Tom Junod

I believe it's on page four.

Yeah.

So the eulogy had a title.

If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly.

And that was one of my dad's sayings.

My father, dad, pop-pop, was not like other fathers.

He was not like other people, period.

A lot of people have told me that he's with Jesus now.

Well, with all due respect, I have my doubts.

Unless, of course, Jesus has shaved his beard, ditched the sandals, and is drinking a martini at the El Morocco circa 1955 with Frank and Ava.

This is not to say my father was not a believer.

He had a whole belief system.

He believed in a lot of things.

And what he believed in, he believed in absolutely.

He believed that there was not a person in the world whose appearance could not be helped by exposure to the sun, or what he called a fresh burn.

He believed that there was not an ailment in the world that could not be cured by salt water.

He believed that the way Rhett Butler treated Scarlett was the way all women should be treated, and that Clark Gable was robbed when he didn't win the Oscar for Best Actor in 1939.

He believed that the lottery was a game of skill rather than chance, and that he had won it twice, but for some reason had neglected to turn in the ticket.

And he believed to the very end that he was going to win again.

And then, as he said, then I'll teach you how to live.