sharna Halpern said to both of us, this girl, you're going to like this girl. We're going to put you on the same team. And we were the only two girls on a team inside Vladimir.

and which is a gay porn that's what it's named after a gay porn VHS tape that was on display at JJ Peppers on Clark and Farway oh my god it's huge for them I remember we also were like we named it after that and then as a team we were like we should all watch it once as a group and then we were like oh we watched like the first 10 minutes and then people drifted to other parts of the party except for like one or two of the straight guys that just hung in yeah right code switching icon yes yes

And so we toured together and then she, and we were both understudies for the main stage and she was 100% the A team and I was the B team. Like, I remember one time Kelly Leonard was like, you know, so-and-so's going, Dratch, Dratch is going on vacation and Amy can't, she can do all of the nights except one. And I was like, so I get it.

And he's like, no, you're going to, she's going to do all the nights except one and you're going to go on one time. And I was like, okay. Okay. But, and then she left to go do UCB show in New York. And then, and then I did main stage literally only because she left or I would have been waiting another two years behind her. I was John Glazer's understudy. Oh, John Glazer.

And he is such like a gender neutral in his comedy that I just was like, yeah, you can just step right in. Totally. Cause it's all just like wonderful weirdness.

Oh, they're the best.

I see them on Fire Island Summers in the summer.

Fire Island Pines.

Oh, so then I ended up trying to get a writing job at SNL and Adam McKay hired me and I started. And then, yeah, so at some point, I guess after the UCB TV show ended, I was like, but would you ever, but would you ever come over here? Would you ever audition? And I feel like it was sort of brokered that she was like, Basically, like I am not doing three through the door.

Like I'm not like I'm too established to come with my characters in my box of wigs. And so it was some kind of in between. It was more like a camera test.

There was something where I was like, I'm not going to work too hard.

Yeah. Forever the Enneagram 8. The Challenger.

I'm three.

Amy's obsessed with it.

You need to take the test tonight.

Amy's an eight.

It's one through nine.

I forget what nine is because I don't know a lot of nines.

Wing.

Wing four.

Oh, this is going to take over your life.

I know I'm a Taurus. I don't believe so much in astrology because it's random. And again, I'm not the Enneagram stuff. It's because I've been on tour with Amy for the last 17 weekends. So we're talking about a lot.

But I do put more stock in it because it's based on you answer a million questions. And it's based on you and what you think and how you react. That's the word, qualitative.

No, we're not opposites.

Our personas are opposites, right? Because it's more like I'm sort of tightly buttoned up and then she's more like little Boston dirtbag. But we're both actually pretty bossy. But yeah, to answer your question, when did I realize that we're sort of more powerful together?

I remember before, like Jimmy, I was doing an update with Jimmy and then he left and I was, felt very abandoned because I was like, he left, like he left.

And I did tests with other people and stuff. And then Lauren was doing that. And I think he was like, what do you think? Like leaving it sort of up to me. And I, there was a part of me that was like, oh God, I think I'm supposed to want to do this by myself. Like that's the power move. But I was like, but I'm a sketch person. I'm not a standup.

Right, and at the very like last minute, I remember I was coming back, this is too much information. I was coming back from a train trip from Washington, D.C., where I had weirdly and presciently taken a photograph for like the cover of, I don't know what.

With John McCain, like in 2000, whatever, but way before 2008. And I had to make the decision on the Amtrak ride back. And I called Amy and I was like, would you do me the great honor of being my wife? And then it just worked from there. And I think by the time the Globes and the Hillary and Sarah, all of it all, it just was like, oh, people do like us together.

I mean, it kind of has been for a long like maybe the credit goes to Sharna.

Who looks terrible until the end. Who looks terrible even now. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, the things I think we knew from, like, I felt that we brought producer brain to the table. We were like, front load it.

Don't come out. And I've watched other award shows since where I've been like, oh, no, no, no, my darling. Yeah. At the end of, like, the Oscars, don't come out at, like, 10, 50 with a long ass bit.

Everyone who's still in the room has lost. Get out of there. So like front loaded, don't go too long. Work the room. And also literally just like say who you are and remind people how they know you. I feel like we had just... Training from SNL of just like watching a million monologues.

Right. Which of these paths seems like a good path. Yeah.

Yes. And I mean, obviously, if you guys want to come.

That is a great question. I have to say, after so much time at SNL and also just being 53, where you're just like, I don't care.

And you've seen like you've seen so many waves of culture and you're like, yeah, guess who used to be a big deal and isn't anymore. Like whoever you are, it will pass. Right. And also having had to go make crazy phone calls and have crazy meetings and be like, like I've had to do things like. can you call Mariah Carey and ask her for the rights to, you know, this song?

