Tina Fey

Oh, a favorite theater horror story? I do have a pretty good theater horror story. It's from high school theater.

Oh, a favorite theater horror story? I do have a pretty good theater horror story. It's from high school theater.

Oh, a favorite theater horror story? I do have a pretty good theater horror story. It's from high school theater.

So, okay, in my high school, I played Van Helsing in Dracula because feminism.

So, okay, in my high school, I played Van Helsing in Dracula because feminism.

So, okay, in my high school, I played Van Helsing in Dracula because feminism.

Nice callback. And so, okay, so let me think about this. So I was Van Helsing in Dracula and we did like a total of two performances and everything went wrong. And I can't remember this story. Like the first thing that kind of went wrong would be like our theater was a thrust stage and the seats went up. Like tiered? So the stage was on the ground and the audience was up.

Nice callback. And so, okay, so let me think about this. So I was Van Helsing in Dracula and we did like a total of two performances and everything went wrong. And I can't remember this story. Like the first thing that kind of went wrong would be like our theater was a thrust stage and the seats went up. Like tiered? So the stage was on the ground and the audience was up.

Nice callback. And so, okay, so let me think about this. So I was Van Helsing in Dracula and we did like a total of two performances and everything went wrong. And I can't remember this story. Like the first thing that kind of went wrong would be like our theater was a thrust stage and the seats went up. Like tiered? So the stage was on the ground and the audience was up.

And we had a rubber bat on a very long string. Scene one, the bat's supposed to fly by. The bat gets stuck. It's just dangling on the stage the rest of the night. We're like, oh, that's not good. Then I give some big speech. There's this guy, Harker says to me, like, Professor, what is a vampire? And I give a speech like I give like a page and a half speech of what is a vampire.

And we had a rubber bat on a very long string. Scene one, the bat's supposed to fly by. The bat gets stuck. It's just dangling on the stage the rest of the night. We're like, oh, that's not good. Then I give some big speech. There's this guy, Harker says to me, like, Professor, what is a vampire? And I give a speech like I give like a page and a half speech of what is a vampire.

And we had a rubber bat on a very long string. Scene one, the bat's supposed to fly by. The bat gets stuck. It's just dangling on the stage the rest of the night. We're like, oh, that's not good. Then I give some big speech. There's this guy, Harker says to me, like, Professor, what is a vampire? And I give a speech like I give like a page and a half speech of what is a vampire.

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

We'll double back. And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York. Like he was cool guy. He was not an athlete. And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.

We'll double back. And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York. Like he was cool guy. He was not an athlete. And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.