Toby Price

She said, pick your head up high, don't let them see you cry, and walk right out of that building and come home.

And I did just that.

I picked my head up high, didn't let them see me cry, and drove right down the street to the Dollar General for a box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

It's true.

If you're going to eat your emotions, there's no better way than Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

Well, after that, my wife and I found an attorney, and we began the appeal process.

Y'all, I've never been in trouble before, so this was all new territory for me.

But day one of the appeal went a little bit like this.

We had an expert witness come to say that reading kids' silly books is good pedagogy or teaching.

They objected.

We have evidence of other books, objection.

We have affidavits from other educators, objection.

See a pattern?

I learned some interesting things that day that I did not know, like the superintendent had no idea who Shel Silverstein was, had never heard of No David, had never heard of a cow to coddle ward, or worst off, and this one, my wife grabbed my leg and she'd never heard of Captain Underpants.

And most importantly, that day I learned that not one parent complaint was submitted into evidence.

Not one.

Well, the second day of the appeal was a lot more arduous than I had expected.

It was my turn to testify, and they got to ask me questions, and they all but accused me of being a liar, a thief, and a pedophile.

It was a terrible, terrible day.

The whole process is still ongoing.