And once you've done, like, I don't know if I can think of a person that I'd be like, you're such a big deal.

It's the 7th through the 19th. Thank you for doing the math real quick. I did the math.

I have met Oprah.

She loves Mean Girls.

I know, and I love her.

Love it.

I listen to it all the time.

She's a real star. A real star.

You were at the Jimmy Awards?

You were cruising.

Yes, and Evan Hansen, right? Yes, Evan Hansen.

The other thing that I loved about Renee on SNL was... Her live vocal was right up front in that mix. Right up front.

You could hear it was live.

Great Americans. Great Americans.

And then your aunt and uncle are coming to take them to the party.

You needed to have a little basket like in a wedding reception ladies room with like mints. Oh, yeah.

Because you don't want her to ride commercial. I saw that, and you're like, what, is she going to fly and have a layover? Is she going to be in the Delta lounge?

You're the real problem. I'm the real problem.

I expected better from you. It's really hard. Can you imagine if Amy said that to you?

Why'd they take them down?

You know what?

Don't. Should we host the Globes? By the way, are you passing down the crown? Yes, you should host the Globes together.

No. They're like, who is that guy? They would be like, it's Joel Kimbooster. Yeah, yeah. Because that keeps happening to you guys. Yes. And Zachary Quinto. No, but you really should do it because together is so much more fun.

Oh, I see.

Yeah. They're back. Yeah.

I think so. Okay. So I will say I was like, I was kind of sweating this because I, you know, again, 53, I have nothing but opinions, right? I have violent opinions about everything, but I'm also constantly afraid of getting in trouble. Yeah.

No, I think I'm in an okay area now, but it also like, I do have backups if we do it and you could, you'd be like, no, do a different one.

I was thinking about my own fear of crucifixion and it led me to my choice of topic. Okay, here we go. And I may look at my phone because I'm old.

I Don't Think So, Honey. Bowen Yang giving his real opinions about movies on this podcast. Oh! I regret to inform you that you are too famous now, sir. I know. What's going to happen? You having a problem with salt burn? Shh. Quiet luxury.

Keep it to yourself because what are you going to do when Emerald Fennell calls you about her next project where you play Carrie Mulligan's co-worker in the bridal section of Harrods and then act three takes a sexually violent turn and you have to pretend to be surprised by that turn. Ha ha ha. You have to have a clean paper trail. Nothing negative. Everything everyone does is amazing.

You hang out with Ariana and Spongebob. Now that is your life. Okay. And Matt Rogers, I can tell you, you got about one year left. And then you, yes. Learn from my mistakes. Learn from Ayo. Podcasts are forever. Authenticity is dangerous and expensive. I don't think so, honey.

It gets harder.

Tina Fey! Hello, gentlemen.

And it's a dangerous dance. Yes. And it's impossible.

And that's what people want and why it's authentic. But also...

What are you going to do when, yeah.

That was, I forgot my one note that I didn't get to as I was, as the bottom was going to be, I don't listen. I don't expect you to stand with Dave Chappelle at good nights. I'm not a monster. I'm not crazy, but I do need you to hug Mark Cuban like he is your long lost father. Like Jimmy did. And also, why did Jimmy do that? Why was Jimmy hugging Mark Cuban like they won the Super Bowl together?

Well, that's why Jimmy's the best because he's capable of joy.

Playing in the sketch.

A lady needs a lot of lights. And the gentlemen need a lot of lights.

I mean, I do think you guys are thoughtful and gentle. And if you say you don't like something, it's not just like just to be jerks. You know, you obviously were very thoughtful about those movies, but it does become a thing where it's like, oh, do you want to be people who keep it real and have their podcast forever? Or do you want to be goddamn movie stars?

then go then then i think we're doing amazing but like my like my my trail of mistakes lives behind me like right jacob marley's train like just chains of shame like i from like oh i'll just use this real name from my high school in new york like and then hit this person like that wasn't even it just like i liked their name like it's nothing to do with them yes

And then I'm like, that's a level of shame.

I mean, God forbid. And then like update jokes that you're like, I'll do it. I don't care. And then you're like, oh, right. And then, yeah, like so many kinds of these mistakes that you're like, why did I?

Please.

Yes. That is the original sort of Real Housewives New York era. Yeah. That was my era. I once chased Countess Lou Anne down the street on the Upper West Side because I was so, I was like, she's on the Upper West Side. Yeah, that's major. I chased her in front of that restaurant West that used to be there.

No kidding. It

That sketch was like, why did you say it? That was funny too.

Open a window. Be imparted in here.

Oh, what a delight to talk to you. I enjoy the podcast so much.

