Tom Bellamy

So what you've described there, so things like gambling addiction.

So that's termed a behavioral addiction.

And I think limerence is exactly like that.

So it's a natural reward that you become so, that you desire so strongly that it becomes irresistible.

And in fact, the neuroscience behind this is quite well understood in terms of the changes within the brain that mean that your sort of dopamine system is driving you into a state of wanting something

so powerfully that it becomes difficult to resist.

And your executive brain that should be sending feedback to moderate that desire, that gets weakened.

So it's a known phenomenon that there are some natural rewards.

So gambling is the best studied, but people often talk about addiction to

the internet or to shopping or to pornography or various other behaviours that can become addictive.

Now, this is different to, say, cocaine or alcohol addiction or some other drug of abuse because there, of course, you are introducing a chemical into your body that will directly affect the brain and directly change the operation of the brain.

So there is a bit of a distinction there, but I would definitely class limerence amongst those kind of behavioral addictions.

So the changes in the brain are real.

You drive yourself into a state where you want someone to such an extent that it becomes irresistible.

Sure, so you're absolutely right.

If you're able to have an open relationship with the person that you've become limerent for,

then it can be wonderful.

You can just form a kind of a union, an ecstatic union together and enjoy the fireworks.

But if you're not able to do that, and unrequited love is a good example of that, but even worse is if you become limerent for somebody and there are kind of constraints.

So there's barriers like professional barriers or social barriers, like the person that you're infatuated is married or, you know,