It's all sold out. The Beacon might be sold out. We still have a show coming in like Seattle. Thank you for knowing that. In Portland, there might still be tickets because we have to go back because the city froze and we had to cancel the show. But everyone who was mad on Twitter, if you couldn't get to the show that still happened, I think you can get tickets. We're doing the right thing.

So everyone... Calm down.

It's real culture number eight.

And then let me see. What else should I be a professional about? Oh, yeah. Girls by Vava. Meredith Scardino's amazing show.

All three seasons come to Netflix. So you can see Bowen Yang. You can see so many wonderful people. I believe March 14th. I hope I'm right about that. March 14th.

And I was like, I were, and I basically was like, I was like, Countess, and I was like, I work at NBC too. Yeah. I'm a Universal girl. We also work for Universal.

Oh, the best. I love Matt Whitaker. I still text with him sometimes.

He's a great theater going friend. Yes, he is great. He sees everything. He sees it all. And then Mean Girls 2024. Mean Girls 2024.

Yeah, that was one of the ones that I was like, oh, I can't do this and I'll get in trouble. I wanted to be like, I don't think so, honey. Little Broadway cunts on TikTok complaining about two lines of Revenge Party when I bring you fucking Rene Rapp. I bring you Ali'i Cravalho, Jaquel Spivey. This is why we can't have nice things. How do I say Avantika? Avantika.

Yeah, when the real, the original movie came out, she wasn't born.

Bye.

Well, first of all, no, I'm not Bethany. No way, no way. Thank you. I used to watch that season one. I used to really love like season one. You guys were probably in middle school because it was before nobody was aware. No one was like working the camera yet. Nobody was. And it was just really I just wanted to see people's apartments. I get it. I wanted to see their apartments and make judgments.

And I didn't need them to be fighting about stuff. No, no. I just wanted. And so who was it was. Oh, you know who I was obsessed with at that time was Alex. Alex.

Oh, bless.

But remember when she was redoing her Brooklyn townhouse and Jill Zarin came over and she's like, we're restoring this banister. And she was like, honey, you don't have to save everything. That's not a good banister. Right. And Jill Zarin, oh my God. Jill Zarin. Yeah, who else was in that original?

Which happens to everyone. I mean, you see yourself on TV and you go, oh, no.

Oh, no. What are we going to do about this?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, listen, I'm going to check it out. My instinct, my gut instinct is, oh honey, it's SNL, Mad TV. That there's not the taste maker at the core defines the thing, right? And so Walt Disney, but I'll go.

But I'll go.

And there are amazing things at Mad TV and amazing, hilarious people came out of Mad TV, but there just wasn't that unifying core taste.

But is that the Diablo Cody movie that's coming?

Okay.

Universal's trying to use that.

The Universal Monsters catalog in fun ways. And I'm enjoying that. Yeah.

17 shows a week. 17 nine minute shows a week. Performing every day.

Would I do a queue? The queue. That's what we mean. The queue. A queue. I mean, listen, in my heart of hearts, am I holding out for a Disney queue? Of course. Did I at one point try to volunteer me and Amy Poehler to do Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton for the Hall of Presidents? And they were like, we're good. Oh, my God.

Well, I only volunteered it to my friend who's like the guy that I didn't call.

To Sam. Oh, by the way, Sam is a huge part of our life now, too. Oh, my God. That makes me so happy.

It really is.

Which is not medically advisable. No.

Yes, it's beautiful. But I'm at age where I can do it once. Also, you don't not see a lot of protein spills outside. And just for clarity, that is vomit.

Keep looking at the planet. Don't look to the side. You're going to fuck yourself up. And people don't really listen. You have your strategies.

Of course, yes.

He did fine. The guy that cute. And I don't know if this is a true story or a story that I made up for myself. Either way. But I feel like someone else was supposed to shoot that. And then and something went wrong and they're like, you have to do it.

Here's who'll know, Sam.

If it interests you, I could try to get you in on this.

I mean, I think TV is sort of where I'm most comfortable because I feel like it's the most interesting place right now. There's more interesting things happening in TV, especially for comedy. I feel like the movies is kind of glacially popular. and it's not that I don't want to do movies, but it also just feels like there's so many more chances for people to fuck it up in movies.

Also, we all joke about like, remember when we used to make 22 episodes of things? That's like ridiculous now. Like everyone makes like three episodes and collects their awards.

I think so.

I just did that the one time and I remember I was like doing 30 Rock at the same time. I was doing, I think I started it. I remember I was on the set of Date Night with Steve Carell and I just had like a notebook on the set. I was like, yeah, I guess I said I would write this book.

And then as short as that book is, I felt like it near about killed me because again, I don't work a single and I was so used to having a writer's room and I was like, not so much that it was more work, but it was just so vulnerable of like, if this book comes out and people are like, It's 100% my fault. It's 100% a rejection of me personally. It's not a novel.

It's just like, here's what my deal is. And if people were like, boo. I've never felt so nervous about anything.

Are you in like an old person's bathroom? What is that?

Well, you get, yeah.

Yeah, that's a good question. What would I do? I probably would be trying to blow up on TikTok or something, right? I would be cutting out the middleman, which, listen, it's worked well in porn.

Who needs Hugh Hefner anymore, right?

Yeah, I think broadcast TV especially doesn't mean like to my kids, that doesn't mean anything to them. Like they don't they don't understand what's happening.

I think so. Yeah.

I mean, I thought about it. Thought about saying no, and then... My tip on Reese's, though, you know, this is my tip on all candy. Sure. Whenever there's holiday candy, where it's like the Reese's shaped like Santa Claus, always buy that candy because it's fresher.

Because they just made it. You could get a regular candy bar.

Could have been in the CVS for seven months.

It's funny you should ask that. Our older daughter, you know, I think if anything, maybe... would be interested in directing, I think she would be horrified to perform. And I never... When she was a little kid, I think all little kids think they want to. And I think I let her be... I think she was in some still photographs, Alice.

She played young Liz Lemon, but in a series of photographs at the end of 30 Rock. And that was like, that's enough. Let's keep it measured. And then this other one that you... No, no. What I'm dealing with. During the pandemic... For Girls5eva, we had to cast a kid to play Busy Phillips and Andrew Rannell's child, who is like a little YouTube villain.

And I had always said about that one, I was like, you know what? That's a Nellie. I got a Nellie Olsen right here.

I know. Small world. She became a stand-up. Believe me. Really? I loved her. Yeah, I remember she became a stand-up for a while, right?

Dude, if you don't know... Oh, my God.

Alison Arngrim, yeah. Yeah. There you go. Anyway, so I let her audition for this part because it was sort of like...

Of course I made her read. Yeah, because I thought that was going to be the end of it. And then her audition was pretty good.

Oh, it was going to get worse. And then she did pretty well. And then there was another kid who was like an actual experienced kid. And we're like, well... I was like, this will be good for her. We could hire the kid with more experience. And so I had to tell her like, well, you did really well. And I was making it up. I was like, you were in the top three.

And then she was like, basically was like, I didn't book it. And I was like, you didn't book it. I was like, you're half TFA. That bitch never booked anything. And so I was like, you didn't book it. But then because it was the pandemic, this other poor kid, they were like, well, she can work as a local hire, but she's in Michigan right now. And the quarantine, it fell apart.

And so then I was like, back up. All right, homegirl, you're up. So she's in it. And now we're faced now. And it was at the time it was like, you get to leave the house and get a test and work during quarantine. And I will say she was. incredibly professional. I said she was like a little bit like mommy. She was like very prepared and a little dead-eyed. You've all acted with me.

That's what it is. But she was good. A little dead-eyed. My God, if she hears a clip of that, she'll murder me.

Oh, a favorite theater horror story? I do have a pretty good theater horror story. It's from high school theater.

So, okay, in my high school, I played Van Helsing in Dracula because feminism.

Nice callback. And so, okay, so let me think about this. So I was Van Helsing in Dracula and we did like a total of two performances and everything went wrong. And I can't remember this story. Like the first thing that kind of went wrong would be like our theater was a thrust stage and the seats went up. Like tiered? So the stage was on the ground and the audience was up.

And we had a rubber bat on a very long string. Scene one, the bat's supposed to fly by. The bat gets stuck. It's just dangling on the stage the rest of the night. We're like, oh, that's not good. Then I give some big speech. There's this guy, Harker says to me, like, Professor, what is a vampire? And I give a speech like I give like a page and a half speech of what is a vampire.

Hi, my three buddies. How are you? Oh, look at her.

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

We'll double back. And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York. Like he was cool guy. He was not an athlete. And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.

And so John being like not an athlete and in this open arena, like I go a mirror and then he like, throws the thing, misses the mirror entirely. So then I'm trying to improvise, like, what am I supposed to say? And then a full 20 seconds later, a little techie kid comes out in full view of the audience with a hammer from behind and smashes the mirror.

Oh, at one point also, then the set caught on fire a little bit. There was like a little flash pot and the fake rocks of the castle were foam and started to catch on fire. And then my dad, who had been a fireman and did not fuck around, he stood up and he was like, fire! And we were like, okay. He stood up in the audience. This is like all act one. And then... Put the fire out. We continued.

It's a longer story than you wanted. And then again, the techies, like there's a part where like, there's a techie just like in a bay window, just like in full view of the audience with a fog machine, just being like, knowing he's just like a total hero. And then the end of the, the whole thing ended with like Van Helsing kills Dracula with a spike through the heart.

And it was, and I'm down and I'm like acting so hard and I'm doing this whole speech. And then I just hear laughter. And I was like, this, this can't be good. This is the end of the whole thing. Because again, the stage flat audience here, I was like lightning flashing. I'm killing the vampire. And I look up and just a toddler has wandered onto the stage toward me. And that's how not scary it was.

No, I have a, I have a weekend home now since the last I saw you, Sean.

Yeah, my dad was very taken with Willie. He's like, oh, God, that guy looks like an arrow shirt model.

Oh, no, Will was thin then. He was really thin then.

Yeah, I do think it would be so fun. I feel like in some ways it's hard to, Will and Grace was one of the last ones, especially on NBC, they don't really do them so much anymore. And I also have reached an age where I can't really be photographed from the waist down.

So like, but I do think it would be fun.

Oh, thank you. I don't know. I think I'm very shy. I think to me it sounds super stressful. I've never wanted to pursue that.

Well, and also those kind of late night talk shows, like that's a grind.

It was insane. First of all, also, if you hear weird breathing sounds, it's the dog. It's not me.

I think yours look black and white. Mine look a little tortoise-y. And can I tell you something? Just so you know, like, something, what I'm dealing with here, there's an incredibly passive-aggressive nine-year-old out here with me who will not vacate the area.

He's just a straight poo.

Yeah, looking back.

Crushed. It was insane. What we did, I don't know. We were just, I was what, 35 and had some juice left and doing 22 episodes. And also my baby, Alice was one when we started and it was crazy. It was crazy. Like I look, I look back and shudder at just what we, yeah.

I wouldn't say I enjoyed it. I mean, like, yeah, it's always one of those things where if you're like, oh, I'm lucky enough that nobody in my family died, so it's okay then to just quietly say, like, it was nice that we were together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's kind of nice. I think, like, I'm ready to retire, guys. Yeah.

Right. And it's all, you know, nothing compared to someone who's doing all those same work hours on a job that they hate that doesn't pay well.

And it's hard to—once you get to stop, it's hard to go back. Like, I've— Worked on a couple things. I did a little small part on this show that Steve Martin and Marty Short have. And it was that thing of like, and your pickup is 510. And you're like, oh, yeah, that used to be every day.

Especially for ladies because the hair and makeup.

I do like to go to an office.

And she's playing some basketball, which is like, this is probably the first day in her life that she's chosen to play some basketball, and it's during this podcast.

I wonder, I so wonder, it's like that thing of, you know, the improv training, right? You go back to it and it's like, when do you enter a scene? This is the trick, the thing that trips people up. Does anyone remember, like, when are you supposed to enter a scene? And the answer is when you're needed. It's the only time you're supposed to enter.

You're not supposed to enter because you have a funny idea. You're not supposed to enter because it's going well and you want a piece of it.

Oh, yeah. I want to see a couple places, but I don't need to see everywhere. I know I'm increasingly just a homebody. You know what I wish one of us should write is like someone should try to be Neil Simon, right? Like someone should write a play.

As if that's easy to do. But like to write a comedy, a hard comedy, because I'll tell you what, I go to these Broadway plays and what passes for a joke, Sean, is like mentioning Brooklyn as a joke.

Yeah, California Suite. Goodbye Girl is one I like.

I don't think they make comedy films anymore. They make like. Put them on Netflix. Let's do that. Yeah.

No one's going to make, you know, the in-laws now, the original in-laws. Right. No one's going to make.

You'd make it for Netflix, I guess.

You come ask them. Is that Penelope? Come ask them. What's your question? How much longer?

Opinions are all I have anymore. Go.

Anytime, guys.

I love all three of you.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I produced a show called Girls 5 Eva that comes out on Peacock on May 6th.

It's called Girls 5 Eva. And it's a comedy. It's super funny.

Yeah, Girls 5 Eva.

It's about a bunch of women who were in sort of a Danity Cain-level girl group around 2000, and then their song gets sampled now, and they're like, should we? We're all 40. We should get our band back together, right?

Yeah, it's really funny. It's Meredith Scardino is the creator on it, and it stars Sara Bareilles, who is... a delight, and her voice is ridiculous. She's incredible. And also, she's like a lovely, natural actress. And then Renee Elise Goldsberry, who you know from, oh, I don't know, fucking Hamilton, Will?

Yeah, it was great.

And then, wait, let me tell you the other two ladies. Busy Phillips...

And American treasure, Paula Pell.

Yeah, well, she's sort of, you know, we always joke with Paula that she finally aged into her type because she was always the kid at like 12 years old. She was in the play with gray spray in her hair. And now she's like, she's her actual type now.

She's reeked of gray spray for 30 years of her life.

I, let me think, yeah, I graduated in 92, spring of 92. I graduated from the University of Virginia, so I think I moved in the fall of 1992, yes.

Yeah, so I went to UVA kind of randomly, and then I went to Chicago, and I started ImprovOlympic first, and class at the Second City, and that's where I met Amy Poehler.

And a bunch of other people that only Amy Poehler and I know. Yeah. But like Kevin Dorff and Brian Stack and Miriam Toll and all those guys. Dratch, Rachel Dratch.

I mean, it is and it isn't, I guess, because, well, then at the time, there's like the Groundlings, stand-ups, the Groundlings and Second City were the places they looked. Now, you know, the internet has become the great equalizer and you find people on YouTube, you find people on TikTok, presumably.

Yeah, you were a musical director. Well, you didn't run into me because I don't sing. Because you were a musical director out in the burbs, right?

Glazer, I was Glazer's understudy. I was John Glazer's understudy. Yeah, and then he left to do Dana Carvey, right? Yes, yeah, that's right. And I got to go onto the main stage when he left, yeah.

Exactly. Adam McKay was already head writer at SNL. And he I submitted my writer's packet to him because I had been on stage at Second City and Lorne Michaels and Marcy Klein had come to scout talent and zero interest in me as a performer. So I was like, well, writer's packet it is.

He's an Oscar winner now, guys.

Yeah, Sudeikis was a writer. Did not want to be a writer. Conan was a writer.

Yeah, it is. I feel like I so wanted to be on Saturday Night Live that to me, I would like it would be hard for me to understand meeting anyone who didn't want to do that.

What do you mean you don't want to do that?

I was always a bit more of a writer. Even the way I contributed to the company at Second City, I definitely was, like, an idea person. I wasn't someone... I didn't have that magic thing that Horatio Sands or Rachel Drash have, where, like, they come out and you're just like, oh, this is gonna be good. Like, they're just so sparkly, you know?

Yeah, I mean, I think it's more work, the writing and directing. It is like people who are really good actors. Listen, acting is like 99% having a good face. It doesn't have to be a beautiful face. It's like an interesting face. You know what I mean? It could be Lupita Nyong'o. It could be Steve Buscemi. But you've got to have a face that people want to look at. And that's like 99% of it.

And then 0.4% beyond that is talent.

That's very kind of, I think now, I think I've like slowly worn people down. I think it's been like, it's mirrored my dating life in every way. I'm just like, I'll wear you down.

It was, you know, yeah, the long grift sort of paid off. I mean, there's a couple factors. There's, like, the team of gay scientists that fixed my appearance. You know, the...

And then, like, I always say, don't underestimate how gloriously lazy Lorne is about casting, because this is like, Conan, like, do you think someone was, like, going all over town being like, where's a pasty seven-foot redhead that we can put, that we can give a talk show to? It's like, no, he was around the office, being funny around the office. And that's the same thing happened here.

It was like, we need to new update anchors. Like, let me look inside my own eyelids. Like, who's available?

Writing is, like, it's only fun to have written something. Like, writing's only fun after it's over.

And... performing is, like, fun while it's happening. And then for me, if you're me, you usually look back after and go, oh, yeah, that wasn't... Yeah, that would include my... I would include myself in that, yeah. Do you think that, yeah?

Well, you're crazy.

Yeah. Well, Chevy was first, right? He was mostly just that. Right.

Not too much. He was a little bit.

He did Gerald Ford and some commercials.

It is now, because Jost and Che are the head writers, I think.

Seth was, yes, yeah. You know what I really did learn that time, too, was that I learned, you know, after Jimmy left, and then Lorne was like, well, do you want to do it by yourself? And I thought, like, well, I'm supposed to want to do it by myself, right? Yeah. And I think we even did, like, and then at the last minute, I was like, I don't want to. I want to do it with Amy.

And I realized, that's where I learned that I don't work a single, right?

Very late. Rudely late.

Maybe. I think you're probably, I'm going to assume that you're right about that. So many things, I dragged to trash. I don't remember a lot of things.

But that seems right. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I am a fan. And what's really exciting now is my older daughter, Alice, is 15. And so we stay up and watch together. So that's fun to be at that age with her where she's into it.

No. Do your kids want to watch your stuff?

That's healthy, though. That's healthy, I think.

And they watch everything. They've, like, you should watch Parks and Rec, 100%. Yeah. The Office, 100%. Yeah.

So, yeah, I mean, I'm still a fan of Kenan. That's never going to change. I think Chris Redd is super funny.

Yeah, you hosted. You were great on the show.

Yeah, that's a long show every week.

Yeah.

And the crew never messes up. They never accidentally put up the hooker set for the president sketch. They never mess up.

Nobody ever enters the Oval Office in a hamburger outfit. They always get it right.

You know what's so funny? When I was doing Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon, we started, and then, and you were doing this, and all this press, you know, this show was, like, so popular and exploded, and there'd be all these press things that said, like, Jon Stewart, America's best fake news anchor. And I was like, I'm kind of the only other fake news anchor.

Because Jimmy's, like, a sketch comedian, and Colbert wasn't doing his thing yet, and I was like... Dag, dag, America?

When I was at Second City, I was at Second City in Chicago back in the day, and when I first got there, I was a student, and Colbert and Steve Carell were on the main stage, and we used to go watch them all the time. And one of the two, I will not say which one, was a notorious ladies' man. Can I guess? Can I guess? But let me guess.

One of the two was very popular with the ladies.

I'm not going to say. I can't say.

Peter Colbert would be there with the acoustic guitar. Right, exactly.

He buys circus tickets by weight. What do you give for $50?

That's really become a thing.

Love it. Yes.

Good.

It's one of my favorites.

Amy, before you go, do you want to promote your new one? Because I've been listening to it and it's great.

Not that bad. Polar times? Not that bad. God damn. It was just, they texted this morning being like, Polar can get on earlier because she's at an airport. I was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens with my daughter and son.

Let me know when you need a hint.

The periwinkle players.

I appreciate how many people picked up on that.

And a lot of people responded to what color is periwinkle in the comments.

We were both kind of right, I guess, because people said it was a blue-tinted, like, lavender.

No, look it up. It looks pretty lavender.

Oh, yeah, spray paint cans. Yeah, same. Like, true blue.

Quiet army coming through with some good ones.

If you have to ask, when did we, maybe it's not a we, when did you guys start calling yourself Quaid Army?

You can baby step there.

Right.

Oh, all right. My guess, because it was embarrassing, but I don't think you would buy that vest. I mean, this is crazy, but I was going in the $200 somewhere.

But you love it.

You think it's your Lazy Sunday Supreme coat that you can't wear anymore because it's gone so viral like Lazy Sunday?

I think you should wear it proudly. I think if someone spotted you out in the wild, Jorm, who listens to this podcast, if you were wearing the vest, it'd be like they spotted two of us. They'd be double excited. They'd be like, well, hey, look at that bag of trash. Oh, no, it's Jorm. I saw Jorm, but I also saw the vest in real life.

I think seeing the vest might even be more exciting than seeing you. So I wouldn't be afraid of it. If they know enough to know about the vest, they're going to be so excited.

Yeah. Go around though. Peacock around town for sure.

Oh, shit. That's good. It's like Fight Club now.

You just say that. You don't need to back it up with like, when I was younger, my dad would show me all your shirts. You don't need all the information of what it is. We watch a closer look every night. You just go, Quaid Army. Quaid Army. Hey, Quaid Army. I have a random thing that we never talked about, but you're in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, the film. Did you see it recently? Actually, no.

I saw it when it came out. I don't know why I decided to bring it up now. When I was walking up to my podcast mic earlier, I was like, what are other things we've never talked about?

Oh, you pitched yourself as the actor. And they're like, sure.

Well, it was great. It was a delight to see you in there, Jorm. Go ahead, Seth.

Yeah.

I feel like we led them there with all our comments about how we were off the rails. We weren't really off the rails, but okay.

I'll stand by that. In rap form.

Is this the earliest in the morning we've ever done? I think so.

It's got more of a coffee, but like a pre-coffee. Like, I haven't even had mine. You haven't even had your job.

Yeah, it's later for you guys. That makes sense.

Yeah.

I was very happy. I remember to shoot it. And I remember feeling, of course, the relief of somebody else being like, I have an idea. And that's going like, oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. We can just do somebody else's idea.

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Oh, that was good. Impressive.

Oh, yeah. Let's hear that.

He absorbed it. Sorry, he observed it in himself. He wants cookies. Yeah. It is interesting that it is just combining two really good observations that we've all experienced. That moment where the food is in the middle of the table and you're starving, but everyone else is staying professional and no one else is eating it.

And it's like loud. It's like a chip in guacamole or something. You're like, I'm not going to reach over and like dip it. And everyone else is just sitting there and you're like, God, but I wish everybody was eating right now.

It took me even like a minute to get it. I was like, that's Jorma? And I'm like, is that Jorma? Oh, yeah. No, no. That's his soul.

Nice. All right, I'm looking through some comments. People are really right there with it. These are from years ago, not the Quaid Army comments that are recent on the cookies. I hate when there's food and people just ignore it, so I feel like I have to ignore it too. See, he really did just tap into something very human. And then this other one is, I'm bad, in quotes. Like, oh, I'm bad.

We all know a perfectly normal, ordinary person who says that every time they do something nobody cares about. Yeah, that's accurate. So he did tap into those two.

I liked seeing so much of the cast in this too. In my mind, the other people in it maybe were just background or something like extras and then re-watching it because I hadn't seen it since we made it. It was fun seeing Sudeikis and Abby Elliott and Kenan comes in, Bobby, et cetera.

there's a lot of angles like doing a dinner table scene. So it takes slightly longer than you want it to, to get people's reactions. But honestly, three hours.

Oh, excellent question. It's definitely just M30 rocket stuff pointed out. There's a couple of comments that pointed out, like this one says, this is proto, I think you should leave. And there were a few people saying that. And I actually had that thought in my head too, when I'm hearing the live audience kind of not doing much with it.

Not that I think it's like the most hilarious one ever or anything that deserves more, but I'm like, oh, this is such a small observation. There doesn't need to be an audience. And it's about one person in a business setting who is going down a path because they're hungry and

And, you know, there's that one with Tim where he's got the hot dog because they say that they're going to work through lunch. And it's not, you know, they're not the same sketch. I'm in no way, like, comparing in a damning way. But I am like, oh, right, if this was just shot and wasn't asking an audience for laughter and was just a piece of a thing, I think it would...

feel better than it does when you feel the audience not knowing.

This would go somewhere else with them, but I do feel like it was similar.

Well, it's weird. There's no sketch after the second music guest. It says then it just goes right to Good Nights, which is rare. Usually they would flip-flop that. I'm not sure why.

Yeah.

These might be wrong, though, because if you look over at cookies, it says Sandberg, Schaffer, Tocconi. Right, right.

I did not realize that he wasn't the whole sketch. And I see every memory came back as you said it. But the fact that they buried him under a real sketch and then let him just shine at the end as the... Sexist, racist.

It's so interesting when you do a character that just is sexist and racist. The audience is waiting for like the butt. No, there's nothing.

I'd love to see that look.

I've had multiple people in my life ask me if I get Viore discounts even more than this because it's genuinely something that they already purchase and own and want more of. And that is a genuine endorsement.

Well, here's the trick. I'll read this and then I'll tell you why it's the trick. Fiori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase. These are not first time people. That's why it actually is such a good endorsement is that they actually already own some of this clothing.

That's correct.

Too far.

Give me back my show. So many things were cut after dress.

Way more than a normal show. It must have been a very long show. We had one, two, three, four, five, six things cut after dress. And then the two you already mentioned after. So that's eight things. That's way more. That's it. That's a whole other show.

But isn't that, did he actually hate it? I thought Lamps was just making up a fun story.

Do you want to give him a code word? Oh, yeah.

It should just be periwinkle again.

All right. Love you, buds. Love you, guys.

Hi. This really works out, Fred, because the short we're up to this week is your short, the cookies one.

Do you go take a walk around when you get to the hotel?

No. Do you like walk around? When are you getting a sense of the place?

Oh, previously.

Let's figure this out on the air, guys. Let's figure it out. Tell me where you are. I have Google open. I can go to budget, rent a car. I can.

Other way, I think. Oh, I like these glasses, Amy. You look cute.

Yeah, it is three hours and 20 minutes. You guys could do it.

Well, there's side sleepers. That's people who sleep on their side. Back sleepers, if you sleep on your back. There's even starfishes, which I assume are tummy sleepers.

Yeah, you're just out.

Oh, yeah.

That is so cool. What are you, Seth? Give us your dirt. I'm a side sleeper. Oh, wow. You heard it here. Yeah, I'm a side. Do you ever roll onto your back and start snoring or are you like just a pure side?

I'm the same as you said. I'm a side sleeper, but I wake up and I'm on my back sometimes.

That's you, Jorm, right? You're a little sweaty sleeper, a little sweaty hog in the sheets. A little sweat hog. You know it. Yeah. So that cooling gel, have you tried it yet or are you looking forward to it?

Visit coopesleepgoods.com slash island to get 20% off your first order. That's C-O-O-P sleepgoods.com slash island.

Commercial and good evening and welcome back to the Vincent Price Thanksgiving special with me and three other dead people.

He started reading off the tracking number right into her M&M for all He said 3-1-2-5-6-9-3-5-6-7-3-4-5-2

An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about.

Anything. I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy. And I can see Russia from my house.

Yes, it is. Yes, they are. Tiny gremlins. There's tiny gremlins in our bodies. I've seen them in my microscope.

I thought of a new theme for you guys. The Lonely Island Self-Wise Podcast. Is that good?

I would like to imitate Archie Bunker. You stupid. You are so stupid. Everybody stupid. Get out of my chair, meathead.